Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by kokosi
Name: Kokosi Azaro
Joined: Jan 10, 2023
Last Post: Aug 17, 2023
Threads: 1
Posts: 4  
From: South Africa
School: UNISA

Displayed posts: 5
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kokosi   
Aug 17, 2023
Writing Feedback / Some people say that aging population cause problems, others see benefits of it. Discuss both views [3]

@roadto8writing
The writing is also a bit too passive. For an argumentative essay, I think you need to present a clear thesis statement in your intro. This will then enable you to separate between the arguments (adverse vs. conducive) you're trying to make. Also, in terms of clarity, keep your language simple. I am not sure who is the intended audience for this essay, but some of your sentences are too complex, which makes it hard to follow your train of thought. Like I have seen many moderators in here comment, simple is powerful.
kokosi   
Jan 13, 2023
Undergraduate / To impart knowledge - objectives and how these are appropriate to your long-range goals. [5]

@Lucarian
I would also urge you to be much simpler in your descriptions. Some of your sentences tend to run on. I find that the more simpler you can be (both in language and sentence structure), the more powerful your writing becomes. Remember, you want the reviewers to get your intended meaning in its fullness even if they happen to be reading your essay at 9pm after a long day of work.
kokosi   
Jan 13, 2023
Undergraduate / Software engineering and computer engineering - Waterloo essay [3]

@doris101
I have to agree with Holt as well. The more specific you can be, the better. Show that you're really applying to Waterloo because you want it more than anything. "Strong and innovative program" just doesn't cut it if you don't explain clearly how it fits in with your aspirations. Also, why do you want to go there? How is it different from other colleges?
kokosi   
Jan 10, 2023
Graduate / LBS MBA Personal Statement; what would you contribute to your cohort? Using degree for the future. [3]

London Business School motivation for MBA program



PROMPT: Write a Personal Statement sharing your motivation for undertaking this programme, what would you contribute to your cohort, and how would you use your degree to make a positive impact in your future.

During my over four years tenure at Zeraki, a small digital technology company in Uganda, I have learned many skills, and I am currently an Account Manager. I am mainly responsible for leading the projects, negotiating the contract and ensuring good customer's experience. In one of my previous projects, I had to pioneer the sales of our latest digital product, KotoX, a digital learning platform to support school in creating fun and exciting learning experience for students. One of the challenges I faced was how to convince the school managements to switch from using free platform, like Google Classroom, to paid service. Together with my team, I requested the cooperation of the local government to gather management of schools in the area and to inform the benefits of using our platform for the schools. Moreover, we provided training and free trials to further persuade the schools. As a result, many schools subscribed to KotoX and the same strategy was applied to other areas. Although I have the practical experience in sales, I believe that I need deeper understanding of marketing and sales management, which is why I want to pursue an MBA at London Business School.

The LBS programme offers comprehensive modules in marketing and management. For instance, module Marketing Analytics will help me learn how to utilize big data to understand the market and create the most suitable marketing strategy. Moreover, I would like to take the analytic specialism to help me implement analytical and data-driven approaches in my company to make strategies and policies that emphasize in compelling management of day to day operation. Lastly, the personal leadership journey would enable me to practice my skills as leader and provide me with personal career consultant to work on how to boost my career at Zeraki and beyond.

With my background in Information and Communication Technology (ICT) business, I would like to join Technology, Media and Telecommunication (TMT) Club of LBS. Working for over four years in this sector has given me deep knowledge about ICT ecosystem in Uganda. Through collaboration with local government structure, I have obtained the information about the laws and policies that one should pay attention in order to set up new business in ICT. Moreover, working in wide area of market, from big cities to rural areas, has given me a general idea of the type of market that one could specialize in and the appropriate strategy to succeed. My professional knowledge, combined with practical experience in ICT business, are what I aim to share with the cohort.

The diversity of the campus environment would enable me to network with students with different backgrounds from around the world. By joining TMT club, I would like to expand my knowledge in ICT business by learning about best-practices of ICT in leading global companies. Furthermore, I would also have the opportunity to discuss and share the challenges concerning the development of ICT in each other's country. By doing that, I would be able to gain insight on how to improve the condition of ICT in my country.

Over the next few years, there will be organisational transformation at Zeraki. Due to the slowing growth of B2C market, the company will shift its focus to B2B market. Zeraki will make B2B services, along with digital platforms and products, as the new pillar to maximize revenue's growth. The structure of the company will drastically change, with many resources being relocated according to the company's needs. Zeraki has started to prepare for the change by providing the employees with trainings and workshops related to B2B services. Furthermore, the company has also granted me a funding to pursue my MBA as part of the arrangements to address this expected transformation.

After completing my study, I would like to return and take over the role of Sales and Marketing Manager of B2B Services. Currently, Zeraki relies heavily on telco products for profit, while the development of the digital services have been slow. Using the knowledge and experience from the LBS MBA programme, I would like to create a better marketing strategy for our digital platforms and products. Moreover, I also aim to improve the business process of these products that will maximize the many resources that Zeraki has throughout the country. By doing that, I believe that the company will gain more profits in the future from digital services and set up new reliable revenue streams for the foreseeable future.
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