Writing Feedback / TOEFL: It is more important to set realistic goal than ambitious goals. [4]

Emma, your essay is nicely written. May be you need to check your grammar and spellings a bit but overall, you have conveyed a good message and throughout your essay you are consistent with your opinion. You should revise your conclusion and write a few more sentences.

Writing Feedback / I agree with the statement that it's more important to set the realistic goals than ambitious goals [3]

Hello Pallavi. You have written an excellent essay. Did you check the time and the word count? The advice given above by Holt is good but you need not worry about using first, second etc. as transition words. You can use other expressions also for changing the paragraphs as taught in the classroom. You can conclude your essay with In conclusion, or To sum up.