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IELTS task 1, what nursing graduates did in the UK

lan82 2 / 4  
Feb 4, 2021   #1

health sector destinations for british nursing graduates

The pie chart gives information about what did nursing major students do when they graduate, while the table illustrates the destinations of these students in health sectors in Britain in 2009. Overall, it is apparent that a great majority of nursing students chose to work in health sector after they had left school. Also, the largest percentage of these students worked as hospital nurses.

As can be seen from the chart, just over three quarters of nursing graduates found a job in the health sector. In addition, a minority of these graduates decided to pursue higher education, at 8%, which was twice as high as the figure for those who combine studying with working, with 4%. Meanwhile, the proportion of nursing students who made other decisions and were unemployed were 10% and 1%, accordingly.

Regarding the table, seven out of ten nursing major graduates, who enter the health sector, want to work as hospital nurses. The figure for midwives and mental health nurses differed slightly, with 12% and 10% respectively. Finally, the health administration had a considerably low employee (2%), which was three times lower than that of other parts of the health sector (6%).

Please evaluate my ielts writing task 1, thank you!

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,918 4798  
Feb 5, 2021   #2
This is one of the better written chart comparisons that I have read at this forum. You managed to clearly represent each image in the summary presentation, and also offered a clear trending statement based on the images provided. That efficient presentation alone will be enough to get your scoring started at a higher than passing note.

I have to point out though, that you should not be using phrases such as "As can be seen from the chart" because the reason you are being asked to write this report is because the people reading it do not have access to the given images. This is a written report that summarizes the image information. It is better not to refer to the chart in that way. Rather you could say "Based on the chart information..." in reference to the image information you are providing.

There are very few grammatical errors in your reporting. The examiner will not be stressed out while reading your presentation as your GRA is clear and can easily be followed. You should not have a problem getting a higher than passing score with this type of presentation.
LadyOfClockwork 30 / 102  
Feb 8, 2021   #3
I think the last sentence in the last paragraph can be further improved. I'd love to rewrite it as below:

-> Of the students who made the decision about three quarters work as hospital nurses.
OP lan82 2 / 4  
Feb 15, 2021   #4
Thank you two a lot, sorry for my late responding

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