Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by nakulisbrown
Joined: Nov 11, 2009
Last Post: Nov 22, 2009
Threads: 2
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Displayed posts: 4
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nakulisbrown   
Nov 22, 2009
Undergraduate / My Indian Heritage; Rutgers / diversity (trip to india!) [3]

Rutgers University is a vibrant community of people with a wide variety of backgrounds and experiences. How would you benefit from and contribute to such an environment? Consider variables such as your talents, travels, leadership activities, volunteer services, and cultural experiences. Only personal essays submitted via our website will be considered. You may enter a maximum of 3800 characters including spaces.

The contributions I could make to Rutgers University stem from my culturally varied upbringing. After spending my first four years around Europe, I began public school in Omaha, Nebraska.

A fond memory of my first day remains: a classmate questioned my spelling of "mum", which is "mom" in America; this was the first of many discrepancies which, as I grew, ultimately gave me a more expansive world view than many of my peers. More incongruity arose when my family moved once again, from Nebraska to New Jersey. Even within the nation, the difference between the two societies was as pronounced that between Ireland and Omaha. Massive factories straddling four-lane highways, cities teeming with people scurrying about, pollution the likes of which I had never seen: New Jersey had them all. Nonetheless, just like Omaha, I learned from my environment and acclimatized over time.

What has contributed to my perspective more than anything else, however, is my Indian heritage. Reinforced by my parents, this aspect of my life has always been with me, and juxtaposition with my setting - whether Nebraska or New Jersey - never fails to be an eye-opening experience. One particularly noteworthy example was a vacation to India during the summer before my sophomore year of high school. My parents would not arrive until weeks after my brother and I did, and those weeks were spent being juggled between primarily Hindi-speaking relatives.

Here, my inability to speak Hindi well proved to be a significant obstacle. Immersion in a society driven by an unfamiliar language inhibits interactions, but in turn promotes analysis. Indian society was truly very different from American, and as I spent that vacation observing unfamiliar monuments, eating in unfamiliar restaurants, and communicating with unfamiliar people, I developed a sense of humility. I could grasp a concept that seemed incomprehensible before: there is far more to the world than your present society. Beyond the factories of New Jersey, beyond the vast fields of Omaha, there is still more; and even beyond foreign, incomprehensible, India, there is more.

As such, what I could contribute to the environment in Rutgers University is more than one specific interest or subject; I can use my multiculturalism to connect with new people. Students and teachers alike all come from their own backgrounds, and a fascinating experience exploring my background motivates me to understand others' and explore further. The same concepts of wonder and worldliness that arose from my trip to India drive me to Rutgers, a microcosm of the world. As I find my past cultural experiences invaluable, the diversity on campus will undoubtedly widen my perspective of the world even farther. Needless to say, the more one learns about others, they learn about themselves; as such, Rutgers' variety will also provide more insight into my own life.

Let me know what you think - any feedback would be super appreciated. Thanks!
nakulisbrown   
Nov 22, 2009
Undergraduate / my passion for nursing and things i will do if i actually became one [6]

Ever since i was a child, I always enjoyed and had so much pleasure in helping other people out in whatever difficulty they might have

The first sentence is awkward with "had so much pleasure", I think.
Try:
Ever since my childhood, I greatly enjoyed helping others out with whatever difficulties they may have.

I did not really know what to do what with this passion of mine, but as i grew older I realized that assisting people and making them feel better would be a dream come true if it became my future career. Coming from a country like Africa where so many people are faced with different kind of illnesses with no exact solution about the cure.

The 2nd sentence there needs some punctuation, I think.
Try:
I come from Africa, where many people are faced with different illnesses, but few cures.

I thought it would be a splendid idea if I helped those people and put a smile on their faces. It made sense to me that with a passion like mine, the perfect career will be to become a nurse. When i go to hospitals I sit and observe the nurses. Doing so have assured me that nursing is what i really want to do and doing what I absolutely adore for a career will be an honor. When I get my career I would go to Africa and give back. I will try to set up a clinic there to treat the less privileged. I will also travel around the world to assist the less privileged.

Maybe you could talk about what you observe in nursing, to make it more specific here. Also, the "honor" part is sort of random.

Hope this helps! :)
nakulisbrown   
Nov 22, 2009
Undergraduate / "Money" - UC Prompt #1 [2]

Born in a poor family, both of my parents have to work very hard in order to cover the daily spending. Thus, they are very frugal most of the time such as not wasting food, growing their own vegetables and not spending prodigally. They want to let me know that luxury is not a very important part of our life.

I think your tenses are kinda messed up; born is past, work is present. You said "very" a few times, which you could vary.

Also, they taught me not to squander. When I decide to buy something, I should decide whether it is something I need or something I want.

"Also, they taught me not to squander" is an awkward sentence - you could combine it with the next to make "They also taught me never to squander - to be sure that I truly need anything I choose to buy."

They believe I should work hard or do something in order to earn it. Under their influence, I have learned not to splurge and spend money extravagantly, because I understood that money management is a very important factor in order to become successful. Moreover, I also understand that there is no "free-lunch" in the world. Everything that I want, I had to work hard to get.

"Do something" is very general, you could cut it down to just "work hard."
Maybe change "under their influence" to "under their guidance" or something?

Hope this helped a little :)
nakulisbrown   
Nov 11, 2009
Undergraduate / drexel: digital media [3]

Please review what type of applicant you are and submit a corresponding personal statement (must be at least 250 words). Relate your topic to your interest in digital media.

For as long as I can remember, digital media has been in the forefront of my life. I remember printing out birthday cards for my friends, eagerly waiting for the inkjet printer to cease its whirring so I could proudly showcase my creation. My zeal did not die through high school, where I experimented with other concepts under the broad title of "media" - movies and music. I took to recording bands in a modest basement studio and composing comedic short films. With all these years of interest in mind, I wish to continue my passion as a Digital Media major at Drexel University.

Though they are great influences on my life, my aforementioned home-grown efforts are not the extent of my experience in the digital media field. Since the January of 2009, I have been working as a paid student technician for Lawrence Township's District Media Center. As its name would suggest, this job entails a variety of video and audio-related tasks. One afternoon could be spent taping a soccer game outdoors, while the next could be spent working sound and lights for a production in the auditorium. Through this, I garnered a great deal of practical experience with various cameras and sound equipment. Moreover, I had my first taste of what a career in digital media would be like - and enjoyed every minute of it.

Digital media's beauty lies in the sheer number of different fields and professions it connects to, and my experiences have reaffirmed how exciting it can be. To that end, Drexel's Digital Media program is ideal for me - to build upon past experiences, create new ones, and prepare me for a career in an immersive, digital future.

Any feedback would be greatly appreciated...thanks!
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