Some people believe that keeping pets is beneficial while others believe that it is a bad idea.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In today's society, raising an animal like a dog or cat at home is a norm. While some say having domestic animals brings about merits, others argue the opposite. In my opinion, having pets is an overall positive practice due to the great psychological advantages enjoyed by owners.
On the one hand, it can be argued that having pets should not be favourable for the reason that it can get very unhygienic and different bacteria may enter the house via pets. Because animal brains are basically not as developed as human ones, their level of awareness is accordingly lower. As a result, they can make people's house unclean and dirtier. For example, dogs can roll in the mud outside and step straight into the house, lying on the sofa without knowing that it can irritate the owners. As the outside environment is riddled with all kinds of dangerous bacteria, it is likely that those animals contain some in their bodies and leave some anywhere they go through. Therefore, the worst-case scenario is that humans may contract some diseases from their very own pets.
On the other hand, I believe that keeping pets is still a good choice due to the positive mental state people can obtain from their company. As pets have no judgements or discrimination, people often feel completely relieved around them and can live to their true selves. In addition, since animals can not speak, or at least can not communicate using the language of human beings, they become sympathetic friends with whom humans can have complete confidence to share their deepest feelings. This is no doubt a great relief to the owners and can significantly improve their mental health. Furthermore, exposure to bacteria is proven to actually strengthen our immune system while wild animals are mainly blamed for dangerous viruses, not pets.
In conclusion, while the unhygienic conditions of pets might be a real problem, my own view is that keeping pets should be encouraged for psychological reasons.
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Since the given topic clearly indicates opposing views about the keeping of pets, it is inaccurate for the writer to claim that keeping pets is a norm in our current society. This is a prompt misdirection that has altered the discussion basis of the original presentation. This inaccurate restatement will receive a failing score consideration. This personal opinion should not be the opening sentence of this presentation because of the negative effects in the restatement considerations. It is irrelevant to the given discussion. It should not be there at all. Only the last 2 sentences properly relate to the original discussion considerations.
The lack of proper GRA representation in relation to pronouns have resulted in an essay that only reflects a personal opinion regarding the topic rather than the required comparison of opinions. How does the public view the first opinion? Why? Explain. What is the writer's opinion of the same POV? Why? Explain? These are the questions that should be responded to in each of the paragraphs that discusses the public opinion. Otherwise, the essay will be scored based on an under developed presentation. The need for pronoune usage of the third and first person kind must be stressed throughout this discussion.
there are some words repeated over 3 times. You can use "debated" as a substitue for "agued" and paraphrase "owner" in other ways.
The writing could be a little more formal by opting for more barely used vocabulary. "able, unable, would, could, might" may be used in exchange for "can, can not" in certain cases. Also, pets can be paraphrased to human's beloved friends for instance. The topic sentence in the 2nd paragraph could be more explicit about the following context. FE: Keeping pets is a viable alternative to provide people with a great sense of fulfillment.
In my opinion, having pets is an overall positive practice due to the great psychological advantages enjoyed by owners. You should not use due to here since due to only used for negative intention. Try to say : regarding great psychological advantages ....
As a result, they can make people's house unclean and dirtier.: with respective to grammar, this sentence is oke but about is logical thinking, it is bad.You should use comparative sentence for 2 adj, but it is better for only 1 adj : or dirty or unclean because they support 1 meaning : it is not clean. the task response for body 1 is nice.
However the body 2 has 3 main ideas and none of them were analyzed clearly.