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Posts by lee123
Joined: Dec 29, 2009
Last Post: Jan 1, 2010
Threads: 4
Posts: 5  


Displayed posts: 9
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lee123   
Jan 1, 2010
Undergraduate / Tropical sunrise-Williams supplement and Degree-Cornell [NEW]

Imagine looking through a window at any environment that is particularly significant to you. Reflect on the scene, paying close attention to the relation between what you are seeing and why it is meaningful to you. Please limit your statement to 300 words.

I would make my way through the white corridors, down the stairs and out into a place filled with the scent of. My childhood home represents everything about my childhood and its innocence. Everything was new beautiful, and exciting. Anything , including magically transforming into flower, was attainable anything was possible. I could be whatever I wanted, and there was no need to fear because I always felt safe. And the world was incomprehensibly large and vast. As I finish my last year of high school, the world and my outlook on life has greatly changed. The world has gotten smaller, it doesn't seem so secure, and not everything seems realistically obtainable. That in no way means that life has become less magical or the world has morphed into this perilous, disenchanting place. It has just changed. Although the world is smaller, at this age, I am able to awe in and appreciate its complexity rather than stand in trembling astonishment at its perceived hugeness. And even though I do not believe that a superhero will save the day I aspire to become a help to others. Childhood amazement with the world is celebrated and treasured, as it should be. I hope to never forget that childhood amazement, but I also realize that that I still am astonished by the world; it's just different type of astonishment.

CORNELL
Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the College of Arts and Sciences to further explore your interests, intended major, or field of study.

Life always felt too shallow. And this for me continued into school. I worked hard, I could do chemistry reactions, and solve difficult match problems, but it all seemed so empty. The information was very useful and practical, but just empty. I went through life feeling that I was just skimming the top. Many people believe that philosophy is reserved for people without financial trouble or with too much leisure time. That's what I thought. Each time the word philosophy was brought up, images of grey, old, Caucasian males, who sat around in their 18th century Victorian homes, alone with no family or friends, came to mind.

After taking a class, starting a book club, and reading works of philosophers such as Alan Watts and Voltaire, I feel that it is one of the most important things a person could ever study. You are able to realize that we all are driven by curiosity about ourselves, the world and the unseen. And once we realize that our need and pursuit of knowledge is innate, questions such as or don't seem trivial at all. I would love to study and further explore the different topics within the subject of philosophy. A lot of the understanding I have about the subject has been through my book club and personal study. The prospect of being able to participate in lectures given by traveling philosophers who visit Cornell and to attend the lectures of faculty members who are well-respected and experts in their fields to lecture even better. I know the Sage School of Philosophy has reading groups where students can discuss certain topics. I know that I would be at each and every one of those discussion meetings because I love to talk about what I think about a certain theory or book and I love to listen to the opinions of other students who are also passionate about philosophy. I would apply to be one of two undergraduate students to be selected for research. I know that these two students do not receive academic credit. They do receive an hourly wage but that to me that would just be a perk; I would want to be there even if there was no pay. At Cornell, I would take advantage of all the resources available, not just because it would look good on my resume but because I love learning, exploring, and Philosophy.
lee123   
Dec 31, 2009
Undergraduate / U of Chicago Essay Option 4 - Games [5]

I really like what you have so far.You have a lot of great ideas but I have no idea where you are trying to go. Maybe you should decide what message or idea you want to convey with this piece, whether it is one about you or about life. When you decide that than you can build a focused essay. But really beautiful writing and lots of abstract thinking so far.

Please check out my essays and leave some feedback(Just what you think)
Thanks!
lee123   
Dec 31, 2009
Undergraduate / Williams supplement - "window to my dreams" [2]

It is a beautiful poem. It has great descriptions of the scene you are viewing, but nothing is said of what this scene means to you. It is defintely a risk to answer the prompt this way. It will make you stand out, the admissions officer reading it might be really impressed with your creativity or not. it could go either way.

Please return turn the favor, and leave feedback on mine.
lee123   
Dec 31, 2009
Undergraduate / Brown -How my philosophy class sparked my interest in learning [3]

A.Tell us about an intellectual experience, project, class, or book that has influenced or inspired you.

The surface. That's where I lived my life. The surface consisted of getting good grades, being a good daughter and sister, helping others. I am in no way belittling these things. But there is more to life than just that. Through this course, I was able to discover a hidden world, if you will, one below all the superficial tasks that we try to complete every day.

