Undergraduate / Princeton Supplement Essay- Carpe Diem [8]

This is my supplement essay for princeton/yale. Any constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated.
It is currently at 576 words so any suggestions to get it down to 500 would be amazing.
Thanks :)

Using a favorite quotation from an essay or book you have read in the last three years as a jumping off point, tell us about an event or experience that helped you define one of your values or changed how you approach the world. Please write the quotation at the beginning of your essay.

"Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it?-every, every minute?" - Thornton Wilder's play Our Town

My mind was blissfully replaying moments from last night's homecoming dance when my mom called me into her bedroom, stating that she needed to talk to me. I did not think much of it at the time. Maybe she wanted an opinion on a new dress or had an idea for my sixteenth birthday party. The conversation had better be quick because I had a huge AP world history test the next morning and needed to study. When I walked into her room and hopped onto the bed I realized my mother and father were waiting for me. We usually did not have family meetings to discuss our wardrobes. I looked from my mom to my dad and back again only to discover the identical expression of apprehension on their faces.

The next fifteen minutes blurred together; a mixture of disbelief, panic, and utter fear. All I remember is that once my mom said the word 'cancer' my world spiraled into darkness. When my parents calmed me down enough to stop crying, I escaped to my room to let this horrifying fact sink in. My chef, my chauffer, my motivational speaker, my shopping companion, my best friend, my mommy could not have cancer, could not die! I attempted to picture my life without my mother in it, but simply could not grasp what that would entail. While I had been worrying about my history test and reminiscing about a trivial dance, I had not appreciated what stood in front of me, and now, who knew how much time I had left with my mom?

I was frightened, but at that moment something inside me snapped. I would treasure the remaining time I had with my mom, whether that meant six weeks or six decades, I would value her presence while I had her. As Thornton Wilder mused in his play Our Town, "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it?-every, every minute?" No, we usually do not. We are so distracted by long-term goals and daily routines that we fail to realize the beauty of customary things. I did not want to miss anything else, and from that moment on I tried to see everything in a different light. I would savor, not just eat dinner that night. I would delight in the appearance of my friends at school the next day instead of merely saying hello. I would really look at my mom, not just point my eyes in her general direction, but gaze at her wonderful countenance and appreciate her friendly personality. I can not say I always succeed at seeing things in a positive light; it is a bit hard to embrace the steam rising from your car as it breaks down, but I try.

Though my mother fully recovered from her cancer, I learned a priceless lesson. Life is transient and we only get to live it once. I need to cherish every second with the people I love and seize every day. Each moment is as valuable as the next; if I make it, next Tuesday can be just as beautiful as my wedding day. Life is ephemeral, yet gorgeous.

Undergraduate / Common App Essay- The rise and fall of percussion [4]

Hi I am struggling with my main common app essay and would greatly appreciate any feedback. It's very long and I would really appreciate any guidance on shortening it. Thank you so much!

Prompt: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

The final crescendo arrived, pulsating through the arena, and then with the last smash of the closing impact, it was over. We had performed a flawless show. As the arena burst into a deafening standing ovation, I only had eyes for my teammates standing beside me. Never again would this exact group of people perform together to create something magical. Hot tears started to flow thick and quick down my cheeks as I embraced my friends backstage and basked in the grandeur of our accomplishment. We had practiced ceaselessly, endured pain, and dedicated ourselves heart and soul to the music over the past year. We had laughed, cried, and bonded together. We had performed the best show of our lives and made WGI (a competitive indoor percussion ensemble organization) history by becoming the first group to medal twice in the same year. Most importantly however, we had become phenomenal musicians through our own perseverance.

The percussion program was an integral part of my life during junior high and my freshmen and sophomore years. I dedicated myself undividedly to the ensemble and practiced on average 32 hours a week. Our devoted instructors, Rick Barclay and Whitney Stanton, had high expectations and pushed us to grow as musicians and people. Through friendly competition, my teammates and I pushed each other to excel and together we became better musicians. My passion for music grew because I was able to participate in the activity I loved alongside people I loved. I learned that it is fairly easy to become good, but it takes a great deal more to become outstanding. My percussion family helped me realize my potential and taught me the true meaning of teamwork. The feeling of accomplishment after our winning performance at nationals was without a doubt worth the countless hours of pure hard work.

