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Posts by natacha
Joined: May 6, 2010
Last Post: Nov 7, 2010
Threads: 2
Posts: 9  
From: usa

Displayed posts: 11
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natacha   
Oct 22, 2010
Undergraduate / "caught in the porch by my dad, with my boyfriend" - my most embarrasing moment [7]

Hi Kevin.thank you for helping me with the essay.i took exactly ur advice.for example capitalise all the letters after each sentence.rewrite it just as u ask me to do.And today i

gave it to my teacher she said thats exactly what she wanted from me.she also says that my essay has a good struture now,its clear and i had a b+so thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu kevin.ill help other people as well who needs my help from the site.thanks!
natacha   
Oct 15, 2010
Writing Feedback / TOELF Essay "Is it better for children to participate in team sports?" [4]

i wiill definitely put a period after footbal.Capital F in for and a comma after instance.i will put a comma afrer futhermore,....honestly i think its a good essay.i would just suggest you to use a comma ather all the transitional words such as,for instance,aditionnally,for example,moreover,on the other hand,and so one.i think its a good essay.clear idea.good job!
natacha   
Oct 15, 2010
Undergraduate / "caught in the porch by my dad, with my boyfriend" - my most embarrasing moment [7]

hello please save my life .im taking english comp 1
and i did that essay the professor returned me the paper she says i have to use stronger english.and make it look better please help me to rewrite it in good english.all of you guys thank you.

I was caught in the porch by my dad,with my boyfriend when I was 16.And just by writing this down I feel the same shame ,pain ,humiliation embarras just like it was happen yesterday.

I was still liviing with my Dad at the age 16.we were best friends. Two in the house,he trusted me,loved me,cherished me.As the matter of fact,i was his unique , daughter.He never tought that I had boyfriend,but I had one .When he is working ,i had my boyfriend coming over ,so we can spend time together,laugh,play ,talk about our future and so on.One day I knew that he was as often at work.

My boyfriend showed up as usually because of course we both knew my father's schedule.We were sitting at the porsh kissing.Our eyes were closed, when a huge,big mad voice scared us,interrupt us saying :<<oh no no no thats not my natacha ,God tell me iam dreaming.Not my only ,lovely daughter,not the little girl that I have raised .>>We both were shaking.We din't know what to say ,what to do.We were looking at each other not sure if my dad caught us for real.It seemed a dream for me specially.I started to panick.I felt so embarras.My dad was right.what the hell I was doing here said i.Din't he tell me to wait until I was 26 before to start dating?What was wrong with me?

More over,my dad reaction became worst.He was yelling at my boyfriend saying :<<wait and see what you're going to get:>>I said to him,dad what are you going to do?No I wont let you hit him.Why would you do that?No that' s not going to happen.On the other hand, I heard the voice of johny saying:<i love her ,I love her, I will marry her when we become mature.And my dad said no u're a lier, a user, a bad boy. That is all what you are.i'm going to tell your parents what you're doing to my daughter.thus he pushed my boyfriend from his behind ,and he felt on a big roc, that left a big scar under his right eyes until now.That is when I felt such pain. I had heartache ,I cried ,I cried and I cried.I was looking at him on the floor bleeding and he was saying baby no matter what happen to me, I will still love you.If ur dad kill me today because of my love for you ,i willl not regret it.It was really painful for me to deal with that sad situation.I became more and more embarassiong.

finally my dad calm down .He felt sorry for what he did and he was begging for my boyfriend pardon.We both drove him my dad and I,johny to the hospital in emergency.The tree of us were crying .My dad knew what he did was wrong.And arriving at the nursing station ,the nurses was surprise to see that big whole on Johny's face. He ask him:<<gentleman what happen to you ?.do u fall?>>As we bothy were standing in front of the nurse, my boyfriend and I din't know what to answer. I looked at him he looked at me ,and finally he said, our dad discipline me for messing up with his only daughter.Indeed I deserved it.We all cracked up,and the nurse give a dirty look at my dad who was sitting at the lobby with his hand on his chin almost shy.so the nurse drove to the 3thrd floor to take care of him.That's when I felt humiliated.

After all,we were celebrating our 8 years old son birthday . It was in december, my dad was invited.and suddenly my son says to his father:<dad is this our dog who bites you on the face?if yes we need to get rid of it.I can replace it by a horse.I almost cholked .I was more and more embarassing.I looked at

dad and johny and the 3 of us were laughing.Our son din't understand why,but his childish question sent all of us back to the pass.Its been twelve years now.
natacha   
May 15, 2010
Undergraduate / "to save people's life" - what are your goals [8]

OKKKKKKKKK KEVIN FANTASTIC!I REALLY UNDERSTAND HOW I SHOULD WRITE AN ESSAY.I HAVE TO REALATE ALL MY SENTENCES TOGETHER AND WRITE A LOT AND After that read my essays see if it makes sense for me.thank you so much.
natacha   
May 12, 2010
Undergraduate / "to save people's life" - what are your goals [8]

thank you Kevin .now please what do you thinink i should do to write good essays?please give me some advise.im smart in math chemistry and physique.but when it comes to english i have some lacks of ideas.thinks for helping me again.
natacha   
May 7, 2010
Undergraduate / "to save people's life" - what are your goals [8]

what are my goals?
everyone in this world have different goal .we all dream about being something in future,we all have an objectif.for example ,people who dreams about becoming a businnessman has a goal .other people may want to be in different branches .thats their goals.i do have a goal as well.everysince i was little,becoming a nurse ,was somthinng who always fascinate me .knowing that,i started educate myself by now.further more i will have a better career,indeed save people life.

please i want to know if thats a good start for an introduction.im not good at all at writing essays .please give me some advise
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