Undergraduate / Stanford supplemental essays: language+evolution; my personality; S's students [2]

So here are my Stanford supplemental essays. I like my 2nd essay, but I　feel my other two essays are still weak and could definitely be improved upon. Feel free to comment on any one of them and don't feel obligated to read all three or comment on all three. Thanks for the advice and feedback!

1. Stanford students are widely known to possess a sense of intellectual vitality. Tell us about an idea or an experience you have had that you find intellectually engaging.

Take a moment and consider the enormous variety in language that exists throughout the world. From English to Japanese to Khoisan, people have taken various approaches to expressing the same fundamental ideas. But think for a moment how language arose. It certainly was not through some deliberate intelligent design, but rather through evolution, where small increments of change gradually developed into today's modern forms. Remarkably, such evolution has made each language markedly different from one another, yet each is still capable of communicating the same ideas. How can this be?

Perhaps environmental pressures forced languages to develop a certain way. But that does not explain the numerous differences in grammar, ranging from English's "forward" word order to Japanese's left-branching grammar, which would be "backward" to English speakers. Instead of outside pressures, I believe the differences evolved precisely because there was no one optimal way to communicate. Without environmental forces, initial forces were gradually amplified, with new changes reinforcing old changes and creating a positive feedback cycle. Without any clear strengths or weaknesses among different languages, every approach is a valid approach.

That singular characteristic of language illustrates both the power and limitations of evolution. Evolution can indeed provide unique and creative methods of solving a problem, but once the problem has been solved, it is not necessarily the best solution. Therefore, things that have stopped changing like books and furniture and houses, while certainly adequate, might still be improvable. We should never be content with what is available, but instead should continuously question the world and ask if it really is the best it can be.

2. Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. What would you want your future roommate to know about you? Tell us something about you that will help your future roommate -- and us -- know you better.

What do math, dates, happiness, and personality have in common? Perhaps nothing for most people, but to me, they can all be quantified and numerically analyzed. I love applying math and other theoretical ideas to the most mundane and random of topics. For the most part, I do it not to discover some fundamental truth, but instead simply to amuse those around me. For instance, I once said the chance of getting a date can be determined by a multivariable function with independent variables that represent the two peoples' attractiveness, but of course, that idea is ridiculous.

Conveniently, the preceding thought brings me to another aspect of my personality: the willingness to speak my thoughts. Sure, my idea was outlandish, but instead of furtively hiding it within mind, I risked ridicule to say it. I use that beloved First Amendment right for more than just crazy ideas; I also speak honestly when confronted with charged or potentially compromising questions. Another might avoid a sensitive topic like human sexuality, but for me, I ignore any taboos and freely discuss it. Any idea can be worthwhile for discussion, so why stop at only the socially acceptable ones?

While the abovementioned nonstop analysis and nonstop talking seem diametrically opposed, that actually captures my individuality. I am neither a shy introvert nor a loud extrovert, but instead a moderate between the two extremes. I enjoy quiet activities like reading and thinking, but I also enjoy social activities like debating and partying. So don't hesitate to grab me as a study partner, but also don't hesitate to ask me to give a speech. After all, that is who I am, a balanced individual just as capable of enjoying 1984 as starting a debate about 1984.

3. What makes Stanford a good place for you?

I could talk about the great professors, the excellent research opportunities, and the great facilities at Stanford. Or I could discuss the beautiful scenery and diverse student body. But those aspects, while certainly not trivial and an important reason for my application, can be found at other great universities too. So then, why Stanford? Well, Stanford's student population has something other places do not: a remarkable sense of independence and self-motivation that makes the university more than the sum of its parts. As one who has never bothered to let obstacles stop me, I feel I would fit in perfectly in the student body.

My school has been perennially under-funded and relatively small, so it has never offered many opportunities. Nevertheless, like many of the Stanford students when they were still in high school, such obstacles did not seriously impede me. I ventured out and sought the community college, trying for months to get my requests through the unfriendly high school administration. When the principal kept denying my request, I gained the support of all the counselors and various teachers took my case all the way to the assistant superintendent, who finally granted my approval. At Stanford, I believe my maverick and independent spirit would fit spectacularly with the other students who have undoubtedly undergone similar struggles.

So maybe I have not started my own company or published some groundbreaking paper, but I still possess that same ambition to achieve something great. Other colleges might also be able to provide a great education, but only Stanford can provide a student population where every member has those same qualities: ambition, independence, and a fiery drive to excel.