It was the beginning of second semester and I was being introduced to new teachers and subjects. On my schedule were 16 required courses and then philosophy. It was the only case where I had a choice and it was wither this or a religious class. Philosophy. Whenever it was mentioned, images of grey, old, Caucasian males, who sat around in their 18th century Victorian home, alone with no family or friends of course, came to mind. I was brought back to reality, as the teacher, in her thick "Ondo" accent, began to give an overview of the course. She briefly described the braches of philosophy. After that, she passed out our assignment. Just two questions.

Later during study hour, I was able to finish my Biology and English homework. I turned to my philosophy homework and read the questions: "Who are you?" and "What is reality?" .I was both amazed and perplexed. I had no idea where to start or how to answer these questions. My friends however, completed their philosophy assignments by answering with sarcastic remarks or with pretty well-known answers such "reality is what you can touch and feel". I however sought the answer with diligently. I wanted the answers in all earnestness. I also sought answers to questions in my life. Yet they were always answered by some generic answer give by others, and sometimes by myself. The answers were never satisfying.

To put it short, I turned in no answers for that assignment and I got an F. I was disappointed with the failing grade. However, I did realize that this class was not to find the answers but really to bring up questions that matter. Sure, it is great to be able to recite the periodic table, but what is that in comparison in knowing that, like Alan Watts said, "Nothing is more fertile than emptiness", or that "Void is precisely form". For me, philosophy was being able to dive in to the very essence of what makes us all human. Maybe I could would find the answers, maybe there were none. I loved being able to think critically about things not seen, or things not able to be totally expressed or made sense of the most challenging, futile, and impossible questions ever. It's about figuring out the things that are on all our minds, things that we all question and wonder about, regardless of race, gender, economic status or anything that differentiates us. I realize that we all are driven by curiosity about ourselves, the world and the unseen. And once we realize that our need and pursuit of knowledge is innate, such questions don't seem trivial at all.
lee123   
Dec 31, 2009
Undergraduate / "Manure" OR "A life of crime" - Common App Essay [3]

Both are good essays. The Second held my attention better, but it isn't enough just to put down what you'll do at the college at the very end of the essay.You need to find a way to relate that story to your personality,beliefs or interests that exisits now.One sentence at the end is not a effective way to show this relation.

And instead of:
"and being severely dyslexic."

You could changed it to:

"and being picked on for being severely dyslexic."

Or something along those lines.
Just because it doesn't make sense that being the new kid would make you "at risk" for being severly dyslexic.

It is ultimatley your choice whether to scrap both, but I think you should just tweek the second one. After all, you caught my attention and interst just with "I was an elementary school renegade."

Could you review my essay?
lee123   
Dec 31, 2009
Undergraduate / A Tree or a Cloud? - Harvard Optional Essay [7]

That is one of the most creative and artistic I've read. I love the risk you took with the structure of this essay. It is not a ordinary 3.5 essay and that will defintely help you stand out of piles of admission essay. I love your insight into the cycle everyone has been caught up in. It shows that you are able to reason abstractly. Overall, it's a beautiful piece of work.
lee123   
Dec 30, 2009
Undergraduate / Essay about Black girl overcoming and not playing into stereotypes-Amherst [2]

''Stereotyped beliefs have the power to become self-fulfilling prophesies for behavior.''
Elizabeth Aries, Professor of Psychology, Amherst College
From her book Men and Women in Interaction, Reconsidering the Differences

The influence of stereotypes can be overwhelming. It is difficult to think of yourself as you really are when everyone and everything claims that you something different. As a "quirky", Black girl it was very difficult to totally be myself. Many of the kids in school thought that I should be listening to rap music, and many were surprised to find me in many of their AP classes and even more surprised that I was just as competent as they were. Sadly, it wasn't always that way. In the beginning, I was the "token black kid". It is a role clearly defined by the media, so it kind of gave me the impression that it was the way for me to behave. You know the girl who is always prepared with a funny comeback, says fun, "urban" exclamations such as "you trippin", and is very concerned with being at the best party on Friday night. To be honest, it wasn't all that difficult to play into that stereotype. I could make that smart comebacks, say all the funny things, and had all the right moves. It was easy because that's all I thought that I could do or wanted to do. It became overbearing when I realized that .And I dropped the act. Some of my friends didn't feel comfortable and slowly stopped hanging out with me. Many stayed but had to some difficulty adapting to the new "Leslie". I had to deal with being called "white girl, or more notably "oreo", innocently and jokingly most of the time. It was difficult. I was trying to be the best me I could, while having others label me as trying to be something I wasn't. I had to realize that as easy as it might be to conform to their ideas of how I should behave and what I should like, I had to be strong enough to be myself.
lee123   
Dec 29, 2009
Undergraduate / "Something you secretly like, but pretend not to" prompt----UVA: Stuffed animals [7]

