Posts by chikibayb02
Joined: Nov 29, 2009 |
Last Post: Nov 29, 2009
Threads: 1 Posts: 4
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Displayed posts: 5
Undergraduate /
how i see the world: from blond Barbie hair to tamales. (: [3]
your essay is super cute and i really like it but i must admit that it doesn't fully address the topic you had provided. i did not know your ethnicity/background until i saw your name at the bottom. a little more evaluation on the way you see the world would be splendid as well.
its an entertaining essay and i enjoyed reading it
good job :)
Undergraduate /
UC 1: family was my influence [6]
for the second red area thing use the word ludicrous. its a great word. :)
use multicultural
only if you are more than one culture.
if you really wanna talk about how the hamster helped you, then do so. don't mention the little guy (or girl) and then leave him/her hangin...
no one deserves to be beat for any reason.
i'm unclear which prompt this is for. make it a little more clear.
you have a great essay overall. just needs more revision and clarity.
check out mine please. i need feedback big time :)
Undergraduate /
"mexican struggle" - UC prompt [5]
your essay was good, but i am sorry to hear that about your father because i can relate...
anyways, i think all your essay needs is more evaluation on what you want to do in the future. talk a little more about your goals and don't limit your goals to just college. maybe talk about your career goals and what job you want to pursue after college.
Undergraduate /
"every word of the Pokémon theme song" - my first admissions essay! prompt #1 [5]
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
"I wanna be the very best
Like no one ever was
To catch them is my real test
To train them is my cause
I will travel across the land
Searching far and wide
Each Pokémon to understand
The power that's inside"My brother and I were able to recite every word of the Pokémon theme song when we were children. Pretending to be Pokémon trainers is only one of the items on the extensive list of my childhood memories. There are five children in my immediate family and I am the middle child. Two are in college, one is a high school freshman, and the remaining sibling is a sassy six year-old. My siblings are an enormous part of my world and have helped shape who I am and who I want to be. I have learned so much from them as I have grown up. As children, my siblings and I would play for hours at a time in the backyard and we would create fanciful imaginations of warrior princesses or make believe that we had our own Pokémon creatures. To this day, my brother and I still spend a great deal of time in our backyard studying the little creatures and the various types of plants in our garden. I would put insects in jars so that I could do further studies on them. The time that I spent studying the little creatures in the soil of our garden made me curious about the small things that no one sees and their impact on the world. My curious and imaginative mind that was molded when I was a child from these outdoor studies and imagination explorations can be nourished by entering the medical field and doing research to find cures for diseases. My goal is to be an anatomical or surgical pathologist. I have always been interested in bacteria and viruses and how something so small can have such a huge impact on our bodies. I believe UC San Diego has the proper amenities and resources to help nourish my desire to pursue a career in the biological sciences.
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