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Posts by duke616
Joined: Feb 1, 2010
Last Post: Feb 25, 2010
Threads: 2
Posts: 6  
From: Korea, Republic of

Displayed posts: 8
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duke616   
Feb 22, 2010
Writing Feedback / [TOEFL essay] Teachers should update their knowledge every 5years. [7]

hi
thanks to reading my essay...
can you give me your advice? (structure, grammar... and your adivce)

When people read school texts, they feel almost same include teachers teaching styles.
These days, some people insist that is Teachers should update their knowledge every five years.
Because, the world change everything include education. However, another people tell that when change teaching know-how, it gives chaos to students include teachers. It is due to the fact that they rearrange their study on every five years. also, students feel burden. But, I think that Teachers should update their knowledge every five years.

This is my reasons;

First of all, It is Korea old saying 'If spend 10 years, the mountain would be changing its apparent.
Many people agree that information's change is so fast also knowledge. As a results, teachers announce to students incorrect information. Another people insist it. But, we have a lot of unsolving mystery.

It need to time, when solve mystery. To illustrate, astronomy part is the best example.
At past, people thought that Jupiter was two plants. Because of, it is different color morning and night. When spent time, people knew that it is same planet. When watched this fact, we need to update teachers' knowledge.

Second, teens change their think to compare with past. Nowadays, children are fast to mature that is apparent and idea. For example, the singlet appears and used by teens. When I talk my cousin, he always talks coined words. It makes me confusing. Also, the issue at hand is that sex education need faster than before. Through this fact, we can know that teachers' knowledge need to updating for teens.

In conclusion, these days, everything change to compare with past. Also, information change so fast. In addition, sometimes, when spend time, astronomy or some mystery story change. Therefore, I firmly insist that teachers' knowledge need to updating every 5 years.
duke616   
Feb 5, 2010
Writing Feedback / Essay about My Classmate from Cambodia [5]

May I additional revise?

My classmate's name is Channy. His age is about 30 years old. He is a Cambodian and lives in a small village of Pourk Deistic Siem Reap, Cambodia.

He's working in the hotel. But, besides work, he studies at University as my classmate. Even though, his house is so far from the school around 20Km.

He is still a student who is an industrious student. He has a family. And, as I know him, he is a kind person.
For example, When I see him in the class, he always says hello to every classmates.
Moreover, I expect to learn from him. It's due to that he teach me, when I don't know questions.
Finally, If Channy is my classmate at next semester, I'll be happy.

Also I'm beginner in English,
However, I face to English.
If you don't give up, you can do it. include me... ;)
fighting!!
duke616   
Feb 2, 2010
Writing Feedback / 'I studied in the Philippines'; Spending money on travelling or saving? [7]

The issue at hand is that a number of people insist saving money is batter than taking a vacation
or travelling. It is due to the fact that financial crisis. Many good company has been bankrupt in America include Europe markets. Therefore, it supports saving money. But, I strong believe that

taking a vacation or travelling is better than saving money. When we go to outdoor or another country, we can revitalize our sprit or mind and learn it that cannot study on the desk.

First of all, when we felt pain or tired in our life, at that time, we should go out like travelling
or vacation. It supports that almost companies have taking a vacation or outdoor activity period.
To illustrate, I met my cousin, who has worked in the major company, during his vacation period.
I asked to him which is function on vacation or leisure time in the company. He replied to me,
it revitalizes our mind or sprit. When we work long time, we can feel tired, and then,
our achievement become low. Finally, The company fall out their product.
So, leisure time is necessary to company.
As his mention, I can know that taking vacation or travelling is good.

Second, we travel to another country or unfamiliar place,
we can learn many things that do not read in the book.
The best example is my studying abroad in the Philippines.
I studied in the Philippines during my university program on last 2009 at fall.
At that time, some friends want to save money. So they did not go out as well.
But, another friends and I go out many places, and then, we got a much experience and
knew another country people mind that is their felicific calculus that can not learn withd book.
When I meet friends in Korea, they always concern their future. It is very complicate.
But, Filipino have different our mind also another country people is same.
I believe that it is more value than billions.

In conclusion, some people insist that saving money is better than taking a vacation or travelling. because, they can prepare to emergency situations or they can spend flexible it. However,

in my opinion, I prefer to choose taking a vacation or travelling rather than saving money.
Though travelling or taking a vacation, I can revitalize our sprit or rearrange our mind in addition,
we can get much experience.
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