lilikim
Jul 15, 2023
Writing Feedback / Turning 13 - special occassion essay [3]
I think you wrote a bit too long. However, I've learnt a lot from yours
I think you wrote a bit too long. However, I've learnt a lot from yours
lilikim
Jul 13, 2023
Writing Feedback / Ielts wrtiting task 1 about the table showing water use for different purposes in four countries [2]
The table gives information on the proportion of water for three different uses in four nations namely Egypt, Saudi Arabica, New Zealand and Canada. The use of water is measured in percentage.
Overall, while Egypt and Saudi Arabica use most of the water for agricultural activities, New Zealand and Canada spend most of it on industrial intentions. Noticeably, the least water is used for domestic purposes in all four countries.
Regarding farming, Egypt spends significantly 82% of water compared to 64% use of Saudi Arabica. Followed by New Zealand with 44% and Canada is in the last position with just 10% as agriculture only accounts for one-tenth of the nation's water consumption.
In terms of industrial activities, Canada becomes the largest user of water in this sector with 70% while the second place is New Zealand consuming 46%. Saudi Arabica and Egypt spend relatively less with 30% and 10% respectively.
Canada uses 20% of water for domestic use, which is exactly double the proportion of New Zealand (10%). Egypt and Saudi Arabica's consumption is moderately lower with 8% and 6% correspondingly.
The table below shows water use for different purposes in four countries.
The table gives information on the proportion of water for three different uses in four nations namely Egypt, Saudi Arabica, New Zealand and Canada. The use of water is measured in percentage.
Overall, while Egypt and Saudi Arabica use most of the water for agricultural activities, New Zealand and Canada spend most of it on industrial intentions. Noticeably, the least water is used for domestic purposes in all four countries.
Regarding farming, Egypt spends significantly 82% of water compared to 64% use of Saudi Arabica. Followed by New Zealand with 44% and Canada is in the last position with just 10% as agriculture only accounts for one-tenth of the nation's water consumption.
In terms of industrial activities, Canada becomes the largest user of water in this sector with 70% while the second place is New Zealand consuming 46%. Saudi Arabica and Egypt spend relatively less with 30% and 10% respectively.
Canada uses 20% of water for domestic use, which is exactly double the proportion of New Zealand (10%). Egypt and Saudi Arabica's consumption is moderately lower with 8% and 6% correspondingly.
giaideieltswritin.jpg
lilikim
Jul 13, 2023
Writing Feedback / Writing IELTS task1: how elderly people in the United States spent their free time [4]
I've learnt a lot from this! The organisation and the amount of data illustrated are so good as I can picture the graph myself by reading the essay
I've learnt a lot from this! The organisation and the amount of data illustrated are so good as I can picture the graph myself by reading the essay
lilikim
Jul 13, 2023
Writing Feedback / Ielts writing task 1 about the proportion of types of magazines sold by the company [2]
Topic:
My answer:
The bar chart illustrates the percentage of kinds of magazines sold by the company between 1975 and 2015.
Overall, the sports magazine was the best-selling publication of the company as it was the only category portrayed a steady increase. However, fashion and neighbor chocolate magazines were in the opposite situation. Food and others type both showed a palpitation with their peaks recorded in 1995.
The preference for sports magazine saw a yearly growth evidenced by roughly 32% in 1975 to 42% in 2015. Interestingly, sports always triumphed over other types of magazines as shown on the chart, in which annual sale of this kind was approximately 2,5 times higher than the rest.
Regarding fashion genres with a downward trend, from 23% sales at the beginning, it dramatically sank to the lowest point of only 5% becoming the least favorite publication. At the same time, neighbor chocolate only moderately dropped from 26% in the first year to a plateau of 20% from 1995 to 2015.
Referring to rest, they fluctuated over the years with the same pattern. Food and unspecified genres both reached their selling peaks in 1995 with about 23% and 32% respectively. Furthermore, their sales in 1975 and 2015 in each category were equivalent followed by 10% for food and about 21% for other types.
If possible, can you give me an estimated band score for this piece of writing? Thank you so much!
Topic:
The graph below shows the proportion of types of magazines sold by the company in 1975, 1995 and 2015.
My answer:
The bar chart illustrates the percentage of kinds of magazines sold by the company between 1975 and 2015.
