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Posts by Wrestlingnba
Joined: Dec 23, 2009
Last Post: Dec 25, 2009
Threads: 3
Posts: 4  


Displayed posts: 7
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Wrestlingnba   
Dec 25, 2009
Undergraduate / Does this fit the prompt for Pepperdine??? [3]

Pepperdine's essay question: Pepperdine's scholarly community equips students with a liberal arts education anchored in Christian values. Our commitment to integrating faith and learning challenges our students to understand that the gift of knowledge ultimately calls for a life of service. With this commitment in mind, please respond:

Tell us how the integration of faith and learning can prepare you for a life of service, and discuss the impact service-learning can have on the renewing of your mind, spirit, and community

By studying United States History, I discovered my love of politics. I was so captivated by the historical concepts that I enrolled in a political science course at a local community college. Nevertheless, my thirst for politics couldn't be quenched within a classroom. I desired to gain some hands on experience in the realms of politics, so I applied for an internship with State Senator Alan Lowenthal last summer.

My experiences in U.S. History gave me more than what any letter grade could offer. I took the class with the intentions of bolstering my GPA. As the year progressed, I began to understand that the class wasn't about the letter grade, but rather about comprehending the struggles endured by the men and women, who sought to reform society for posterity. I remember learning about the women's rights movement and the civil rights movement and how each movement, respectively, brought positive changes to America.

Initially, I had doubts about my ability, but eventually a Senator's staff member interviewed me and awarded me the intern position. With this opportunity, I no longer was just reading about making changes in society, I was on the front lines. At first, I only filed papers and faxed messages to the senator, but later I partook in more significant tasks. I listened to people discuss their problems and was able to understand the processes used to address these issues. Many people who were concerned or confused about the healthcare proposal inundated our office with phone calls. I witnessed the senator's staff answer questions and advise people on the provisions and consequences of the proposed healthcare plan, even though it is a national issue. Seeing Senator Lowenthal and his staff interact with the public highlighted the responsibilities they have to their constituents. They must appease the public, but concurrently make policy which can benefit society. I, too, was able to counsel people about their problems, helping them alleviate their troubles. I answered phone calls regarding California budget issues, because I had done research on the matter. I acknowledged that the political process isn't completely immune to corrupting influences and that the mechanisms of progress work slowly. I understand that some problems won't always have clear solutions and that there will always be angry constituents, but I recognize the advancements that can be achieved.

The staff at the Senator's office entrusted me with writing a memo about the City of Lakewood. Eagerly, I researched the demographics and participated in an interview with the assistant manager. I drafted a memo that was concise yet, not lacking in the quality of information. It was an indescribable feeling to see the senator use it as an address to his constituents.

I'm fortunate to have acquired knowledge about prominent events in United States history. That very knowledge and experience has opened my eyes of how I have and positively will impact society.
Wrestlingnba   
Dec 25, 2009
Undergraduate / Barnard Supplement- Government Representitive [3]

Interesting choice of person to meet with if you had the oppurtunitity. It is good that you decided to tackle discussing the problem of education. Your point of disussion is good, but I think you really start to talk about it at the end. I think you should focous on descrbing the last parts of this supplement, I have copy and pasted the parts you should elaborated on:

If I could spend an hour with a government representative, I would raise the issue of education for the poor. I would work with the representative to help create a comprehensive program to combat the failures of the current education system. Through hard work and careful monitoring, we could institute a system in which even children living in poverty could have the opportunity to go to college, to reach their full potentials. Creating such a program would help raise the lower classes out of poverty and into a more equal society.
Wrestlingnba   
Dec 25, 2009
Undergraduate / NYU supplement; 'A day in NYC with anyone' [9]

I like your choice about who you would meet in New York,and your comparision with flowers and dreams is very good in your poem. I can vividly see the comparison as a flower grows with relation to how a dream evolves.
Wrestlingnba   
Dec 24, 2009
Undergraduate / 'The final football season' - NYU: how you spent summer vacation: 500 [4]

Please comment on this piece, thank you

Practicing for my last football season made this summer the most memorable. My second year on varsity marked my last chance of earning a playoff game. More importantly, this would be the final season I would play football with the men I played with since my freshman year. Each grueling day I lifted weights with my team, and practiced in the sweltering heat. Regardless of the outcome of the season, I hope that I can maintain relationships that I have formed through football the last four years.
Wrestlingnba   
Dec 24, 2009
Undergraduate / I discovered my love of politics; What led you to select your history : NYU [3]

Please tell us what led you to select your anticipated academic program and/or NYU school/college, and what interests you most about your intended discipline.

Please help me make 500 characters

By studying United States History, I discovered my love of politics. My experiences in U.S. History gave me more than what any letter grade could offer. As the year progressed, I began to understand that the class wasn't about the letter grade, but rather about comprehending the struggles endured by the men and women, who sought to reform society for posterity. I remember learning about the women's rights movement and the civil rights movement and how each movement, respectively, brought positive changes to America. My thirst for politics couldn't be quenched within a classroom. I desired to gain some hands on experience in the realm of politics, so I applied for an internship with State Senator Alan Lowenthal last summer. Eventually a Senator's staff member interviewed me and awarded me the intern position. At first, I only filed papers and faxed messages to the senator, but later I partook in more significant tasks. I listened to people discuss their problems and was able to understand the processes used to address these issues. Many people who were concerned or confused about the healthcare proposal inundated our office with phone calls. I witnessed the senator's staff answer questions and advise local people on the provisions and consequences of the proposed healthcare plan, even though it is a national issue. Seeing Senator Lowenthal and his staff interact with the public highlighted to me the responsibilities that they have to their constituents. I, too, was able to counsel people about their problems, helping them to alleviate their troubles. The staff at the Senator's office entrusted me with writing a memo about the City of Lakewood. It was an indescribable feeling to see the senator use it as an address to his constituents. I understand that some problems won't always have clear solutions and that there will always be angry constituents, but I recognize the advancements that can be achieved. Thus I have decided to major in law and politics so I can further nurture my interest in politics and American Law. I seek to utilize the knowledge that I will obtain from my major to shape the future of tomorrow's society.
Wrestlingnba   
Dec 24, 2009
Undergraduate / "weaknesses have turned out my strong points" - The world I come from MIT Essay [5]

this sounds like the UC essay prompt 1. Anyways I think you should either focous on family, or school not both. Cut out the cliches, and get staright to the point. Many studnets believe they can better their essays with cliches, but they are just adding uneccessary fluff. Hope this helps
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