Posts by kitana2505

kitana2505

Apr 21, 2021

Writing Feedback / Some people are regarded to be born with certain talents, and others are not [4]

I would paraphrase the topic for the introduction like this:
It is widely believed that some people were born gifted in a particular field, such as music or sport and they could easily become professional people in the future, while others argue that everybody has to learn to be good at something. To my mind... (your sentence)

And the conclusion:
To summarise, to be professional in a field, it is essential to train hardly and persistently. The talent contributes only 1%, while the accounts for 99% in a successful performance.

kitana2505

Apr 21, 2021

Writing Feedback / WRITING TASK 2: Unsatisfactory job, shortage of money or Improve and try [4]

In the introduction, you said employees should enhance their knowledge and experience, so I think the second paragraph where you are discussing why are worker struggling with further learning is unimportant.

I would rewrite the conclusion:
In conclusion, each worker should consider the goal of their career and tries his best to achieve what he wants. This leads not only to a higher opportunity of promotion but also a happy working life.

kitana2505

Apr 21, 2021

Writing Feedback / The widely held opinion is that some governments are investing too much money in the arts [2]

IELTS Task 2: Government is wasting money on the arts

I am learning IELTS and this is my essay on the topic.
Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts. And that this money could be better use elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

Art has existed for a long time and has always appeared in all aspects of human development since then. However, that the government is investing too much money in the arts is the widely held opinion. Those who think that the funding of the arts fields could be used for other purposes are greatly mistaken.

Art consists of seven forms and they are always present in our daily life, such as cinema, music, painting, theater, literature. One cannot deny that they are different types of entertainment that cannot be missing in society. By going to the cinema, listening to music, people can relax after many stressful hours of work with only a small amount of money. With these simple ways to relax, we can better focus on our work, which leads to greater efficiency. In addition, the profit, for example, from the music and film industry, is not a small amount and this also contributes to the development of the economy.

Moreover, some people were not born to be a scientist or an engineer. Their mind is full of emotions and art is the way they can express themselves. Investing in art is the encouragement for them to develop their appropriate skills. Furthermore, introverts, who do not often show their feeling, may sympathize with the messages of a song or a book, which helps them express their thoughts better so they can interact well with other people.

Taking these points into considerations, I would like to emphasize that, the arts prove their advantages not only in the economy but also in the social life of human. The investment in this sector is absolutely not a waste of money and it should be balanced with the funds for science, technology or healthcare.

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