Undergraduate / UC Prompt #2 - my experience in raising a baby [5]

try to follow the golden rule of "show don't tell".

having a hook would really help --> maybe try to describe a defining moment. (ex. first time you saw your sister)

also, maybe you could relate it to other aspects of your life -> how did that sense of responsibility help you in other parts of your life?

great start!~

Undergraduate / 'Not an artist myself' - Stanford A Good Place For You (many opportunities) [6]

it would be better to focus on two or three aspects of the school that relates to YOU. don't fit too many because then you start to sound like a brochure. it's good that you provide specific information about the school, but make it relate to YOU. you can integrate your own past experiences to support your points of why those certain characteristics are a perfect fit for YOU! rather than trying to be creative in the delivery, you might want to be creative in your answer. what would be more creative and atypical characteristics you might consider? great start!~

Undergraduate / UC Prompt #1 The key to my world [9]

it's definitely a beautiful essay. the imagery is amazing. but one of the dangers of such a descriptive essay is that is sometimes fails to have enough substance. it's hard to really understand how your world (which you describe wonderfully) actually shaped your dreams of becoming a doctor. try to integrate it in a bit more substantively. a great start~