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Posts by ldt0931117093
Name: Phùng Hải Nam
Joined: Apr 8, 2022
Last Post: Apr 8, 2022
Threads: 1
Posts: 1  
From: Viet Nam
School: Quoc Oai High school

Displayed posts: 2
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ldt0931117093   
Apr 8, 2022
Writing Feedback / IELTS writing task 2 about patriotism. [2]

Some people say patriotism causes problems and is negative overall. Others feel that it is beneficial for society at large.

Do the advantages of patriotism outweigh its disadvantages?



Patriotism is regarded as a must-have characteristic for mankind in any era. However, some people hold the view that it can cause abysmal effects overall, while others believe that it is more of an advantageous trait which overwhelms its downside. From my point of view, I radically agree with the latter statement, which will be elaborated further in my essay.

To begin with, patriotism has some negative effects. It might be abused badly by terrorists by altering residents' attitude on the government. For example, in the past, some communities were poorly educated, residents could be misled by the wrong definition of "patriotism". Terrorists can distort the truth to raise the war against government or make excuses for their illegal activities by patriotism.

However, the upsides of patriotism manifestly outshine its disadvantages. Thanks to the wide uptake of cutting-edge technology, most people are kept posted as well as educated well. Therefore, hardly can patriotism be misinterpreted by people, which nearly obligates its detrimental downside. To illustrate, the daily news can help people to keep track of news about terrorism or bad religions so that they can avoid them. Moreover, patriotism can help the government with managing the country since it strengthens the relationship between government and residents. In addition, should there be any wars in the future, patriotism is the meat and potatoes for victory beside weapons.

In conclusion, although each coin has two sides, it is my conviction that patriotism brings a sweeping range of profit rather than causes detrimental impacts.
ldt0931117093   
Apr 8, 2022
Writing Feedback / Many people suggest that instead of celebrities the media should focus on the public interest [4]

"news relative to celebrities"
you should use "relating" instead of "relatives"
"Ha Noi capital"
Ha Noi is the capital of Vietnam, you should write "Ha Noi,which is the capital of Vietnam,...
.Do not translate every single word into English mechanically.
"where traffic congestion" another wrong use of relative clauses.
There are many grammatical mistakes in your essays. I think you should seek for more information about the way to use relative clauses, present participle, past participle.

Hope my comment can help!
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