Posts by asymptote

asymptote

Mar 1, 2010

Undergraduate / WHY? short essay on Why Engineering? [5]

Within the field of industrial engineering, I[will?] find the preparation I need to solve real world problems. In contrast to my previous [or current?]single-minded study of economics, ~~the one of~~ industrial engineering's curriculum combines [synthesizes?] economics, computer science and optimization methods into one package, providing me a balanced mixture of intellectual discipline and technical skills ~~under~~applicable to real world scenarios . Most importantly, engineering teaches novel? ways of thinking and the developments of analytical skills , which ~~will be~~is essential in today's ~~globalized and fast-paced society~~fast-paced global society .

you don't necessarily need to use all of my suggestions but I hope you find it helpful :-)

asymptote

Mar 1, 2010

Undergraduate / William & Mary Supplement - The Type of Person You Are. [5]

well instead of just listing somewhat related things, STATE the relation and how they have helped you grow/made you who you are. be sure to have some sort of conclusion for each group

well you don't want a floating sentence about sushi so drop or incorporate
and don't just list your favorite whatevers... talk about why you love them and how they have influenced you/affect you

If the reviewer sees "my favorite book is by FRENCH DUDE oh and i've been to thailand AND ecaudor" he'll think you're shallow and didn't gain much from your unusual experiences. Also maybe mention how lucky/grateful you are to be so well traveled... lots of students don't have your opportunities and you don't want to sound like you're taking them for granted. Say WHY you like the places you've been and WHY the different aspects of french culture make you want to visit.

asymptote

Mar 1, 2010

Undergraduate / William & Mary Supplement - The Type of Person You Are. [5]

I have been traumatized by [or terrified of] bicycles ever since.

I really like your voice in this but you're going to need to do some major revision--switching topics like crazy is a little disjointing. It's probably on purpose in order to seem "unique and colorful" but I think you could benefit by putting a some more transitions in and maybe dropping some of the sillier topics.

asymptote

Mar 1, 2010

Undergraduate / 'Think, understand, integrate, and prove' - University: Why Chicago [5]

Also keep in mind that the reviewer of your essay will most likely already be familiar with Ayn Rand; many people have strong feelings about her philosophies and you don't want to alienate anyone.

asymptote

Mar 1, 2010

Undergraduate / study abroad in japan--buddhist art and neuroscience??? [3]

Okay so the program I'm applying for is very short (less than a month) and focuses on japanese art & religion. We will "explore the artistic and religious culture of Japan's mountains and ancient capitals and walk the World Heritage ancient pilgrimage mountain route from A to B" I'm basically worried my essay is way to short, disjointed, and unfocused and I have no idea how to make a nice ending :-(

Please write a short response (of 500- 1000 words) answering the following questions. In your response, consider what strengths you might bring to the program and why the program to which you are applying would want to have you along as a student and member of the group.

- why did you pick this program in particular?
- how does this program suit your academic goals?
- how does this program suit your personal interests?
- in what ways will you contribute to the a) academic, b) cultural and c) group experiences?
- what do you hope to learn and gain from this experience?

I am interested in this program because it sounds like an amazingly unique opportunity to experience the culture and religion of Japan and also appreciate the country's natural beauty. While this program will fulfill some of the requirements for my minor in Japanese, the benefits of this experience would extend far beyond just sharpening my Japanese language skills and receiving a few credits. I haven't had the opportunity to travel outside of the United States yet and I feel that this program will afford a great occasion to raise my global awareness and engage different perspectives. I have always admired Japan's syncretistic treatment of religion and would love to learn more about its foundations first-hand. As an inquisitive person by nature, I am constantly driven to explore and learn new things from the people who surround me and in turn share what I have mastered with my peers. Throughout my life, I have cultivated a desire to both understand and connect with other cultures and their customs, especially Japan's; I harbor a profound respect for these things and am confident that I can impart my feelings of wonder on others.

As a neurobiology major, I am interested in art on a cognitive level and I feel that I can offer a novel perspective to the aesthetic experience of the group. I am also fascinated about the neurological basis of belief and spirituality; I hope to use this experience to further fuel my curiosity. I have read scientific papers that detail the neural mechanisms through which the esoteric rituals of Buddhism-especially meditation and the mudras-can effect neuroplasticity in the brain, even at advanced ages, but I would also like to come to understand these disciplines from a more holistic approach.

My all time favorite hobby is hiking, and while I love the pristine beauty of X State's trails, I am excited to see how it compares to the natural heritage of Japan. something about harmony and spirituality and discovering my own identity? and art