Overall, the sports magazine was the best-selling publication of the company as it was the only category portrayed a steady increase. However, fashion and neighbor chocolate magazines were in the opposite situation. Food and others type both showed a palpitation with their peaks recorded in 1995.
The preference for sports magazine saw a yearly growth evidenced by roughly 32% in 1975 to 42% in 2015. Interestingly, sports always triumphed over other types of magazines as shown on the chart, in which annual sale of this kind was approximately 2,5 times higher than the rest.
Regarding fashion genres with a downward trend, from 23% sales at the beginning, it dramatically sank to the lowest point of only 5% becoming the least favorite publication. At the same time, neighbor chocolate only moderately dropped from 26% in the first year to a plateau of 20% from 1995 to 2015.
Referring to rest, they fluctuated over the years with the same pattern. Food and unspecified genres both reached their selling peaks in 1995 with about 23% and 32% respectively. Furthermore, their sales in 1975 and 2015 in each category were equivalent followed by 10% for food and about 21% for other types.
If possible, can you give me an estimated band score for this piece of writing? Thank you so much!
giaideieltswritin.jpg
lilikim
Jul 13, 2023
Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 1 - Main reasons for teenagers in an African country using their phone 2016-2019 [4]
I think you should write more about the largest reason why teens use their phones rather than just a sentence mentioned it. However, I've learnt a lot from yours!
I think you should write more about the largest reason why teens use their phones rather than just a sentence mentioned it. However, I've learnt a lot from yours!
lilikim
Jul 13, 2023
Writing Feedback / Task 1: Line graph: the usage of oil in four different countries from 1966 to 2006 [5]
I think you should replace the phrase At first glance into something else. However, I've learnt a lot from yours!
I think you should replace the phrase At first glance into something else. However, I've learnt a lot from yours!
lilikim
Jul 13, 2023
Writing Feedback / Ielts writing task 1 about a performance of a bus company [3]
If possible, can you give me an estimated band score for my writing? Thank you so much!
If possible, can you give me an estimated band score for my writing? Thank you so much!
lilikim
Jul 11, 2023
Writing Feedback / Ielts writing task 1 about a performance of a bus company [3]
The charts below show the performance of a bus company in terms of punctuality, both actual and target (what actually happened compared to what the company was trying to achieve), and the number of complaints from passengers.
My answer:
The first chart illustrates the performance of a bus company when it comes to punctuality in reality and targeted plans from 1999 to 2003, while the second chart portrays the number of complaints the company received in the same period.
Overall, the company did not achieve their aims despite lowering the targets after every year except for 2003. Additionally, the number of passengers complaining also grew annually in these years.
In the first two years, they targeted at 86% of punctuality, however, the results are only about 85% and 82% respectively. Therefore, they lowered the plans to 85% of services arriving on time in the next two years but still failed to meet their expectations by falling short by approximately 1%. By 2003, the company exceeded their aim of roughly 84% buses to be punctual with 85% of that in actual.
Regarding the number of complaints, at the start they only received about 70 thousand, however it gradually increased to reach approximately 130 thousand in the final year in spite of a slight drop to 100 thousand in 2001. It is interesting to note that in 2003, when the company surpassed their goals, they also underwent the highest level of complaints.
Topic:
The charts below show the performance of a bus company in terms of punctuality, both actual and target (what actually happened compared to what the company was trying to achieve), and the number of complaints from passengers.
My answer:
The first chart illustrates the performance of a bus company when it comes to punctuality in reality and targeted plans from 1999 to 2003, while the second chart portrays the number of complaints the company received in the same period.
Overall, the company did not achieve their aims despite lowering the targets after every year except for 2003. Additionally, the number of passengers complaining also grew annually in these years.
In the first two years, they targeted at 86% of punctuality, however, the results are only about 85% and 82% respectively. Therefore, they lowered the plans to 85% of services arriving on time in the next two years but still failed to meet their expectations by falling short by approximately 1%. By 2003, the company exceeded their aim of roughly 84% buses to be punctual with 85% of that in actual.
Regarding the number of complaints, at the start they only received about 70 thousand, however it gradually increased to reach approximately 130 thousand in the final year in spite of a slight drop to 100 thousand in 2001. It is interesting to note that in 2003, when the company surpassed their goals, they also underwent the highest level of complaints.