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IELTS Writing Task 1: bar chart about computer ownership

nghn_thyyannh 2 / 3 1  
Nov 4, 2023   #1

computer ownership stats

Task 1: The graphs below give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by the level of education for the years 2002 and 2010.

The bar charts depict the percentage of computer ownership in terms of population and educational level in an eight-year period, starting from 2002.

Generally, both the proportion of computer possession by population and level of education witnessed an upward trajectory throughout the given period. Additionally, regarding the educational background, people with no high school diploma possessed the least percentage of computers, while the opposite was recorded in the figure of those having postgraduate qualifications.

Concerning the data of people owning computers based on the population, approximately 60% of the population possessed computers in 2002. During the next eight years, this proportion experienced a considerable growth until reaching its highest point at around 75% in 2010.

Regarding the statistics of the other criteria, people under university level owned nearly a quarter percent (no high school diploma) and 70% ( high school graduates) correspondingly. Compared to those who had not completed their college courses with 80% of computer ownership, people having different kinds of qualifications, in particular bachelor's and post graduate's degree possessed nearly 100%.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,941 4806  
Nov 19, 2023   #2
The writer has a relaxed and comfortable writing style. Reading it made me feel as if you just took it easy and knew what you were doing when you were drafting the report. It is that ease of writing that is also the downfall of this essay. You summarized too much information in the final version that you presented to the point where the reader would end up guessing where information belonged and how it fit into the charts There is no indicator of how many bar charts were in play for the report, considering that the writer used the plural form of bar to represent the image. He should have been more specific in 2 instances, the number of images, and the beginning and ending year of the measurements. Both of which were errors in the summary overview.

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