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Posts by Locoluke
Joined: Nov 1, 2009
Last Post: Nov 2, 2009
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Locoluke   
Nov 2, 2009
Undergraduate / 'experience in Venice' - An experience that has changed your life [7]

Avoid using passive voice. "In between rustic houses and buildings run narrow waterways which flow to the Grand Canal" is a good example. Instead, phrase it something like, "Narrow waterways run between rustic houses and buildings, flowing down into the Grand Canal."

In addition, like EF_Kevin said, description is good, but this essay is supposed to be about you and how these experiences have affected you.
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