Undergraduate / Peace Corps essay-"Describe living in a social cultural environment different.." [6]

Any critique or advice will help, thank you.

Describe an experience you have had in living or working in a social or cultural environment different from your own. What specific challenges did you face concerning trust, confidence, and/or integration? What did you learn from this experience that you will bring with you to your Peace Corps service?

It is one thing to be an American with Pakistani roots visiting your parents' home country on vacations, and a completely different thing to live there. I grew up in a household with Pakistani culture in America, but when I moved abroad I soon realized how different the cultural environment really was. I temporarily moved with my mom who wanted to live closer to her family for awhile, while my dad and sister stayed behind. I had to establish a new life in a place where I did not have my safety net.

I attended a private school affiliated with the University of Cambridge but one with no air conditioning in the classrooms. I was given a crash course in Pakistan geography, history, and Urdu, surrounded by students and teachers whose education system was different from what I had known. As the new girl from America, all eyes were on me and I felt everyone saw me as "Americanized" and unaware of my cultural roots. In some ways I was, so I worked hard at building relationships with other sand integrating myself in every aspect of this new environment. In school I participated in as many projects as I could such as assisting with (writing and producing)our class school play and doing community service working with underprivileged kids in public schools I introduced the concept of the yearbook at my school, and created it together with other students. I never would have imagined how much I would bond and connect with the people around me and cherish such a special experience.

I completely absorbed the culture in a city like Karachi, the heart of the nation. It is a diverse mega-city, full of traffic, hustle and bustle, and people of all kinds of nationalities. The modern city's hullabaloo gave me courage to go to the markets on my own as a female, interacting with locals and negotiating with vendors. And I will never forget being in Karachi on 9/11, my school had a moment of silence at assembly, and everywhere on the streets people were glued to television screens at local shops. At that moment being an American in Pakistan I felt sadness and union in the air and did not feel detached from my homeland, and found support and comfort in my new location.

I knew when I left Pakistan I wanted to go back and travel to other places around the world. I had a thirst of experiencing new things after that. The more you learn about other cultures, the more you learn about yourself. Living in Karachi gave me the push and confidence to jump into unfamiliar territories, to discover ways to connect with the people and projects I came across.

I would love to take it to the next level as a Peace Corps member. It will be the ultimate experience for me to showcase my zeal for new adventures and building trust with other cultures.

Undergraduate / "reaching out to others has benefited me" - Peace Corps admission essay help :) [6]

I would love any advice and feedback I can get for this essay, I need fresh eyes to help point out anything that I have missed. I feel my intro paragraph isn't so strong, I'm having difficulty making it sound solid. Thank you in advance!!!

- Your reasons for wanting to serve as a Peace Corps Volunteer; and
- How these reasons are related to your past experiences and life goals.
- How you expect to satisfy the Peace Corps 10 Core Expectations (please be specific about which expectations you expect to find most challenging and how you plan to overcome these challenges).

As a college graduate I have discovered how reaching out to others has benefited me. Born and raised in America, I got to live in my parents' home country Pakistan for two years during high school where I got a lot of exposure to the culture. It was a familiar but foreign place, my first experience of mixing into a diverse community and learning to engage with the community I surrounded myself with. After much reflection on what I want to do after college and how I can offer help to others on a global scale, I feel serving as a Peace Corps Volunteer would be a perfect opportunity where I can be part of the process of interacting in a new culture.

As a Cultural Studies major, I recognize the importance of exploring different cultures and have a deep understanding and knowledge of thinking critically and analytically in political, historical, and social contexts. With a Global Studies minor, focusing on global issues let me explore the globalized world and the intercommunication of ideas and people from all over. So knowingly, Peace Corps would be a perfect opportunity to make greater use of my academics. I look forward to not only live in another culture but meet people whom I would never get to interact with back home, putting myself in situations which will help me make decisions which will allow me to grow as a well cultured and global citizen.

The Core Expectations are all challenging yet practical to fulfill. The most challenging one would be the third one, serving in a country where conditions of hardships are likely, requiring me to be flexible. But I know that being on my own and serving the Peace Corps will be worthwhile. I will be immersed in a new environment where I will build new relationships with other volunteers and people in the community I will serve. I always had a strong curiosity of going to unfamiliar places, pushing myself to travel and engage with others from different backgrounds. Though Pakistan is a country under conditions of hardship, I focused on the positive aspects of living there. I represented America as a Pakistani-American by sharing my culture and tradition with classmates and teachers. I got the opportunity to interact with locals, going to places on my own, and learning new skills and ways to communicate with Pakistan's working class. Living in Pakistan helped me develop cross-cultural skills and the ability to improve on my Urdu, quickly learning to read and write it.

It is for that reason the third expectation of the Peace Corps is the one I want to succeed, serving the host country the best way I can. This expectation represents my reasons for wanting to join the Peace Corps and, while I know that the work may prove to be arduous, I have never before looked so readily upon a mission. I would be honored to count myself among a future Peace Corps member.