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Posts by MsC
Name: Cindra
Joined: Mar 25, 2021
Last Post: Mar 30, 2021
Threads: 1
Posts: 5  
Likes: 1
From: Indonesia

Displayed posts: 6
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MsC   
Mar 30, 2021
Scholarship / Motivation Statement for AAS - applying for a master degree in Public Health [8]

@albertedwn

keep fighting! you will pass the scholarship at the right time.
so, actually what I mean is not by simply copying the information on the website of universities. hmm, take for the example: "after doing deep research about public health courses at universities in Australia, the University of Melbourne has appealed to my objectives in several ways. first, the course offers XXX module which will equip me with Y skills and the opportunity to take part in health promotion in Aussie. as one of my plans is to increase the awareness of nutrition among adolescents,it will strengthen me with bla bla bla....
MsC   
Mar 29, 2021
Scholarship / The proposed study will have a vast impact on my professional career - Australian awards scholarship [3]

@Abl steven Hi, let's me to add some feedback.
first of all, as there is a limited word in the essays, you should minimise the flow of your essays without eliminating the main meaning. for example, you can just delete "The proposed study will ...", and directly start your answers.

"I will be able to join the Timorese government ..." >> which institution will you join? you have to be specific here. and how is the strategy to reduce the poverty? please elaborate on your practical steps to do it, not just being rhetorical.

be able to apply it to Timor-Leste's economy and .... >> I have no idea about this, please rewrite it with understandable sentences. plus, please mention the Timor Leste economic conditions

you have to note that being specific, bold, brief, and feasible is a must in writing this kind of essay.

Best of luck with your application!
MsC   
Mar 29, 2021
Scholarship / Motivation Statement for AAS - applying for a master degree in Public Health [8]

@albertedwn Hi..it's a nice essay. however, if it turns to scholarship essays, you have to make sure that your writing has answered what the question is.

first of all, being bold is needed here. highlight your strongest reason why it should be that universities and courses, what curricula or modules suit your career path - at the beginning of essays. please introduce your specific goals (reasonable, feasible, and brief as they might be).

at the third paragraph: "and this is similar situation ...." >> I have no idea where the word "this" refers to.

Best of luck with your application!
MsC   
Mar 25, 2021
Writing Feedback / Self-employment became popular among the majority of people. Why is that? [6]

Topic:
Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation.

why might this be the case? what could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?



Recently, being a self-worker has been popular among the majority of people comparing to be an employee at a company or organisation. This trend happens due to the flexibility of time and the high amount of gained income. Nevertheless, the stability of long-term self-worker should be considered as it might be one of the drawbacks.

Having an unfixed working schedule and unlimited salary is a sample of the opinion why people tend to begin their own business- as self-employed. As more and more expenditures become skyrocketed, while the wages that earn from being worker at a company have not any increase, people try to figure out solutions for their well-being. Apart from this, they can choose when they will be on duty and take a rest. In Indonesia, many fresh graduated start their own business by selling products or services online, rather than sitting to walk-out interviews for a big company. It can be seen from a decreased number of applicants either in public companies, such as Indonesia Fuel Company (Pertamina), or private companies.

Ironically, however, there is a fear that should be thought of by being self-employed: sustainability of the business. Since all the risks are in the founder's court, they are the ones who can predict how long their own start-up will exist. If they cannot manage well it, hardly does it survive in business battles. When one who is without any experience and networking establishes their business, it is highly likely to be a short-term business.

In conclusion, despite the benefits of being a self-worker, namely having a lot of spare time and a high rate salary, someone should think about the challenge which is possible to deal with, long-term business existence.
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