Piperskm
Oct 20, 2023
Writing Feedback / Essay about separate education for students with different academic levels [4]
You have written a good essay but you can make the following amendments
Your introduction is clear and provides a good overview of the issue. However, it could be improved by adding a sentence that outlines the main points you will cover in the body of the essay. This can provide readers with a roadmap for what to expect.
In the first body paragraph, you discuss the benefits of selecting students based on academic abilities. You make valid points about how this can create an environment where both high-achieving and struggling students can excel. However, it would be helpful to provide some evidence or examples to support your claims.
In the second body paragraph, you discuss the benefits of students with different abilities studying together. You provide good examples of how this can lead to knowledge exchange and well-rounded development. To strengthen your argument, you can also mention the benefits of diversity and inclusivity in educational settings, which can prepare students for a diverse world.
It's important to consider potential drawbacks or challenges of each approach. While your essay is focused on the positive aspects, acknowledging potential downsides would make your argument more balanced.
You have written a good essay but you can make the following amendments
Your introduction is clear and provides a good overview of the issue. However, it could be improved by adding a sentence that outlines the main points you will cover in the body of the essay. This can provide readers with a roadmap for what to expect.
In the first body paragraph, you discuss the benefits of selecting students based on academic abilities. You make valid points about how this can create an environment where both high-achieving and struggling students can excel. However, it would be helpful to provide some evidence or examples to support your claims.
In the second body paragraph, you discuss the benefits of students with different abilities studying together. You provide good examples of how this can lead to knowledge exchange and well-rounded development. To strengthen your argument, you can also mention the benefits of diversity and inclusivity in educational settings, which can prepare students for a diverse world.
It's important to consider potential drawbacks or challenges of each approach. While your essay is focused on the positive aspects, acknowledging potential downsides would make your argument more balanced.
