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Posts by Haohao0719
Name: Hoang Hao
Joined: Nov 25, 2023
Last Post: Dec 27, 2023
Threads: 2
Posts: 2  
Likes: 1
From: Viet Nam

Displayed posts: 4
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Haohao0719   
Dec 27, 2023
Writing Feedback / Some people think that young people should spend free time with families [3]

Some people think that young people should spend free time with families instead of outside entertainment, others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

These days, there are many types of entertainment developed and the young generation tend to allocate spare time for outdoor recreational activities with friends rather than their parents. While some people disagree with this trend, I believe that it is beneficial to some extent.

On the one hand, It is true that the youth should concentrate their time on outdoor leisures with friends for many reasons. To begin with, they may stand a higher chance to meet and communicate with many people in many cases such as discussing their studies, their tasks at work or even for relaxing. Thus it is beneficial to improve their communication skills as well as other necessary skills such as negotiation, problem-solving skills. Additionally, In recent years, young people are likely to spend more weekend time in incredible outdoor activities like trekking, cycling, mountain climbing.., which helps not only to enhance their fitness level but also stave off depression and recharge energy for upcoming weeks.

On the other hand, young people should spend leisure time with their parents for some reasons. Firstly, family activities such as throwing a party or going on a picnic with parents at the weekend help promote family bonding. Since family's occasions encourage members to communicate and share something in common, it develops deep understanding between members, then improves parent-child relationships as well as reduces generation gaps. Secondly, the youth can learn many household skills through taking part in activities of their parents. For example, the girl can improve cooking skills by helping mother to hold a party at home. These skills are very essential for young people to develop their parents in the future.

To conclude, spending free time for families or outside entertainment have benefits to some extent. However, I do believe that outdoor activities with their friends should be more taken into account as it is beneficial to their social skills development. To specify, just find a bridge between child's interest and parent activities such as having many short trip together that can both improve family relationships and meet young people's interest
Haohao0719   
Dec 14, 2023
Writing Feedback / WRITING TASK 2: IN MANY COUNTRIES AROUND THE WORLD, LIFE EXPECTANCY IS INCREASING [3]

The overview does not reply to the request of the topic. It would be better to present the advantages and disadvantages with balanced views.
By the way, you should practice not using acronyms in your essay.
The supporting ideas of the first disadvantage seem to lack cohesion. The effect of the increase of longevity raising the pressure on social care should be presented, such as the health care system bears a burden of taking care of the elderly because old people may have a weak immune system,.... After that, the effect should be presented like the government may struggle with increasing the cost of the healthcare system,...

Here is my feedback, the remained ideas should threshed out similar with the structure that I have advised at the first main idea. Your essay will be more coherent

Please take my advice
Haohao0719   
Dec 12, 2023
Writing Feedback / Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. [3]

The overview is quite good as it shows the outline and what you will present for the whole essay. However, the 3rd sentence means your essays will focus on expanding knowledge, not connecting people of different cultures and ages together.

The supporting ideas for the statement "music gives a chance for people around the world to approach different cultures" are not relevant. "There was a large number of fans of these two types of music" but what did music do to connect them together? I think this idea should be threshed out
Haohao0719   
Nov 25, 2023
Writing Feedback / Writing task 2: The increase in the production on the natural environment [2]

Topic: The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What can be done to solve this problem?
There are a number of factors that explain why the growth in producing consumer products harms the natural environment. However, this issue can be resolved by adopting a number of solutions, as will now be discussed.

It is true that the natural ecosystem gets worse as the harmful impacts of industrial activities. To begin with, the expansion of manufacturing demands more land to build the factories. This may require destroying the green spaces to make room for the factories which negatively affect the quality of atmosphere. Secondly, As more goods are produced, more toxic materials and gasses are burned and released to the atmosphere such as carbon dioxide and methane. Because the gasses are able to absorb radiation from the sun, they have a direct impact on the temperature of the planet. The global warming consequences result in rising sea levels, an increase in tsunamis, typhoons, which damage property and life of many people in the world. In addition, factories is the major contributing factor of water and air pollution as the increase in production produces more waste to the planet. If they are not recycled, these products can remain as waste for thousands of years, posing a threat to the living habitats of all creatures

Actions must be taken to minimize the devastating impacts on the natural environment from increasing the production of consumer goods. Firstly, companies should allocate funds for investing in solar energy systems, which help reduce the amount of fuel and electricity consumption, then decrease toxic emissions, which can improve global warming issues. Additionally, developing new product models with eco-friendly functions such as re-use, recycling easier should be taken into account. This improvement is beneficial to decrease the amount of trash for the ecosystems, reduce air and water pollution concerns which contribute to a healthier earth.

In conclusion, It is true that the raising in the production of consumer products poses several adverse influences on the ecosystems. However, various measures can be taken to solve the problems that are certain to arise as the production of goods rises.
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