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Posts by akitarane
Joined: Nov 27, 2009
Last Post: Nov 28, 2009
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akitarane   
Nov 28, 2009
Undergraduate / BU Supplement Three Words Essay "Questioning. Everything. Always." [8]

I feel like your essay tells a story. I understand the point that you're trying to get across, but I don't think that putting in the bit about Facebook is going to help you.

I'm not exactly sure what the admissions ppl at BU are looking for in this supplement, believe me I gotta write one too, but I didn't get a real sense of who you are through this essay.

Try connecting more of how your unique way of thinking makes you stand out with a different topic.

Maybe, something that gave you an epiphany??
akitarane   
Nov 27, 2009
Undergraduate / An artist's hands - UC Essay [17]

I really enjoyed this essay especially how it takes informal turns here and there.

But, do you think that it's okay to make your essay informal? I know that by doing so your ability to express yourself will flow easily, but is it worth the sacrifice for admission?

I'm just wondering if admissions would rather read a beautifully written narrative, or an organized pointful essay.

Just a thought. Actually, if you know where I'm coming from could you give me some feedback??

Anyways, fabulous essay.

^.^
akitarane   
Nov 27, 2009
Undergraduate / Diversity: Be Grateful For It - Common Application Essay for Boston University [2]

Please write an essay (250 words minimum) on a topic of your choice or on one of the options listed below. This personal essay helps us to become acquainted with you as a person and student, apart from courses, grades, test scores, and other objective data. It will also demonstrate your ability to organize your thoughts and express yourself.

-A range of academic interests, personal perspectives, and life experiences adds much to the educational mix. Given your personal background, describe an experience that illustrates what you would bring to the diversity in a college community, or an encounter that demonstrated the importance of diversity to you.

-Topic of your choice.

I chose to write my essay on the importance of diversity. Please provide input, I appreciate it.^.^

Diversity: Be Grateful For It

If the world was populated by robots the trees would rot and the grass would turn into compost. The realm of natural beauty would lose its iridescence and deteriorate. Nature would fall captive to order and control without any room for interpretation. There would be no pleasantry, no vivid representation of fantasy or imagination because robots do not possess the ability to innovate and create. The Earth would be populated by a collection of identical beings that would systematically use the Earth's resources until the deprived planet finally could not give any more. However, the humans who do populate the Earth are not created identically and have abilities that allow creation and innovation to commence. Through these processes, diversity plays a crucial role in the advancement of the human race. Without the dynamic vitality of diversity, the world would be a bleak and desolate place to live.

Humans embrace the fact that they have so many different perspectives and ideas that contribute to the evolution of society. Ideas are so crucial to the human race because they are the untouchable force fields that propel us forward as a species. Wired to innovate, humans have an engraved instinct that never allows to be satisfied. With each emerging advancement, this is distinct as we see the innovations of the past create a pathway for the innovations of the future. Innovation starts with an idea. The idea doesn't need to be extravagant or pandemic, it just needs to be fueled by passion. After the idea is represented, it needs to be attacked by a collection of perspectives that can provide their own tweaking of potential prospects so that the idea can transform into a reality. It is so crucial that different ideas are integrated in our society otherwise there would be no sense of progression. In order for there to be progress, a unity of diverse ideas must be working together to satisfy all angles of perceptions.

Ideas are so important; they provide new experiences, ignite passions, satisfy needs, and most of all they can give new meanings to life as we know it. Without the ingenious findings of Edison and Galileo, we would still be wondering why the moon wasn't bright enough to light our houses at night and how there had to be something else we could use to illuminate the dark with than clanky kerosene lamps. Americans owe their personal liberties to influential minds such as John Locke. He brewed up ideas that became the foundation of Western Democracy. So much we owe to the brilliance of ideas. However, ideas are not the only extraordinary element of human thought. What makes humans so fascinating as a species is how multi-faceted they are. Every human is created with different attributes whether it be physical or delicately hidden. The beauty of this coexistence is how these differences react with one another.

The presence of diversity plays a major role in the advancement and growth of human society. The things that bring us entertainment and spiritual connection in a world of diversity would be unfulfilling in a world filled with people who shared the same values, characteristics, ideas, passions, and aspirations. Differences make us stronger. If humans were made like robots, there would be no sense of beauty, vitality or purpose in the world because everyone would perceive the world in the same way. This would prevent new learning experiences and growth, which are two concepts that human life is based upon. If we lived our lives sticking to our own interpretations, we would be missing out on endless ideas and discoveries if only we opened our minds to others. By broadening our minds to various opinions from all sorts of people with varying backgrounds and cultures we can learn about ourselves in the process. And that process is one of the most fulfilling experiences to stumble upon.
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