Poetry / T. S. Eliot's The Waste Land--Sex and love [7]

I am only about halfway through this essay, but i wanted some imput because i have to do something and leave it for a while. Please leave your comments and specifically, do you like how i almost quoted myself in those last sentences (in reference to my thesis)?

T. S. Eliot's The Waste Land relates to his audience the concept that anything that cannot or will not produce is a wasteland. A prominent example of this in the piece is sex and the way the world abuses it. He offers us an image of the many ways in which sex is abused or misused and points out that these unholy representations of sex are indicative of the wasteland. Even in the opening lines of his poem he indicates that something meant to be beautiful and dynamic has become "dead land"-a wasteland (Eliot, 2). Humans have been "mixing memory and desire...stirring dull roots with spring rain" by confusing the spiritual and emotional roles of sex with the physical, carnal roles of sex. Eliot invites us to watch humanity tragically transform the beautiful, sacred, distinguishing, creative ceremony of love-making into a clattering, mindless, loveless machine, churning out loss of innocence, exploitation, and murder.

Sex is out of place when mutual love and respect between a man and a woman are not involved. Loveless sex is sex abused. There is no intention of reproduction; there is no purpose other than the satisfaction of animal desires. What we need is sex that produces life; that rejuvenates and restores, that is not sterile. In the second part of the piece, A Game of Chess, Lil is trapped in a marriage in which her husband does not really love her. This is the distinction we as humans often fail to make in our encounters with people we "love". We often fail to see the difference between the physical and emotional aspects of sex. Lil's husband desires sex only to satisfy his body, not his heart and mind. Lil's friend warns her that she'd better fix her teeth, because if she fails to do so, her husband will no longer have any desire for her, because he equates the physical with sex and sex with love. So, essentially, love is physical for him. Not only is sex dependent upon physical appearances, but love and fidelity are dependent upon sex. Further, Lil's friend advises her that if she "don't give it him, there's others will". She has said that any woman will do, and that any woman, including herself, would be willing to take her place. When Lil mentions her recent abortion her friend inquires of her, "What you get married for if you don't want children?" (164). This may be the only reasonable thing her friend says in this exchange, but she does have a point. Why engage in a sacred act meant for reproduction and a demonstration of love when reproduction is not the goal and love is absent? Loveless, lifeless, murderous sex, "bats with baby faces" (380). The Waste Land.

The typist readies her house for a young male guest in the third part of The Waste Land, The Fire Sermon. There is clearly no love involved in this encounter, as once the "young man carbuncular" leaves, the young girl is "hardly aware of her departed lover"(, 249). This scene also demonstrates the use of sex as a means for obtaining power. Obviously this girl is not interested in this young man, as she is "glad it's over" when the chore is done (252). So what could possibly be her motive in participating in this liaison? This young man, though unattractive, arrogant, and aggressive, has been successful, or at least, he appears to have been successful. The typist is likely only sleeping with him for status, money, or power. Whether or not he is aware of this, he "assaults at once" in his pursuit of sexual pleasure, and she does not refuse his advances (239). He desires only what she can offer him sexually, and she desires only what rewards he can offer her. Neither loves the other. They are only a clattering, mindless, loveless machine, churning out exploitation.

Cleopatra, if we assume that the woman represented is referring to Cleopatra, in A Game of Chess demonstrates several abuses of sex. We can almost consider her forced seduction a rape, especially when Eliot inserts Philomel's tragic story as a hint. Cleopatra has paintings of Cupidons surrounding her bed where this fornication takes place, a grotesque mixture of voyeurism and loss of childhood innocence. The enticing riches and the sickening yet tantalizing smell of exotic perfumes lure in her prey. Philomel seems an influential character for Cleopatra, as her rape and transformation are displayed above the mantel.

Whether or not the following conversation is between Cleopatra and Antony or another unnamed couple, we can tell that there is no love in this relationship either. The man's inaudible answer to his lover's whining suggests that he is bored with their relationship and that they are in the wasteland: "We are in rats' alley where the dead men lost their bones" (115, 116). Their relationship is no longer fruitful and invigorating, it does not produce anything, there is sex without love, and the hint that children often interrupt: "Pressing lidless eyes and waiting for a knock upon the door" (138).

This poem is Eliot's cry out to European society to step back and take a look at what they have done to the things in life that are supposed to be beautiful and productive. Quoting the Upanishads, Eliot implores us to give: "Datta". We must give even at "the awful daring of a moment's surrender which an age of prudence can never retract" (405, 406). When the whole world is misusing the sanctity of human sexuality, give them the example; give them a chance to see the beauty of such a ceremony. "Dayadhvam": He asks us to have compassion on those who cannot see the spirituality and love that should accompany sex. They are the ones suffering for their ignorance. "Damyata": He challenges us to control ourselves and not to let the "arid lands behind" us drag us back to our unrefined state. The journey through the wasteland is only worth it if we come out the other side stronger, wiser, and searching, "fishing" (425).

