Scholarship / Is this full of babbling? GKS 2024/ Undergraduate Scholarship - LANGUAGE STUDIES BEFORE AND AFTER [3]

Your essay is quite good. I don't know that why you are writitng the language plan ( whether for GKS or for admission in Korean university). But still your mention of background is good. However, you should also tell about more specific things you will be doing for improving your Korean language. And as you said that you are able to understand 60% Korean prayer. Then, my advice is even if you don't have any topik score. Write your essay in Korean Language. ( specially if you are applying for any shcolarship like GKS and other) And if there is any interview on this statement will be there. Then, try to talk in Korean only. It will give you a knack above others and you will be prioritized bcz of your understanding of Korean language. Also, try to mention how much you know the lanuguage on a numeric scale (like your TOPIK score, if you had or any general thing from which they can know about your ability). On the last note, when you have mentioned that writing korean is your weakness. Please don't state it with the word weakness. Make it look positive and not the negative. That means, Write something like, i still have to flourish/ work on/ enhance my Korean writing skills and then state the things or your statergies how you will improve the writing skills. Make sure to attatch TOPIK certificate if you have any. All the Best!

Undergraduate / Gks Undergraduate Essay; I have been deeply intrigued by the world of business [3]

Hello, i am aware of the GKS-UG guidlenes. I read your essay and let me give you my honest feedback.
#by motivation with which you apply for this program means why you want to study that particular major, why you want to study in korea, and why that major in korea.

--> You have mentioned that you have interest in business world but didn't mentioned how you got interest in it.
--> The fact that you stated " Growing up in a family with limited formal education" doesn't justifies the exact reason you said " I have witnessed the challenges and opportunities that entrepreneurship can offer firsthand." State a releavant reason for it what exactly about your family's limited education helped you to have interest in business.

--> you don't state this "My family's background has instilled in me a strong work ethic and a deep appreciation for the value of education" its consuming your space and i far as i know you just have 2 pages to write it and there is a lot more things you need to cover in your statement.

--> In the 3rd para, you can write like, Managing my family business, inspired me to have a career in the business world and so. Then mention what this experience of managing taught you and shaped your skills in detail as much possible.

--> In the next paragraph, your mention about your step father is not necessary you can just simply continue about the books you read to shape your passion.

--> In the 2nd last para, the sentence in which you tell what have you gained (skills) mention that along with your experience of managing your family business.

--> honestly, your conclusion is very bad. Because in conclusion you don't have to mention every incidence again. Just write it collectively as challenges or experiences and then state what you wan to tell them like what/how these experiences did to you.

Now let's talk about your content efficiency.
1. you didn't about the motivation for south korea in particular.
2. you didn't mentioned anything related to your major you want to purse. Hence this essay will get rejected at the first glance itself.
3. If possible or applicable describe in more detial why you have interest in business only.
4. They have also asked for your education background which they have mentioned in the instructions itself. The student who doesn't follow the instruction will be rejected. So try to mention about that too (high School)

5. You also haven't mentioned about any extra-curricular activites. Think about them and plz must must add those stuffs in it.

If you don't have any clue just go and search on google how to write an SOP or Personal statements (not compulsory that you have to watch for South Korea only). You will get an rough estimate on what to include and what not to. Hope this helps you. Hurry UP the deadline is near, I guess both for embassy and unversity tracks. Onw more thing, if you are applying through university track make sure you mention about that unviersity too. That why you choose that particular uni out of all. All the BEst!