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Posts by Fidelis
Joined: Nov 18, 2009
Last Post: Dec 16, 2009
Threads: 1
Posts: 11  

From: Kenya

Displayed posts: 12
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Dec 16, 2009
Graduate / LSE application, for Dev Studies, personal statement [13]

Hey, Smith thanks for comments. Please see whether I have addressed them. All. please see my revised version. I would appreciate comments, suggestions, critic etc. Thanks
Dec 16, 2009
Graduate / LSE International Relations grad essay - correct [5]

Hey deepsea,

I think your essay is quite good. However, you will need to focus on 1 or 2 experiences/achievements since the way it is now there is just too many such the reader gets lost. you may also need to think whether you need to mention achievements dating back to high school or just concentrate on more recent experiences. I have made some few changes on the version below. Please read mine as well. Thanks

Being a 21st century modern immigrant prepares one for crossing boundaries. Be it national borders, personal limits or sport competitions, I am always looking for the next step. As the eldest son in my family, I have been helping and taking care of my two brothers from childhood. Our strongest tie is what fuels our family: sports and internationalism. Due to my parents immigration to the US, I have been brought up both around Budapest and Boston; attended two middle schools, graduated from two high schools and am graduating from two universities. Being a double "citizen" of both EU and US, I have learned to be open and receptive towards cultural differences. Studying management and mandarin, my goal is to orient towards the Orient and bring the western business culture closer to China. LSE's international relations and global media programs are academically and personally fit to my goals.

As an active and energetic child, I have learnt English and German early on, played violin, piano and years of guitar while devoting most of my energy to sports. My athlete background provide the foundations of my versatility and perspective: the ascetic trainings and competitive spirit of competitions now transform into academic tenacity. I achieved dozens of medals in cycling, skiing and tennis. Skiing has exposed me to crossing national boundaries and personal limits, as I became a national champion in 2002 and competed on the Hungarian National Team around Europe in F.I.S. junior international tournaments. From the winter cold, I spent hot summer days playing tennis, reaching All-Stars on a US high school team and worked as a certified instructor in Boston. Teaching young children and adults, I realized giving back to and empowering others is a fulfilling experience.

Academically, I have been accustomed to heavier workloads than my peers early on. In 5th grade I studied one year in Baltimore and became a Boy scoutboyscout as my parents did their doctoral fellowships. Later I parallel finished high school in EU and US, traveling back and forth each year. I graduated in the US and applied to colleges, thean choose to continue my studies in Hungary. During my first year as a BSc management major, I got involved in the world's third largest NGO and largest student organization, AIESEC. This opportunity led me to learn more about cultures, negotiating with partner companies and interacting with foreigners while attending conferences in Belgium and managing events in Budapest. As a sophomore, I started my second BA degree majoring in East Asian studies, specializing in Chinese translation at the oldest university in the country. I chose Chinese due to my astuteness in languages and interest in one of the oldest civilizations. As my second eastern language I study Mongolian. While on scholarship at USC Marshall in Los Angeles the next year, I furthered my knowledge with global management courses and Chinese language. I also published articles at the USC China Institute and attended Chinese related events in LA.

Professionally, I have worked since early high school years, instructing tennis in the summer. Apart from community works, I developed a website for a Harvard professor's development project in Kosovo. In Los Angeles, I interned a semester for Sony Pictures, under Columbia Picture learning about films and marketing. The creative affairs department, where I worked was responsible for all movie music related issues, thus I got exposed to how the movie business deals with artist and album promotion and soundtrack selection.

My joint-internship with the Central Intelligence Agency has provided more international exposure, as I helped the agency recruit applicants and advertise the CIA around LA. I developed our communications platform and ads. Working for a governmental institutions (incomplete thought)

After, I got accepted to work in Beijing at the American Chamber of Commerce in China. My goal, to further my mandarin skills and knowledge about China from a business perspective became fruitful. I met distinguished speakers, ambassadors, helped at the Chamber's events, managed the digital communications, edited videos and pod casts. The opportunity to work for a major China related business source has been eye-opening and made me a sinophile, more passionate about international relations and China. I realized that experts being able to bridge cultural gaps between nations, having flexibility, global background and language skills are increasingly important in solving globalisation and international conflicts.

Apart from sports, I consider my academic achievements my major accomplishment. Last year, I completed three universities simultaneously, on two continents. Although the academic rigour is stringent, I am happy to be educated and my passion lies in my studies. My international interest comprises my hobbies. I created short videos and pictures online on my personal website and worked in the fashion industry. To be creative and produce permanent works is important to me. I also like to travel, having driven across the US four times and been to most of Europe.

Due to my work experience and interests, specializations in business communications and Chinese, furthering my studies on a world class level at LSE is my goal. I would like to contribute to cross cultural development and use my unique life experiences to make a difference on a larger scale. LSE's joint programs with China are natural fit for me, as I have experience and interest both in International Relations and Global Communications. My current two thesis dealing with digital branding in China and contrasting Confucianism and modern society in the PRC relate to graduate school curriculum. I would be able to publish and research more at LSE, and contribute to the school and international community in an international way.