Yet apparently the percussion program had not finished its lesson plan. Only a few months after our gleaming achievement at the national championships, the high school administration hired a new band director who took over the percussion program and let our superb instructors go. Although a percussionist, the new band director's skills and passion could not compare. The returning percussionists recognized that our own skills were superior to the band director's and were frustrated by this inferior replacement. We struggled the entire summer to retain Whitney and Rick, appealing to the administration, attending school board meetings, and discussing our issues with the new band director, but to no avail. We were simply not receiving adequate instruction and it became apparent that the percussion program was no longer an efficient use of our time and energy. As the summer of 2008 came to a close, I resigned alongside the other returning percussionists. It broke my heart. It was a cataclysmic change in my life; the previous four years had been comprised almost entirely of percussion and now it was utterly gone, leaving a gaping hole in my heart and schedule.

The day after I resigned from the music program I contacted the yearbook advisor and after a brief interview process, became a staff member. Then shortly after the academic year started, I joined the speech and debate team. I had always wanted to try these activities and now had the time and opportunity to do so. For a novice, I was competent at both yearbook and speech and debate. However, I was still heartbroken and often cried myself to sleep at night. Sometimes after a yearbook work day I would hear the band practicing and stop to listen. Typically I could only endure for a few minutes before I hurriedly dashed to my car to hide the painful tears. I hated being miserable so when New Year's 2009 rolled around, I made the conscious decision to stop crying about percussion and move on. In order to be happy, I realized I needed to put on a cheery façade and hope the façade would become genuine.

Through my work in yearbook I started to take a greater interest in photography. I had always loved taking pictures that capture memories, but it was not until January 2009 that I began to take full advantage of the high quality yearbook cameras and their artistic capabilities. Through my characteristic determination, I became proficient with the cameras and by the end of the year I earned the "Best Photographer" award. It took some time, but I learned to enjoy these new extracurricular activities. While the destruction of the high caliber percussion program was frustrating, I am exceptionally proud of the way I immersed myself into other pursuits.

Through this whole ordeal, the girl I was transformed into the young adult I am today. I had to mature, to fight for what I wanted, and hardest of all, I had to recover from disappointment and move on. I had to learn one of the hardest life lessons, that no matter how hard you work nor how passionate you are about something, life is just not fair. Given the opportunity to return to the percussion program as it was under Rick and Whitney, I would do so in a heartbeat. During my time with percussion I learned the true meaning of dedication and hard work, and saw its rewards at the WGI national championships. I have come to realize that because I was a part of the percussion ensemble and our magical performance at the nationals, I have been changed forever. I try to apply the same passionate work ethic that I had in percussion to every aspect of my life. Though I have pursued other extracurricular activities, I have still been able to continue my passion for music by practicing on my own.

Am I sorry things turned out the way they did? Not necessarily. Life threw me a handful of sour lemons, but with acute determination I slowly poured buckets of water and bowls of various sugars to dilute the setback and make it sweet lemonade. It took me a while to acclimate to the new taste, but I have learned to savor it. While I regret not performing during the past 18 months, I have discovered a new passion for photography, learned the value of perseverance and a positive attitude, become friends with many people I would not have known otherwise, and emerged a stronger young woman ready to deal with the curveballs life throws my way.

Undergraduate / Stanford Intellectual Vitality Supplement Essay-String Theory [5]

Hi, this is my first Stanford Supplement Essay. I would greatly appreciate any constructive criticism. Thank you!

Stanford students are widely known to possess a sense of intellectual vitality. Tell us about an idea or an experience you have had that you find intellectually engaging.

This past fall, Harvey Mudd College had a phenomenal lecture series that was open to the public. Since Harvey Mudd is near my house, two months ago I attended a Friday night lecture given by Brian Greene, a Professor of theoretical physics at Columbia University and a well-known proponent of the string theory. With only a month of physics under my belt, I knew little about theoretical physics but was intrigued by this strange branch of science. From the first two minutes of the presentation, I was captivated and I'm sure at one point my jaw must have dropped; upon entering the lecture hall, I had not expected this hour long discussion to change my entire perception of the universe and its inner workings. I discovered that the string theory unified Einstein's theory of general relativity and quantum mechanics and hypothesized that the universe is comprised of multi-dimensional miniscule vibrating strings that create the richness and variety of every particle in the universe. Brian Greene explained that these strings were smaller than quarks and operated in not only the three traditional dimensions, but in ten dimensions. While the string theory was a novel concept to me, it was logical and conformed with my understanding of the cosmos. Upon leaving the lecture hall, I was brimming with enthusiasm and soon dashed home to further research the theory. I am a religious person, but I doubt God magically created the world with a wave of his hand. I believe God created the world in accordance with the natural laws that govern the universe, and that the string theory seeks to explain those natural laws. Through this superb opportunity I have had some of my philosophical questions answered and gained a greater appreciation for physics and its power.