When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration
When it comes to choosing a job, there is a wide range of factors affecting this decision. Many people argue that salary should be the top priority for applying for a position. Personally, I completely agree with this view.
On the one hand, I believe that some may select their career choice based on their passion and interest because the job is what they pursue not only one or two days but perhaps for the whole of life. It is true that it is difficult to repeat doing tasks or works that they are not willing to or not having a passion for. For example, a lot of people ,nowadays, are striving to apply for bank officer position due to promising salary levels, then quickly move to another job as the result of not being suitable for such a desk job in the long-run.
Nevertheless, I believe that a high-paying job is still the first option for job-hunters. One reason why job seekers select their careers based on salary level is that a wage plays a vital role in covering basic needs for their living. Everyone needs money to pay for the fundamental necessities of life, such as food, drinks, housing, and health service. That is more important for someone who is viewed as the breadwinner of a family. Furthermore, payment is one of the vital elements in keeping employees motivated in doing a job. Being under the pressure of workloads is a part of every job, and that sort of pressure could turn to a sense of achievement when receiving proportional payment which might encourage workers to do better in the future.
In conclusion, while there are a variety of factors affecting an individual's work choice, I believe that the importance of money outweighs the other motivators.
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The writer's response is improperly presented. Seeing as this is a simple agree or disagree based discussion, a measured response (I completely...) is inappropriate. The response format must always match the discussion presentation requirement. That said, the response will still be accepted and scored on a limited scale due to the formatting error.
The essay is in danger of not achieving a passing score for 2 reasons. The first is an incorrect discussion format and the second, is an underdeveloped response. These reasons go hand in hand.
The writer used a comparative format, meaning the writer found correct reasons for both sides, which results in a non- opinion presentation. The instruction is to choose and explain one side only. The essay will only get a score for an opinion related paragraph as indicated in the opinion sentence in the restatement. All unrelated paragraphs will not recieve a score. The essay, which now lacks a second supporting paragraph, will then be scored as incompletely developed. It may not be a passing score in the end after other deductions are applied.