lan82
Feb 20, 2021
Writing Feedback / Cheaper international travel and more countries welcome foreign visitors. Adv outweigh disadv? [3]
Thank you a lot Holt
Thank you a lot Holt
lan82
Feb 15, 2021
Writing Feedback / Cheaper international travel and more countries welcome foreign visitors. Adv outweigh disadv? [3]
International travel is becoming cheaper and cheaper, and more countries are now opening their doors to foreign visitors.
It is generally believed that travelling to foreign countries is becoming gradually cheaper, and there is an increasing number of countries welcoming visitors from other nations. While there are some drawbacks that this phenomenon offers, I believe that these are outweighed by the merits.
On the one hand, there are two major disadvantages of this trend. Firstly, immigrating to different countries contributes to air pollution due to the large amount of carbon emissions produced by transportations. This would worsen the air quality and pose a grave threat to people's health, leading to many illnesses such as respiratory diseases and lung cancer. Secondly, if the number of people who can afford to travel is rising, the international travel destinations will be increasingly crowded. Therefore more and more airports and tourist facilities including hotels and roads will be built, which might result in habitat destructions. Vietnam, for example, has deforested a part of their southern areas to build a new airport to meet the traveling demands of the local as well as the international tourists.
On the other hand, I am convinced that the benefits of this view are more significant than any disadvantages. Reducing the price of traveling cross-country and increasing the number of nations that are available for international tourism help boost cultural exchange and broaden people's knowledge. The locals there could understand more about cultural diversity and learn foreign languages. Furthermore, this trend also boosts countries' economy since it creates more jobs in services such as accommodation and transportation. Eventually, these new jobs would lead to the amount of income tax rises, contributing to the state's budget.
In conclusion, despite concerns regarding air quality and habitat, these trends does more good than harm by enlarging people's understanding and improving countries' economy.
please help me evaluate my essay, thank you!
International travel is becoming cheaper and cheaper, and more countries are now opening their doors to foreign visitors.
Do you think that the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?
It is generally believed that travelling to foreign countries is becoming gradually cheaper, and there is an increasing number of countries welcoming visitors from other nations. While there are some drawbacks that this phenomenon offers, I believe that these are outweighed by the merits.
On the one hand, there are two major disadvantages of this trend. Firstly, immigrating to different countries contributes to air pollution due to the large amount of carbon emissions produced by transportations. This would worsen the air quality and pose a grave threat to people's health, leading to many illnesses such as respiratory diseases and lung cancer. Secondly, if the number of people who can afford to travel is rising, the international travel destinations will be increasingly crowded. Therefore more and more airports and tourist facilities including hotels and roads will be built, which might result in habitat destructions. Vietnam, for example, has deforested a part of their southern areas to build a new airport to meet the traveling demands of the local as well as the international tourists.
On the other hand, I am convinced that the benefits of this view are more significant than any disadvantages. Reducing the price of traveling cross-country and increasing the number of nations that are available for international tourism help boost cultural exchange and broaden people's knowledge. The locals there could understand more about cultural diversity and learn foreign languages. Furthermore, this trend also boosts countries' economy since it creates more jobs in services such as accommodation and transportation. Eventually, these new jobs would lead to the amount of income tax rises, contributing to the state's budget.
In conclusion, despite concerns regarding air quality and habitat, these trends does more good than harm by enlarging people's understanding and improving countries' economy.
please help me evaluate my essay, thank you!
lan82
Feb 15, 2021
Writing Feedback / [Writing task 1] - Household income and spending on food and clothes in UK [5]
As far as I am concerned , in the last sentence of the 3rd paragraph, "while" is used with"," to join two sentences, so you cannot use "while" like that. You could use adverb such as Moreover and Furthermore
As far as I am concerned , in the last sentence of the 3rd paragraph, "while" is used with"," to join two sentences, so you cannot use "while" like that. You could use adverb such as Moreover and Furthermore
lan82
Feb 15, 2021
Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 1: Student enrolment in 1980 and 2000 [6]
@NgocLinhh
Hi, "The pie charts illustrates" pie charts = plural so you must use plural verb as well ( illustrate).
went up to by only 5% ...
@NgocLinhh
Hi, "The pie charts illustrate
went up to by only 5% ...
lan82
Feb 15, 2021
Writing Feedback / IELTS task 1, what nursing graduates did in the UK [4]
Thank you two a lot, sorry for my late responding
Thank you two a lot, sorry for my late responding
lan82
Feb 4, 2021
Writing Feedback / IELTS task 1, what nursing graduates did in the UK [4]
The pie chart gives information about what did nursing major students do when they graduate, while the table illustrates the destinations of these students in health sectors in Britain in 2009. Overall, it is apparent that a great majority of nursing students chose to work in health sector after they had left school. Also, the largest percentage of these students worked as hospital nurses.
As can be seen from the chart, just over three quarters of nursing graduates found a job in the health sector. In addition, a minority of these graduates decided to pursue higher education, at 8%, which was twice as high as the figure for those who combine studying with working, with 4%. Meanwhile, the proportion of nursing students who made other decisions and were unemployed were 10% and 1%, accordingly.
Regarding the table, seven out of ten nursing major graduates, who enter the health sector, want to work as hospital nurses. The figure for midwives and mental health nurses differed slightly, with 12% and 10% respectively. Finally, the health administration had a considerably low employee (2%), which was three times lower than that of other parts of the health sector (6%).
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Please evaluate my ielts writing task 1, thank you!
health sector destinations for british nursing graduates
The pie chart gives information about what did nursing major students do when they graduate, while the table illustrates the destinations of these students in health sectors in Britain in 2009. Overall, it is apparent that a great majority of nursing students chose to work in health sector after they had left school. Also, the largest percentage of these students worked as hospital nurses.
As can be seen from the chart, just over three quarters of nursing graduates found a job in the health sector. In addition, a minority of these graduates decided to pursue higher education, at 8%, which was twice as high as the figure for those who combine studying with working, with 4%. Meanwhile, the proportion of nursing students who made other decisions and were unemployed were 10% and 1%, accordingly.
Regarding the table, seven out of ten nursing major graduates, who enter the health sector, want to work as hospital nurses. The figure for midwives and mental health nurses differed slightly, with 12% and 10% respectively. Finally, the health administration had a considerably low employee (2%), which was three times lower than that of other parts of the health sector (6%).
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Please evaluate my ielts writing task 1, thank you!
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