Book Reports / Jake Barnes in Hemingway's "The Sun Also Rises" [2]

In Earnest Hemingway's The Sun Also Rises, he presents to us the idea that Life is a battlefield, and that each move we make contributes to the end result, no matter how seemingly inconsequential. At some point in this battle, we must be wounded deeply. In fact, in order to see the world properly, and to become truly profound as an individual, we not only must have experienced this "hurt", but, as he presents in his novel, we must heal from it as well. It is this learning process that defines a man (or woman, as the case may be) as a hero. Jake Barnes, his protagonist, certainly has experienced a Great Hurt. But according to Hemingway, he must heal himself completely for the hurt to even have been worth the pain it caused.

While in war, Jake Barnes suffered a battle wound to the groin that rendered him impotent. The woman he loves, Brett Ashley, loves him, but understandably does not want to pursue a more serious romantic relationship with him because of his-shall we say, handicap. This emotional hurt is likely far more devastating to Jake than his physical hurt. But, as Hemingway's exemplar, Jake suffers with dignity and grace. He does not become angry with Brett for her decision, in fact, he tolerates her promiscuity even though she continually insists that she loves him. That is not to say that Jake did not suffer, or to diminish the degree to which he suffered, but Jake keeps his pain internal so as not to further emasculate himself. "He is celibate, not passionless" (Bradley). But he is human, and he does suffer. He experiences more than one "dark hour of the soul" throughout his healing process: "I lay awake thinking and my mind jumping around. Then I couldn't keep away from in, and I started to think about Brett and all the rest of it went away. I was thinking about Brett and my mind stopped jumping around and started to go in sort of smooth waves. Then all of a sudden I started to cry" (Hemingway, 39). Jake's pain is nearly unbearable, and yet he conceals his misery in the presence of others to maintain "grace under pressure".

Jake's battle with his faith is a prominent theme within The Sun Also Rises. He is struggling with what he believes and how firmly he believes it, but he is searching. He is still praying. He even "regretted [he] was such a rotten Catholic" and "wished [he] felt religious" (103). Catholicism is largely characterized by an ignorance of suffering and a rather stoic response to pain-a sort of "sucking it up" mentality. When Bill Gorton asks Jake if he is "really a Catholic", Jake has to make a decision (128). He feels uncomfortable identifying himself fully as a Catholic because he does not feel that he participates fully. He feels that he is only "technically" a Catholic because he is unable to ignore his pain and endure it as if it were something deserved (129). But if he is still searching and praying, he is not lost. He knows what he believes in, and he knows his values, he just doesn't know where they fit in. He thinks he needs some sort of label to dictate his moral compass, but in reality he is the most devout and religious character in the novel. So is Jake searching? Yes. Is there anything Jake really needs to be searching for as far as religion? Probably not. He is looking for something he already has, and something he doesn't need.

How fitting it is that Jake is of military background, for all of his bravery and persistence. He has a code of honor, and he lives by it and sticks to it. The most obvious example of this is his love for Brett. He knows he loves her and that she loves him, or at least thinks she does. He further knows that they cannot be together in the long run because of his devastating injury. Despite all of this, he continues to love Brett and be available to her when she needs him and do everything in his power to make her happy. He only wishes more were within his power so he could do more for her. He even helps her get from other men what he and she both wish she could get from him. One can only imagine the pain and jealousy of a man arranging an affair between a woman he loves and a younger man. But, as with almost everything else he does, he sets aside his desires and discomforts for the sake of the woman he loves. If there is any aspect of Jake's life in which he is consistent, it is his love for Brett. Even when he knows their romantic love cannot progress, he loves her still. He realizes that he may even be too loyal, and even becomes slightly bitter about the situation: "Send a girl off with one man. Introduce her to another to go off with him. Now go and bring her back. And sign the wire with love" (243). But he drops everything he is doing, jumps on a train, and comes to her when she needs him, all because he loves her. What he is doing is pushing through the pain. He is "soldiering on bravely", like a good strong Catholic should. Maybe he isn't aware, but the alert reader catches it. He thought he wasn't truly a Catholic because he didn't "put up with" the pain, but that is exactly what he has been doing and how he has been growing. By the end of the novel, not only has he healed himself from his hurt, but he has also healed his broken relationship with God. He has come to terms with the fact that he and Brett cannot be together, and he has come to terms with his faith in the process. He has learned to take life at face value and enjoy it for what it is, rather than what it cannot be.

