Uchihaminh04
Jul 23, 2021
Writing Feedback / Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport? Why is that? What can we do to encourage . [3]
U should use the PEEL structure instead
U should use the PEEL structure instead
Uchihaminh04
Jul 23, 2021
Writing Feedback / Many people argue that salary should be the top priority for applying for a position. Do you agree? [3]
I think ur structure is simple, why not using passive voice or sth like that?
I think ur structure is simple, why not using passive voice or sth like that?
Uchihaminh04
Jul 21, 2021
Writing Feedback / Essay task 2: Large companies use sports events to promote their products [3]
@Holt
Thank you very much, i will check that
@Holt
Thank you very much, i will check that
Uchihaminh04
Jul 20, 2021
Writing Feedback / Essay task 2: Large companies use sports events to promote their products [3]
I'm Mien, and i'm gonna have ielts test. Help give feedback to my essays guys, thx all @@
The sight of conglomerates introducing their merchandise through sport events is becoming prevalent. Personally, I am partly agree that it may bring detriments in some cases.
I believe that integrating products into sport events is a win-win situation for both businesses and sportsmens. The primary reason is that advertisers could meet sales targets, thanks to huge viewership of competitions, especially famous ones such as World Cup or NBA. As a result, this practice could help those companies significantly reach their numerous potential customers and boost their sales at ease. Additionally, athletes could also reap the benefits from enormous sponsorship from those brands. To explain, besides devoting time to professional careers, they may have the chance to involve in advertisement projects, leading to improved financial backgrounds. For example, Ronaldo has made a huge profit for being the representative of many brands.
However, I firmly contend that advertising could have severe adverse effects on the performance of athletes. It is commonplace to witness most sponsors of those events advertising unhealthy products, such as Cocacola with sugary drinks or Heineken with beers. As a result, sportsmens might have to endorse their promoters by using those merchandise, which undoubtedly mitigate their physical conditions. Moreover, many youngsters regard those faces as their role models, and what is worse is that they have proclivity to imitate even unacceptable manners. Consequently, a large amount of unhealthy products would be consumed by young generation, leading to a weaker society in the long run.
In conclusion, the involvement of commercial activities in sport events may be beneficial for businesses and athletes. However, this method should be taken into consideration due to its impacts on the players and their followers.
commercial activities in sport events
I'm Mien, and i'm gonna have ielts test. Help give feedback to my essays guys, thx all @@
The sight of conglomerates introducing their merchandise through sport events is becoming prevalent. Personally, I am partly agree that it may bring detriments in some cases.
I believe that integrating products into sport events is a win-win situation for both businesses and sportsmens. The primary reason is that advertisers could meet sales targets, thanks to huge viewership of competitions, especially famous ones such as World Cup or NBA. As a result, this practice could help those companies significantly reach their numerous potential customers and boost their sales at ease. Additionally, athletes could also reap the benefits from enormous sponsorship from those brands. To explain, besides devoting time to professional careers, they may have the chance to involve in advertisement projects, leading to improved financial backgrounds. For example, Ronaldo has made a huge profit for being the representative of many brands.
However, I firmly contend that advertising could have severe adverse effects on the performance of athletes. It is commonplace to witness most sponsors of those events advertising unhealthy products, such as Cocacola with sugary drinks or Heineken with beers. As a result, sportsmens might have to endorse their promoters by using those merchandise, which undoubtedly mitigate their physical conditions. Moreover, many youngsters regard those faces as their role models, and what is worse is that they have proclivity to imitate even unacceptable manners. Consequently, a large amount of unhealthy products would be consumed by young generation, leading to a weaker society in the long run.
In conclusion, the involvement of commercial activities in sport events may be beneficial for businesses and athletes. However, this method should be taken into consideration due to its impacts on the players and their followers.
