So here are my Stanford supplemental essays. I like my 2nd essay, but I　feel my other two essays are still weak and could definitely be improved upon. Feel free to comment on any one of them and don't feel obligated to read all three or comment on all three. Thanks for the advice and feedback!
1. Stanford students are widely known to possess a sense of intellectual vitality. Tell us about an idea or an experience you have had that you find intellectually engaging.
Take a moment and consider the enormous variety in language that exists throughout the world. From English to Japanese to Khoisan, people have taken various approaches to expressing the same fundamental ideas. But think for a moment how language arose. It certainly was not through some deliberate intelligent design, but rather through evolution, where small increments of change gradually developed into today's modern forms. Remarkably, such evolution has made each language markedly different from one another, yet each is still capable of communicating the same ideas. How can this be?
Perhaps environmental pressures forced languages to develop a certain way. But that does not explain the numerous differences in grammar, ranging from English's "forward" word order to Japanese's left-branching grammar, which would be "backward" to English speakers. Instead of outside pressures, I believe the differences evolved precisely because there was no one optimal way to communicate. Without environmental forces, initial forces were gradually amplified, with new changes reinforcing old changes and creating a positive feedback cycle. Without any clear strengths or weaknesses among different languages, every approach is a valid approach.
That singular characteristic of language illustrates both the power and limitations of evolution. Evolution can indeed provide unique and creative methods of solving a problem, but once the problem has been solved, it is not necessarily the best solution. Therefore, things that have stopped changing like books and furniture and houses, while certainly adequate, might still be improvable. We should never be content with what is available, but instead should continuously question the world and ask if it really is the best it can be.
2. Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. What would you want your future roommate to know about you? Tell us something about you that will help your future roommate -- and us -- know you better.
What do math, dates, happiness, and personality have in common? Perhaps nothing for most people, but to me, they can all be quantified and numerically analyzed. I love applying math and other theoretical ideas to the most mundane and random of topics. For the most part, I do it not to discover some fundamental truth, but instead simply to amuse those around me. For instance, I once said the chance of getting a date can be determined by a multivariable function with independent variables that represent the two peoples' attractiveness, but of course, that idea is ridiculous.
Conveniently, the preceding thought brings me to another aspect of my personality: the willingness to speak my thoughts. Sure, my idea was outlandish, but instead of furtively hiding it within mind, I risked ridicule to say it. I use that beloved First Amendment right for more than just crazy ideas; I also speak honestly when confronted with charged or potentially compromising questions. Another might avoid a sensitive topic like human sexuality, but for me, I ignore any taboos and freely discuss it. Any idea can be worthwhile for discussion, so why stop at only the socially acceptable ones?
While the abovementioned nonstop analysis and nonstop talking seem diametrically opposed, that actually captures my individuality. I am neither a shy introvert nor a loud extrovert, but instead a moderate between the two extremes. I enjoy quiet activities like reading and thinking, but I also enjoy social activities like debating and partying. So don't hesitate to grab me as a study partner, but also don't hesitate to ask me to give a speech. After all, that is who I am, a balanced individual just as capable of enjoying 1984 as starting a debate about 1984.
3. What makes Stanford a good place for you?
I could talk about the great professors, the excellent research opportunities, and the great facilities at Stanford. Or I could discuss the beautiful scenery and diverse student body. But those aspects, while certainly not trivial and an important reason for my application, can be found at other great universities too. So then, why Stanford? Well, Stanford's student population has something other places do not: a remarkable sense of independence and self-motivation that makes the university more than the sum of its parts. As one who has never bothered to let obstacles stop me, I feel I would fit in perfectly in the student body.
My school has been perennially under-funded and relatively small, so it has never offered many opportunities. Nevertheless, like many of the Stanford students when they were still in high school, such obstacles did not seriously impede me. I ventured out and sought the community college, trying for months to get my requests through the unfriendly high school administration. When the principal kept denying my request, I gained the support of all the counselors and various teachers took my case all the way to the assistant superintendent, who finally granted my approval. At Stanford, I believe my maverick and independent spirit would fit spectacularly with the other students who have undoubtedly undergone similar struggles.
So maybe I have not started my own company or published some groundbreaking paper, but I still possess that same ambition to achieve something great. Other colleges might also be able to provide a great education, but only Stanford can provide a student population where every member has those same qualities: ambition, independence, and a fiery drive to excel.
Take a moment and consider the enormous variety in language that exists throughout the world.
No! You can't make me! (that is what the reader's mind shouts when an essay begins this way. It is bad, especially because it presumes the reader has not reflected on the enormous variety.
Oh, no! And then you bash the reader's religion if the religion accepts any notion of intelligent design!
environmental pressures forced languages to develop a certain way. But that does not explain the numerous differences in grammar,
Yes is does!
Without any clear strengths or weaknesses among different languages, every approach is a valid approach.
I do perceive strengths and weaknesses of various languages...
Yes, I think this essay is not inspired, that is all. I don't mean to be critical; I write things that are not inspired, too! And when writing lacks inspiration, it does not express your ideas correctly.
Think of your purpose for this first essay. What result do you hope to achieve when the reader reads it? I thin you want them to gain greater appreciation for linguistics, and that will be impressive. So, make an observation about the way thought is affected by the languag used for thinking, and speculate about how cultural characteristics may e affected by the structure of the culture' language -- or how, perhaps, the norms of language REFLECT certain characteristics of the culture. Go deep into the subject, writing about it objectively instead of addressing the reader directly.
For inspiration, read an article by Noam Chompsky.