As having experienced Beijing and China, I know that Peking University and Fudan are leading institutions in the country. My double degree equip me with skills needed to perform well in a world class graduate program such as LSE. I consider international relations and cross cultural communications becoming more and more critical to world stability in the future.
Dec 16, 2009
Graduate / Study on "MA in Public Policy" - personal statement [6]

Hey Tair,

I managed to read your essay and must say it is a good one.. Had a few comments though. I have copied it here.. Please do me a favour and read mine as well. Thanks
Dec 1, 2009
Graduate / Review of an essay for joint BA/MA degree at Monterey Institute of Intl. Studies [4]

Hi Jason,

I managed to read your essay and I think it reads very well. Had a few comments though. I tried to help you reduce and only got to 637 words, some work still needs to be done to get to 600 or less: Sadly, my track changes didn't work when I pasted the essay, so you just have to read through. Perhpas you may also want to consult whether your participation in the uprising will be something that works against you or not.. I like the 1st para but was thinking you could merging with the 2nd and then the line about MIIS and the programmes can come much later... what do you think? I also think in the 3rd para.. the 2nd last sentence you should revise it, it is abit verbose same as the last par especially the last sentence.

Hope this helps...
Nov 18, 2009
Graduate / LSE application, for Dev Studies, personal statement [13]

Personal statement

As the plane touched down my anxiety was quickly turned to disappointment. Apart from the neglected airstrip, malnourished and impoverished looking children amazed by the plane the rest was just plain grasslands. I could finally relate to the statistics that South Sudan is the most underdeveloped part of the world, recording the worst social indicators. I had travelled to remote parts of Kenya and had imagined that was the worst there was of poverty but I got a rude shock. My disappointment quickly turned to anguish as it occurred to me that Sudan was among the richest countries in Africa because of oil. The two decades of war had left the country seriously underdeveloped. I had never seen such hopelessness in people's faces and untold suffering. They had been forced to rely entirely on aid since they could not even access basic services.

This being only one experience, history repeated itself when I travelled to rural villages in Democratic Republic of Congo, Burundi and Uganda to document the impact of our loan revolving projects on women's empowerment. The similarities of these countries with Kenya dawned on me. This intrigued me, how Africa as a continent is vast and different, yet united by one common theme - poverty, inequality and injustice. Intrinsically, the three aspects are the main causes of underdevelopment in Africa coupled with poor leadership. This was the first time I felt the urge to contribute in developing Africa and decided to pursue development studies as a career.

As an African woman, I dream of a continent with self reliant people, recognizing that it is possible to unyoke the continent from the chains of underdevelopment. Besides, my parents influenced my understanding that it was possible to overcome poverty through determination and hardwork. I find development in particular in developing countries to be exquisitely challenging, stimulating, and generally gratifying. The aspiration to be part of development think tanks in Africa is assuming an enormous responsibility and this helps to keep me focused and committed to the course. The versatility and challenges of development work has renewed my goal of attending graduate school, to deepen my understandings on theories and concepts and the application of the same. I also plan to improve my research skills as I have realized that they are pertinent in my field.

Professionally, I have worked for international relief and development organizations for over the last ten years. The progressive positions enabled me to develop leadership and management skills. As well as coordination and representation skills. I also become more responsible in my decisions and judgments. In addition, these experiences have helped me to better realize how much I enjoy learning and challenging myself. I also enjoy researching new information and sharing with development organizations.

Moreover, my interest in development studies increased over my ten years as a humanitarian aid worker and due in part, to my reading widely on the subject. I subscribed to development magazines and reports from DFID, UNDP and OXFAM. I have also followed global events such as the G8/20 Summit and others. To enhance my awareness of the complexities of developmental issues and the fact that development should be considered from a less generalized view. I have also attended conferences and workshops, where I have interacted with professionals in this line. The interaction has been fruitful as they have shared their perspectives giving me deep insights on the area.

In addition, my undergraduate studies in BA Communication and Community Development further enhanced my perspective and sent my aspirations in the direction of Developmental Studies. Undertaking part time studies while working full time was not only challenging, but offered me the opportunity to gain knowledge and utilize the skills practically, giving me an edge over my colleagues. The experience instilled in me a sense of discipline, focus, responsibility and determination, characteristics that still define my personality todate

Apart from working and schooling, I have diverse personal interests, for example on gender issues and have organized and participated in major charity events to promote the course. One event was to raise funds to provide sanitary pads for girls in rural parts of Kenya and another to increase awareness on the impact of Female Genital Mutilation (FGM). The second event was the most rewarding as it was picked by women parliamentarians who lobbied for an Anti-FGM policy. This was a great achievement for me, knowing the physical and psychological impact the practice has on women and girls. I also enjoy theatre and music festivals as they allow me to use my talents and potentials as well as travelling to discover new places and people. I also like reading autobiographies for inspiration by great personalities who have made history in this world like Nelson Mandela, Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King Junior. I have engaged in these extra curricular activities throughout my life.

Therefore, undertaking a Masters in Development Studies at the London School of Economics and Political Science will provide me with valuable skills to achieve the dream of contributing to a developed Africa. The LSE development programme is also in line with my career objective; to contribute to social development by enhancing the capabilities of people, especially the marginalized groups. To achieve this goal, education is one of the greatest empowerment tool. As it exposes us to new ways of thinking, facilitate sharing of ideas and offers new insights both through theories and models and through documented evidences.

I have good intellectual abilities, I am focused and ambitious with an excellent personality; Besides am a person of integrity who is compassionate and humane as it can be demonstrated by my volunteer services. I thrive in learning and interacting with people from diverse cultures and sharing experiences. LSE provides a good environment that will give me this opportunity while gaining an international exposure that is vital in sharing of ideas. I believe that I will bring significant contribution to the university and to LSE students from my work and personal experiences.

My conviction is that development is only achievable if everybody is involved and contributes towards changing their situations no matter how little the contribution is. After completing my Masters, I would like to work in developing countries and offer my services. I am interested in working with development organizations whose missions are to achieve sustainable development in developing countries.