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Posts by GracefulRoseThor [Suspended]
Name: Grace Raghunath
Joined: Sep 25, 2023
Last Post: Sep 25, 2023
Threads: 1
Posts: 2  
From: United States of America
School: California College

Displayed posts: 3
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GracefulRoseThor   
Sep 25, 2023
Writing Feedback / Benefits and drawbacks of sharing information [3]

@TryToWrite
I think you could potentially cut the two body paragraphs in half and combine that to make a third, making it more structured.
GracefulRoseThor   
Sep 25, 2023
Undergraduate / Statement Of Intent for School of Visual Arts BFA Fine Arts [NEW]

Summary: Hello! I am trying to transfer to the School of Visual arts in New York and we are required to make a 500 word statement of intent. Any critiques or feedback? Thanks!

Drip. Drip. Drip.


The remains of the early morning rainstorm fell from the roof of the coffee shop to the wet cement outside. An early-teenaged me cringed at the coffee that I had been given. I stood outside the door and looked back at my parents as they screamed at each other. I never paid any mind to the furious words escaping them, but I could never ignore the shouting. In a vain attempt to get a moment of peace, I went back into the building, the faint voices of my mom and dad were heard loud and clear through the wooden door. I clutched my small spiral notebook in my arm and walked up to the counter, coffee in hand.

It took an indescribable amount of courage for me to tell the teenage barista that I had ordered a hot chocolate and not the mysterious drink I was given. He apologized and took the cup before he began to make my actual drink. I looked around the building from the edge of the counter. Complete emptiness except for the two of us. The occasional stirring of the machinery blanketed my parent's voices. I stared at the notebook in front of me and began scribbling. That is when he spoke.

"Are you gonna see that new Spiderman movie?" He asked. I nodded. I knew what he was doing. He was trying to distract me from my parents, but it did not work. I just stared at the awful pencil sketch of Spiderman in my book. I pretended to listen as he rambled on about how cool he thought the newest Avengers film was and how he liked my drawing.

That is what got my attention. It was the first time anyone outside my family told me they liked my art. I was flattered and stunned. I looked up at his pimple-ridden face took my hot chocolate and left. I kept drawing during the bumpy car ride. I kept drawing at the kitchen table. I drew during my breaks at school and after I finished my homework. I drew flipbooks in the corners of notebooks and began painting with watercolors while my parents still argued I never stopped and I do not intend to anytime soon.

I wish to pursue a BFA in animation because I want to create. I want to make stories real and tell them to the world. Visual arts have always been a passion of mine. Ever since I could I pursued it with affectionate dedication. My ambition to be an animator is one of my greatest strengths and I can see the School of Visual Arts helping me achieve each and every one of my goals. I was born and raised in New York and I believe that the inspiration there, and therefore at the SVA is wonderfully distinctive and is where I could find my most potential. I can see myself obtaining more experience and skills in my artistic abilities than I have before.
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