Undergraduate / UC prompt #1: unsatisfied with high school; UC prompt #2: experience at COSMOS [4]

Prompt #1: Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how has your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

In 5th grade, a police officer came and told us to resist peer pressure lest we fall victim to drugs and alcohol. Like many others, I regarded peer pressure as an evil force, only good to ruin lives. I never imagined that it could actually be a tremendously positive influence, but in my life, that is the role peer pressure has played. Without my friends' positive peer pressure and encouragement, I never would have joined a sport, applied for COSMOS, or volunteered at the aquarium. But it did more than just encourage participation in extracurricular activities. I became more outgoing, and as a result, I developed individuality and the willingness to explore my options instead of simply following the "safest" path.

For much of my life, I had been a shy kid, afraid to take risks or participate in anything beyond the bare minimum. To me, only school was important, while everything else was superfluous. After all, only academics would count for college, right? I had that mentality until my sophomore year, but everything changed when my friends began telling me to become involved in the entire school life and community rather than solely the classes. They urged me to join clubs and sports, arguing that they would be fun and interesting experiences. When I decided to follow their suggestions, my life turned. Before such activities, I was a chameleon, taking on whatever hue was around me and utterly devoid of individuality. But afterward, I was no longer known as the kid that took calculus as a freshman or received an A on that final; instead I became a veritably unique individual, more than just the sum of my achievements. For example, even though I had volunteered at the aquarium, people described me not as the person who volunteered there, but as one who liked to do community service as a way to help charitable causes. Finally, my individual personality was being revealed.

As a consequence of participating in more activities, my horizons expanded as I experienced more aspects of life. I realized I could not live life solely through studying and learning, but instead had to actively participate in all walks of life. Without such an epiphany, I never would have joined Key Club and experienced the joy of volunteer work, or done cross-country and realized the importance of a team. Similarly, in college I will not be content living as an introvert, but instead will explore the various offerings of university life, taking advantage of every opportunity. Life does not reward those who wait, but instead rewards those who seek it.

Prompt #2: Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

Wherever I was, I had always felt like an outsider, never quite able to assimilate due to my unique interests and values. But upon attending COSMOS, I finally discovered a location where I could properly assimilate. Whereas high school had a dearth of individuals with interests and beliefs like mine, COSMOS was the utter opposite. Everybody was committed to learning, especially my two favorite subjects, math and science. No longer was I relegated to the role of an outsider; instead, I comfortably worked with other likeminded individuals to accomplish common objectives. Shock is not a powerful enough word to describe what I felt; utter disbelief is better. Furthermore, during that time, I realized not only my interest in computer science, but also my own ability, for I, too, was able to run with the swift.

One significant interest developed at COSMOS was computer science. I had always loved solving puzzles and searching for the optimal solution to problems, but I had never considered computer science as a fusion of the two interests. However, at COSMOS, I participated in the robotics cluster, which featured a significant amount of programming. While I initially despised it, I began to immensely enjoy it after realizing the entire process was like an elaborate puzzle. When a program I had spent hours working upon finally worked, I would feel an intense elation. For example, after spending hours trying to program a robot to run through a maze while simultaneously reading the barcodes in it, I finally succeeded. That project made me realize what I truly love to do; I do not like rules, but I also do not enjoy unrestricted freedom. Rather, I prefer an environment where restrictions and rules exist, but within those regulations, I am free to do whatever I wish. In the aforementioned example, the only restrictions were that the robot had to run through the maze and read the barcodes, but otherwise, I had free creative reign. To me, that is the appeal of computer science. A rare event occurs when one can delve into a complex academic topic and almost immediately love it, but that is precisely what I experienced.

Not only did I develop an interest in computer science, I also gained a deeper insight into my own abilities. At COSMOS, because of the concentration of intellectually committed and curious individuals, group discussions occurred frequently. Despite the difficult topics involved, I was nonetheless able to contribute meaningfully to them. For instance, the instructor once asked us to brainstorm ideas on how to power a robot composed of nanometer sized robots. That required invoking knowledge from a broad spectrum of disciplines, including physics, chemistry, and computing. In regular high school, I was not asked to exercise my brain in such a manner, so I expected I would not be able to contribute to the discussion. But much to my surprise, I did indeed have the ability to synthesize information from the wide range of prior topics I had studied and form ideas based on them. Then when a guest lecturer came and said he would describe his work with advanced sold-state devices, I panicked since I had never even heard of the topic, much less studied it. But during his actual lecture, I could indeed comprehend his talk.

COSMOS was much more than a summer enrichment program. It offered me a taste of college, and I absolutely loved it. The attitude, environment, and the general atmosphere of COSMOS left such a profound impact on me that I changed my entire attitude about learning. Whereas previously I had regarded higher education as simply a barrier to overcome in order to begin working, I now regard college as an exciting opportunity to cultivate my interests and abilities. I eagerly look forward to the prospect of once again being in an intellectually stimulating environment.

total: 1014 words

For reference, COSMOS is the California State Summer School for Math and Science. I participated in the nanotechnology and robotics cluster.

Thanks for all the help!