Posts by nguyenhathu178

nguyenhathu178

Jul 24, 2010

Writing Feedback / Watching movie at the cinema or at home? Discuss and state your opinion. [5]

Hi Yayz, I got it.Thank you so much. I am beginner,so just want to know exactly my mistakes.
I appreciate your help :))

nguyenhathu178

Jul 23, 2010

Writing Feedback / Watching movie at the cinema or at home? Discuss and state your opinion. [5]

Dear Yayz. Thanks for your help. however, I am still confused about your check
- attendance (n) : being present somewhere or the number of people who go to or present at a place
- attendant (n) : a person whose job is to serve or help people in a public place
=> We should use " attendance" in this case. is that right?

- nearly same with " seat" and " seating"
- which ( fried chicken, apple, or beer,) are ...

please reply if you have a different opinion. Thank so much

nguyenhathu178

Jul 23, 2010

Writing Feedback / toefl essay: spending money on supporting art or protecting environment [2]

- what 's more => furthermore or moreover

- rising see level => rising sea level

- have reached the level that are threatening human`s life in many countries => has reached a serious level that threats human's life.

-the ecosystem is worst ever and if we didn`t take harsh measures now, we never would.
=> the ecosystem is becoming worse than before . It is highly likely too late if we do not find efficient measures to solve this problem immediately .

Hope this change will help you.

nguyenhathu178

Jul 23, 2010

Writing Feedback / Watching movie at the cinema or at home? Discuss and state your opinion. [5]

Topic : Watching movie at the cinema or at home? Discuss and state your opinion.

Nowadays, mass media have brought a wide range of choices for people to enjoy classic movie or film which are a phenomenon on cinema industry. Some people argue that watching movie at the cinema is best choice to enjoy all type of movie while many other contend that home is extremely option as well.

Cinema has conducted...

please check the grammar. coherence and cohesion for me. Do I address the question?
Thanks you so much

nguyenhathu178

Jul 23, 2010

Writing Feedback / Not only women but also men have to take care of their children [7]

I think the essay should be had more explanation for each idea instead of giving ideas without example or detail

nguyenhathu178

Jul 22, 2010

Writing Feedback / Preserving its old, historic buildings means respecting the previous generations [5]

That is an interesting essay in my opinion. however, something may be change to make the essay better

1.In 2nd passage.
-the sentence " But the problem is How to preserve it? just write it in the book? Of course not" is probably far from the topic. This causes the passage lacking coherence.

- Every building has its own historical background, especially the old historic buildings from which we can know specifically something about the previous period of history

=>Every building has its own historical background, especially the old historic buildings that help us to know more about the previous period of history.

2.In 4th passage . "responsibility for" instead of "responsibility of".
- On the other hand, we have the responsibility of preserving them to our next generations so that they could have the opportunity to know about their predecessors tangibly.

- On the other hand, keeping the old historic building is the act bringing more opportunity for our next generations to know about their predecessors tangibly.

-In conclusion, the importance of maintaining the historic buildings of a city could outweigh the value of replacing them with modern buildings because of the reasons above.

=>In conclusion, the importance of maintaining the historic buildings of a city could outweigh the value of replacing them with modern buildings. That is the reason why we should preserve instead of replace them.

nguyenhathu178

Jul 22, 2010

Writing Feedback / Making a healthy lifestyle is a responsibility of government or individual.discuss [NEW]

]Many people think it's the government's responsibility to ensure a country has a healthy lifestyle. Others believe it's up to individuals to ensure a healthy lifestyle. Discuss and state your opinion. Include relevant examples from your country.

I wrote this essay to prepare for my Ielts test. Please check it for me.thanks for your help.

Today, as society is developing more and more, living standard are better and better, a good lifestyle plays a vital role in modern life. Some people argue that making a healthy lifestyle is a responsibility of government while others think individual should care about this for themselves.

A healthy lifestyle is defined as a fresh environment, a good infrastructure that have a numerous of parks, zoos and enjoyable places, a fundamental medical services and strong economic. All of these things need the hand of government and also government can make them better. Thus, bringing a healthy lifestyle is a responsibility of government. It is highly likely that people have a healthy lifestyle with the help of government power. The most significant proof of this is people obtain awareness on protecting environment due to the legislation; edifices were built to server the demand of people, parks or other entertainment help people relax and reduce stress.

However, not only government but also individual should be taken responsibility for making a healthy lifestyle. It will be no sense if fresh environment or beautiful places like parks that are made by the best of government are destroyed by human activities. Furthermore, a healthy lifestyle is made if each person is respectful with all good service such as medical programs, education from government. They probably encourage but can not decide instead of their citizen for preserving a healthy lifestyle.

All in all, in my way of thinking, making a healthy lifestyle is responsibility of both government and individual. A healthy lifestyle can not be made without either government or each citizen.