Writing Feedback / Essay about being better for children learn at primary school than learning at secondary school. [3]

If the writer thinks that this trend's benefits overshadow its drawbacks, he'd better build a paragraph of advantages in the 2nd body and state some certain drawbacks first . His paragraph-building is unreasonable.

Writing Feedback / Children should always follow their parents advice to what extent do you agree or disagree with this [3]

The writer forgot to state that he either agrees or disagrees with the idea, as well as the extent (totally agree, partially disagree, etc,...)