Awesome topic! Not many teenage guys (or girls) could admit that they still love the stuffed animals from their chilhood. Maybe you could hightlight some important, childhood events that Slush was a part of to make him seem more like a friend than just a playmate.

Please take a look at my essay.Thanks!
lee123   
Dec 29, 2009
Undergraduate / Living in a foreign boarding school for 3 years-Common Application Essay [3]

I would like honest feedback about my essay. Thank you!

QUESTION: Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.

In formation I stand in line, in the same uniform and with the same hairstyle as every girl other here. Although I had visited Nigeria many times before, living here and going to school was an extreme change. It was a new political and social environment, new languages. Even school was different. It was affiliated with the "Deeper life church," a Christian sect that had very rigid rules about behavior and appearance.

Adeola was another one of the few American-born students at Caleb International College. And with her near there was a sense of freedom, even in the midst in all the strict rules and regulations within the school and chaos outside. We banded together and had many afternoons of sneaking in "contrabands" such as smackers lip balm nearly melted by the tropical heat, reading books from the Harry Potter series in the locker room, and listening to banned music on our banned electronic devices. I was always nervous whenever we decided to do these things, but Adeola always managed to convince me, as corny as it sounds, "to take a walk on the wild side". She even convinced me to sneak out of our dorms with about 6 other girls to Lekki beach, which was about a 30 minute walk from our dorm. After minutes of being called everything from a chicken and an "olodo", a Yoruba insult that is a hybrid between stupid and wet blanket, I caved in. The walk there seemed to take hours and my heart wouldn't stop pounding. After what seemed like decades, we finally reached the beach and while Adeola and the other girls were lying on the sand, laughing, and swimming, I stood in the sand, transfixed, like a rock. I remained that way until the others were finally ready to leave. The walk back wasn't any more reliving, and even after I laid down on the bottom bunk the fear didn't subside. It wasn't the rational fear of getting caught and being punished but was something totally different from that, something I had felt many times before.

Life went on as usual the following days: 4:30 am wake up call, morning assembly, classes, rugby and again the next day. One day, after our daily hour in the chapel we all noticed Adeola was missing. After all the rumors and gossip subsided it was revealed by our house mistress that Adeola had run away. No one knew where she ran to. Some said she eloped, some said she might have been caught up in the recent riot in the streets of Lagos, and many other things were said but everyone did agree that she was a stupid, wild American girl and that it could only be expected of her to do something so "irrational".

During our free hour, as I sat on the veranda, I wondered why Adeola would do such a thing. Sure, I knew she wasn't exactly thrilled to be here, but neither was I. I knew that we both weren't used to such a restricting and critical society, but this was not the right thing to do. I listed off all her projected vices: ranging from insanity to downright stupidity but then I realized that although she was despised and hated by everyone because she did such an unacceptable thing... she was happy, wherever it is that she was. And here I was criticizing her, and all the while being suffocated by the confinement. I was the "zombie" that Fela Kuti described in his '77 classic. I wasn't exactly a soldier that was completely submissive to an oppressive dictatorship, but I wasn't far from it. I realized then that it didn't matter what people, society thought of what I did, or said or what I didn't so long as I was happy. I realized how much I wanted to feel free to do what I wanted without being afraid of the reactions of others, how much I wanted to be able to enjoy being in the water and sand. Her "horrendous" act of leaving her tropical, radiant prison helped me realized the mental confinement I had placed myself in and the control I let others have over me. I, like Adeola, I realized that I no longer wanted to be held in the dungeon that was my fear of the opinions of people. I never truly realized the impact Adeola had until I moved back to the USA. I no longer cared about being the only black girl at an indie rock concert or reading and discussing books such as "The Tao of Philosophy" by Alan Watts, whose eccentricity was not appreciated by my friends. I found happiness by not letting others dictate what my values, interests, and aspirations should be, but deciding them for myself.
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