Posts by jasmine4

jasmine4

Aug 10, 2022

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 : the media empowering too much attention to the celebrities' personal life [3]

"empowering too much attention to".
"follow the breaking news"
I think these collocation does not exist. Your limited understanding of collocation makes your sentences very confusing.
"both above arguments due to the following examples" -> due to several reasons.
the first sentence of the instruction is a given background, not an argument and you should focus on the latter sentence. You seem to misunderstand the instruction.

The conclusion has no meaning to me. It does not say why the media should focus on ordinary stories. What if the readers' interest is the celeb's private life?

jasmine4

Jul 29, 2022

Writing Feedback / Some people believe that keeping pets is beneficial while others believe that it is a bad idea [5]

Some people believe that keeping pets is beneficial while others believe that it is a bad idea.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In today's society, raising an animal like a dog or cat at home is a norm. While some say having domestic animals brings about merits, others argue the opposite. In my opinion, having pets is an overall positive practice due to the great psychological advantages enjoyed by owners.

On the one hand, it can be argued that having pets should not be favourable for the reason that it can get very unhygienic and different bacteria may enter the house via pets. Because animal brains are basically not as developed as human ones, their level of awareness is accordingly lower. As a result, they can make people's house unclean and dirtier. For example, dogs can roll in the mud outside and step straight into the house, lying on the sofa without knowing that it can irritate the owners. As the outside environment is riddled with all kinds of dangerous bacteria, it is likely that those animals contain some in their bodies and leave some anywhere they go through. Therefore, the worst-case scenario is that humans may contract some diseases from their very own pets.

On the other hand, I believe that keeping pets is still a good choice due to the positive mental state people can obtain from their company. As pets have no judgements or discrimination, people often feel completely relieved around them and can live to their true selves. In addition, since animals can not speak, or at least can not communicate using the language of human beings, they become sympathetic friends with whom humans can have complete confidence to share their deepest feelings. This is no doubt a great relief to the owners and can significantly improve their mental health. Furthermore, exposure to bacteria is proven to actually strengthen our immune system while wild animals are mainly blamed for dangerous viruses, not pets.

In conclusion, while the unhygienic conditions of pets might be a real problem, my own view is that keeping pets should be encouraged for psychological reasons.