Posts by gswaminath
Joined: Jan 2, 2010 |
Last Post: Jan 3, 2010
Threads: - Posts: 3
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From: USA
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Displayed posts: 3
Undergraduate /
Boston University 3 words (curious, straightforward, indomitable) [6]
more current anecdotes would be good, but use whatever you think is more emotionally powerful and invokes more pathos. add specific examples (anecdotes, what you learned from an acitivity, etc etc) as to how you exhibit each quality; you are merely stating claims and not backing your points up with evidence. and it would be great if you can improve your transition between paragraphs, since it seems like you're laundry-listing.
Undergraduate /
BU three words: My dwarf name. [3]
hey! haha this essay is kinda killing me right now!!! but yea, when you talk about how you plan to contribute to the BU community... it's really general and doesn't show that you are truly interested about the school. maybe mention some specific programs you like that the school offers, like research, clubs, and other activities that will help you bring out these characteristics. and overall, you kind of just state one or two explanations as to how you can be described by each word. however, i think it may be more helpful for you to mention specific examples for each one of these words, maybe by an anecdote, or your involvement in a certain type of activity and what you learned from it. something more specific so that the admissions officers can learn more about you as a person and student. hope this helps!
Undergraduate /
"I'm Living on a Jet Plane" - Am I Conveying Anything About Myself? [4]
hey! okay so the essay is extremely well written, but you tend to focus more on your experience than revealing more about your personality. it would be definitely better if you can connect your experience to your characteristics... the ending is abrupt, so if the wc allows you to add words, make a better connection! hope this helps!
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