Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 1: bar chart about computer ownership [2]

computer ownership stats

Task 1: The graphs below give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by the level of education for the years 2002 and 2010.

The bar charts depict the percentage of computer ownership in terms of population and educational level in an eight-year period, starting from 2002.

Generally, both the proportion of computer possession by population and level of education witnessed an upward trajectory throughout the given period. Additionally, regarding the educational background, people with no high school diploma possessed the least percentage of computers, while the opposite was recorded in the figure of those having postgraduate qualifications.

Concerning the data of people owning computers based on the population, approximately 60% of the population possessed computers in 2002. During the next eight years, this proportion experienced a considerable growth until reaching its highest point at around 75% in 2010.

Regarding the statistics of the other criteria, people under university level owned nearly a quarter percent (no high school diploma) and 70% ( high school graduates) correspondingly. Compared to those who had not completed their college courses with 80% of computer ownership, people having different kinds of qualifications, in particular bachelor's and post graduate's degree possessed nearly 100%.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2 - topic about crime prediction [3]

Task 2: Scientists believe that by studying the behavior of 3-year-old children, people can predict if those children can become criminals in the future.

To what extent is crime a product of human nature? Is it possible to stop children from growing to be a criminal?

[b]Research on the behavior of 3-year-old children is believed to be beneficial in predicting those children's likelihood to become criminals in the future. In my stance, crime could not be determined by genetics. Besides, there are some possible proposals to mitigate the trend of youngsters committing crimes in their adulthood.

To begin with, studying behavior of people when they are 3 years old could not assure that they would be criminals later on in life since their behavioral patterns are greatly influenced by life conditions. In other words, adversity in childhood is more likely to contribute to a child's crime in the future in lieu of their human nature. Specifically, household dysfunction may gradually form negative thinking and aggressive characteristics which would motivate juveniles to commit crime in their adulthood. Additionally, a vast majority of juvenile delinquency is rooted in poverty and the deficiency of proper education. As a matter of fact, people' behavior may alter through time depending on their external living environment. Therefore, early projection of a child's tendency to become criminals is irrational from my viewpoint.

Nevertheless, the cooperation between parents and the authorities may be helpful to mitigate the rate of juvenile delinquency. Initially, parents should be educated on how to be decent caregivers. It is of significance for parents to provide stable upbringings and a supportive familial environment to their children. The implication of this is that youngsters could be able to develop comprehensively without any mental illness that might be their crime motivation. Furthermore, the states ought to make crime and law-related lessons obligatory in school curriculum since education would act as a beneficial crime deterrent. As a result, children could be aware of the consequences of committing illegal activities and thereby minimizing their likelihood to become criminals in the future.

In conclusion, it remains steadfast in my belief that rather than human nature, crime is more likely to spring from people' external living conditions. Hence, I contend that the governments and the children' parents could bear the main responsibility to prevent youngsters growing up to be criminals.