Writing Feedback / Essay about if information should be public freely or should remain confidential [2]

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.

scientific information - available or not?

We are living in the era of technology which changes so quickly every day. This is because most of updated achievements are shared to public in many manners such as scientific research, business and the academic world. However, some argue that information should be limited to access. I personally believe that people need to approach latest data as much as possible.

On the one hand, sharing information anticipates society developments. In term of science, results uncovered from some findings could be solutions for other fields. Consequently, this helps save not only money and time but also labor force. Additionally, established academic lessons assist students have opportunities to catch up contemporary data, which is beneficial for those who are preparing for their thesis. For example, block chain technology is applied thoroughly in various kinds of industry. By scanning bar code, customers are able to verify all information about the food that they consume, including the origin, quality, dosage of vitamin contained on it. Therefore, I consider that information is necessary to be shown publicly.

On the other hand, there are many sensitive data which must be hidden away from society. Those could be criminal records, personal status or bank account number. For instances, personal phone numbers sometime are collected when we surf the Internet and unfortunately, we are disturbed by advertisements sent to our phone every day, this currently becomes such a big issue. Hence, some people believe that limiting information might be the best remedy for this problem.

In conclusion, even few negative points about publishing data to every body, I still highly encourage to share knowledge to society as long as we are able to well-control sensitive details.

(280 words)

Writing Feedback / The proportion between Australian males and females who did exercise regularly - IELTS 1 - Bar chart [3]

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

IELTS Cambridge 12 - test 5. Writing task 1

THE POPULARITY OF PHYSICAL EXERCISES IN AUSTRALIA

The bar chart compares the proportion between Australian males and females who did exercise regularly among various age groups in 2010.

Overall, the percentage of men who did regular activity in the youngest age group (15 to 24) was larger than women while this figure in the oldest age category (above 65 years old) was almost the same. For middle ages, the given data shows that women exercised more fluently than men.

For male, the proportion hit the peak at 52.8% in the group age 15 to 24, and dropped to 42.2% (for people who were between 25 and 34 years old) before bottomed at 39.5% for the group age 35 to 44. However, this number increased steadily to 46.7% for those who were above 65 years old.

Starting at 47.7% in the youngest group age, the percentage of women who did exercise regularly rose gradually to 52.5% for the ages 35 to 44 and reached the highest at 53.5% in the group age 45 to 54, then remained almost the same level at the group age 55 to 64 before went down to 47.1% in the oldest group age, 65 or above.

(193 words)

Im aiming to get 7.0 in writing. kindly give me your comment. Thanks all.

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