Writing Feedback / Are organisations most successful when members pursue individual wishes and goals? [4]

This is an SAT essay.

Organizations and groups, no matter how many members they consist of, are most successful when the individuals give up personal needs and wants but subordinate to collective needs of the group as a whole. This point can be illustrated in real experiences like the experiment to discover Radium and a classic psychological experiment.

Successful cooperation needs people to consider the interest of the group but not interest of themselves. An impressive example comes from the discovery of radium (Ra) with cooperation between Marie Curie, her husband, Pierre Curie, and another scientist, Dr. Henry. At that time, they agreed to perform individual tasks of the scientific experiment with Pierre conducting the experiment, Marie collecting and selecting the compounds containing Ra and Henry recording and analyzing the data. The National Academy of Science offered Henry and Pierre each a chair as a professor, but they refused them because the position would imprison them in the academy building and teach all day. Their refusal of the well-paid and well-respected job resulted in them to focus on the task they each was responsible for and so Marie, Pierre and Henry were able to do their individual part. Although their experiment took them several years, it was so successful that on a cold snowy morning, they discovered Ra in the end. Had Henry and Pierre not declined to take the position in the Academy, the experiment would not be carried out so successfully.

In addition, a psychological experiment also justifies the importance of giving up personal wishes and goals if the result of the task in the experiment is to be successfully achieved. Several candidates are firstly arranged in a group, each holding one end of a thread in his hand which ties a ball at its other end. The balls are put together in a bottle. When the experiment begins, the members have to pull all the balls out as quickly as possible. Most of the results of this experiment are unsatisfactory-all the balls block the bottleneck but none of them can get out. This is because every member thinks of his own interest, that is, to pull his ball out first, but the overall effect is that all balls are unable to get out. It is the individual interest that restrains the group's interest, and only by sacrificing individual interest can all members get their balls.

In conclusion, members can only contribute to the team if they give up personal interests and wishes but do what the whole group requires them to do. Only team spirit can bring about successful teamwork.

Dear all, I know my English is not that good and this essay probably needs a lot of improvements. Please help me with it!

Writing Feedback / IELTS essay-sports professionals people vs.people in other essential professions [2]

Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There has been some debate over whether athletes should get higher incomings compared with other crucial professions. I tend to support the view that sportsmen and sportswomen deserve to be paid more.

It is understandable that objectors of this issue consider this as unfair. Professional workers, form scientists to hospital staff or lawyers, do mental work which differs from physical work completed by sports players. It is not just to reward them with different levels of income merely because their work is of various kinds. Additionally, experts in these careers contribute to society as like sports professionals, and their valuable work is worth similar remunerations in terms of money.

At the same time, athletes are deserving of high pay. Ｆor one thing, they devote themselves to society and can be an honour to their teams as well as the regions they represent once they win prizes. Such devotion should be repaid in a monetary form, that is, monthly salaries. For another, players only possess a short career life, usually less than 20 years, which means that the time period eligible to gain financial rewards is limited. In the other fields, by contrast, there is no severe span of career life. Hence, more financial rewards are required to cover the time restriction in athletes.

Personally, I reckon that higher payments should be given to sports players, despite the concern of fairness relating to professionals in other areas. They, as a group, do generate numerous honours (to themselves, their teams and the represented areas). Such devotion is permanent in both the action of athletes themselves and the effect on society.

Please help me give it a check:)

Writing Feedback / My essay relating to job satisfaction :) [2]

At most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing.
What factors contribute to job satisfaction?
How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?

Satisfaction obtained from work is considered as a more and more crucial way to achieve happiness. In the following essay, I will look at the contributions to job satisfaction as well as the reality for expectation of job satisfaction to be got.

An employee can feel satisfied by motivation from both financial side and non-financial side. On one hand, money is the most motivating factor financially. Undoubtedly, a high salary or wage rate contributes to job satisfaction as people often feel like being praised with a realistic reward. This is because the level of income in most occasions is regarded as a method to measure one's success. In short, as an effective incentive, money is directly related to job satisfaction. On the other, non- financial remunerations for employees also lead to the degree how they are satisfied from work. This includes short holidays, price reductions for specific products, free accommodation inside the company and so forth. What's more, a satisfying working condition is necessary as well. Just imagine, if the workers work in a house which is full of dangerous machines, disgusting smell of smog and a dark environment without light, it is unlikely for them to be motivated. Therefore, good working conditions are strongly required. In addition, the chance of being recognized especially when being promoted and training programs offered influence job satisfaction as well. Above all, all these factors help employees think that they are cared about by their employers.

A question concerning the reality that job satisfaction is achieved seems obvious. Personally, I reckon that the inability to find suitable jobs arising from either the employee's own incapacity or outside forces like economic conditions usually limits the level of satisfaction. But it's essential that the company try at least. By stimulating them, employees could be more willing to dedicate themselves, and thus productivity could be high.