Undergraduate / Describe a meaningful event...UF application essay...Missions trip to Honduras. [5]

Any feedback is greatly appreciated. I know it's long and I know my transitions suck, so i'd love suggestions on how to fix that. Thanks!

The summer after my sophomore year, I went on a mission trip to Honduras with an organization called Project Teamwork. Although it sounds like a cliché, my life was forever changed.

There were two consecutive one-week trips. The first week consisted of a series of vignettes encouraging abstinence. We traveled around to different middle and high schools throughout the week performing and giving our testimonies of faith. I composed and wrote lyrics for an original song and translated it to Spanish for the drama. During the second week, we cemented, stuccoed, and painted a church, held marriage-counseling classes, provided childcare with bible study curriculum, and held a wedding for two couples in the church we had renovated.

I went on the trip because I wanted to augment my already proficient skills in the Spanish language and because I feel a call to serve those in need. I came back having not only accomplished these goals, but also having learned a great deal about people's perception of life, happiness, and value. I came back inspired with a completely new perspective, one that would shape my life and give me insight as to what really matters in this world, and how to attain that.

Having just wiped sweat off my face, I looked over my sleeve and saw a little girl, about four years old, watching me sling cement on the skeletal walls of what would soon be her village's church. She and her friends played there every day because, even though there was no air conditioning, there was shade in the blistering Central American summer. She asked me what I was doing, and I told her. She asked me if she could help, and I almost refused her, thinking I was merely turning down a polite dinner guest's request to help with chores. But when I looked into her eyes, I realized that all she really wanted was to be a part of the wonderful thing she saw us doing. She loved this place, and she wanted to help me improve it. I could not refuse her. She and I talked and laughed for a long time as we slung cement, and I learned that she helps her 17-year-old mother take care of her baby brother. Her mother, like most mothers in the areas we visited, had taught her to beg and sometimes even lie for money. I tried to hold back tears because it was just another life lesson for these kids. She would not have understood why I was crying. Project Teamwork did not allow us to give the children any money, for obvious reasons, and it broke my heart.

I have always known that material possessions are not as important as faith, hope, love, friendship, loyalty-all of the heart-warming ideas I have been fed since I was a child. But seeing a mother carrying her son on her shoulders, both of them naked for necessity's sake, and both of them happier than all of my rich private school friends, that just made it all too real for me. I have been blessed with many gifts. I have been given musical talents, a strong academic mind, and a compassion for others that so quickly becomes passion. Therefore, I feel that it is my responsibility to share my gifts with others and to use them to their separate and full potentials.

Undergraduate / "You are wearing a mask!"; meaningful event, experience or accomplishment [6]

"Open your eyes! You are wearing a mask! Why are you closing your eyes? Stop flinching at the ball! You know it is coming!" I kneeled down in full catcher's gear with both of my hands behind my back as my middle school softball coach, Coach Spee, threw softballs at my chest, knees, and face. I loved softball, but I did not show respect to my coach on a daily basis. I frequently showed up to practice late or to games without my uniform, and sometimes I ignored his coaching. He had had enough. He would knock the "whiny little punk" right out of me. I hated him for that. But he did it because he saw my potential. He saw that I loved the game and played it that way, and he wanted me to play it with respect too. Coach Spee expected much from every girl on my team, but he took a special interest in me, for whatever reason, and he made me a better person.

For the longest time, I had a real issue with authority. I disrespect to my parents, teachers, and coaches because I thought I knew better than they did. I knew everything. And while, yes, I always mingled among the brightest, I definitely had much to learn. So my coach threw softballs at me over and over again throughout practice. It hurt. Physically, mentally, and emotionally, I ached because I did not deserve this. I had talent, and he had no right.

I kept playing because I loved the game, and he kept "teaching" me those lessons. I now respect Mr. Spee more than anyone else I know, because he taught me that someone always knows more than you, has more talent than you, or works harder than you, and I didn't like that. I wanted those titles. The smartest, the most talented, the hardest working-I wanted people to say those things about me. I worked hard for the things I wanted because I realized that I would not get them any other way, and I ended up playing the whole game as an eighth grader in the high school state championship softball game a year later. However, the lessons Mr. Spee taught me continued to affect my life far beyond the realms of softball.

Because of the passion already ablaze in me, and the respect and determination my coach taught me, I can now attack any obstacle, large or small, with a different perspective. These attributes have given me a new angle from which to approach my studies, my peers, and any other goals I set for myself. When I want something, I will use any fair means at my disposal to attain my goals. I respect the opinions of those who know more than I do, and use their advice to further my excellence.