Unanswered [18] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2


Ielts wrtiting task 1 about the table showing water use for different purposes in four countries


lilikim 3 / 5  
Jul 13, 2023   #1

The table below shows water use for different purposes in four countries.



The table gives information on the proportion of water for three different uses in four nations namely Egypt, Saudi Arabica, New Zealand and Canada. The use of water is measured in percentage.

Overall, while Egypt and Saudi Arabica use most of the water for agricultural activities, New Zealand and Canada spend most of it on industrial intentions. Noticeably, the least water is used for domestic purposes in all four countries.

Regarding farming, Egypt spends significantly 82% of water compared to 64% use of Saudi Arabica. Followed by New Zealand with 44% and Canada is in the last position with just 10% as agriculture only accounts for one-tenth of the nation's water consumption.

In terms of industrial activities, Canada becomes the largest user of water in this sector with 70% while the second place is New Zealand consuming 46%. Saudi Arabica and Egypt spend relatively less with 30% and 10% respectively.

Canada uses 20% of water for domestic use, which is exactly double the proportion of New Zealand (10%). Egypt and Saudi Arabica's consumption is moderately lower with 8% and 6% correspondingly.



Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,648 4752  
Jul 14, 2023   #2
Aside from a few run-on sentences here and there, the sentences provided are informative and based on accurate information. The examiner would have expected to see a better mix of punctuation mark usage and sentence structures though. Try to focus on more sentence variation in your next presentation so that you can score better in the C+C and GRA sections. Your LR use is intermediate, which means you will get a good score in that section.

In terms of analysis, the essay comes across as merely reporting the information. There analysis aspects is a bit too short and lacking in highlightable presentation. You have to make sure that you use a less mechanical and more insightful tone in the presentation. Be insightful, but do not offer any personal opinions as those are not allowed in task 1 writing.


Home / Writing Feedback / Ielts wrtiting task 1 about the table showing water use for different purposes in four countries
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