Undergraduate / Describe the world you come from -APPROPRIATE TOPIC? [3]

Does this make sense and/or any mistakes? I know i still need to work on this. Any help greatly appreciated.

Prompt #1

Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school- and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

"I wish I could be anywhere else but here," i thought to myself. My uncle had plenty to drink and he was really scaring me. I never knew he had such an evil side to him. The road from the race track to my house seemed to take hours by the time it was over. My uncle was furious for losing his whole pay check at the race track, the more he lost, the more he drank. I was telling him to slow down, the truck was running at 60 mph and he was not in the best condition to drive. There was my biggest mistake, pretending to be his father. He lashed out screaming at me and he began to drive like a maniac. When we reached the paying toll at the bay bridge, I was a bit relieved because I knew we were almost home. The relief vanished in seconds when my uncle pulled up to the toll worker, passed the toll worker and had to back up to reach the worker. He payed the four dollars and what happened next made me as pale as the white truck I was riding in, he had forgotten that the truck was in reverse so he stepped on the gas and we went backwards almost hitting the car next in line. He immediately put in drive and sped off, I thought the toll worker would report us and I was expecting the a California Highway Patrol Officer to track us down, but he never came. I was angry at how careless he had been earlier and I made one comment and he lashed out at me again. He yelled and pounded on the seat between us, I had never felt so shallow and disrespected.

Looking back , I have noticed trends in my family with alcohol. Every family party there were family members who drank until literally their bodies could not take in anymore. I know I have a choice to go down the same path, or make my own path. A couple years back I decided to walk down my own path, and my path will pass through work in law enforcement. My success in chemistry has given me the confidence to look into forensic chemistry as a career option. Things never turn out as one plans them out, but for now plan is to study chemistry to become a forensic scientist. I am combining my strengths with my interests. Solving crimes creates justice which is my life goal. Watching some of my relatives drive intoxicated made me angry. Getting rid of drunk-driving completely is unrealistic but helping law enforcement officers lock-up drunk-drivers is a step in the right direction.

Undergraduate / I was going to be alone for most of the summer; Significant life experience [2]

Describe a significant life experience and how it has shaped the person you are today.

I woke up feeling tired from the previous day of practice. My house was empty and it it had just sunk in that I was going to be alone for most of the summer.It was a tough decision, but in the end I chose to play baseball this summer over vissiting my grandparents in Mexico. My mom and my brother left yesterday and were still traveling on a 36 hour bus ride to Mexico. I could have been on that bus but baseball has meant to much to me. Baseball has been more than just a game to me it has been a lifestyle. Year after year I have continued to play and just because the competition in high school has been raised does not mean I am going to give up on the sport.

That summer of 2007 was the longest of my life. Every night I watched the moon, knowing that my brothers in Mexico were watching the same moon. The fist week I felt extremely lonely. My dad was gone from the house working from 6 am to 4 pm, and my mom and brother were enjoying themselves in Mexico. I learned how to depend on myslef and become more independent. Being the first time I was seperated from my mom for more than a couple of days, I had some pretty disgusting breakfasts the first couple of weeks. Everything I tried to cook was either burned tasting like ashes, or not cooked well enough tasting like fresh blood. Eventually I learned to cook decent meals. There was nobody nagging me to clean after myself, which lead to a messy house the first week which that did not have a nice odor to it. I realized why my mom cleaned so much, one can not sleep when an odor roams through the house, it will not let you sleep. I had practices and games all summer, I had to be my own alarm clock now because there was not anyone to tap my shoulder and wake me up or give me a ride. I learned a lot about myslef that summer. I felt mature enough to take on any task and my confidence was higher than the moon than I watched every night that helped me fall asleep. I am an individual that has transfomed into a young adult that has high hopes, big dreams, and plenty of self-motivation.

I know i still need to work on this, but for now any comments? Thank you very much.