Posts by tulalipangel

tulalipangel

Jun 18, 2010

Writing Feedback / It is a paragraph, Are Zoos morally wrong? [10]

I can understand what side of the argument you are on, but I believe your support needs to be more concrete. The part about the treatment of zoo animals and relating it to house hold pets should be left out. I would discuss the protection of endangered species, and give a specific example of a group of animals that are in recovery because of the protection. I would discuss how some zoo animals were found wounded and healed back to health, but they were no longer able to survive in the wild, so they were placed in a zoo for their own well being. Also, discuss the importance of examining these creatures upclose because it allows agencies to be able to protect and understand what the animal needs to survive. Zoos give us a sense of curiosity, and a need to preserve the animals left in the world.

I hope this helps.

tulalipangel

Jun 18, 2010

Poetry / a poem of the senses + an acrostic poem - assignment on poems [6]

This poem of the senses should not be too hard. I would discuss an event that would require all of your senses and just make it flow.

Example:

discuss a rain storm...see clouds...feel rain...taste the rain..hear thunder..smell fresh air
or a day at the park...see children...feel sunshine...hear laughter...smell flowers...taste what is in the picnic basket

Just take this concept and expand on the details or maybe apply two examples of what you see,hear, smell, taste, and touch. Plus, make sure it flows with rythme.

I hope this helps a little.

tulalipangel

Jun 18, 2010

Scholarship / Becoming a diabetic nurse: explanation of educational goals for a scholarship app. [3]

Hi! I am applying for a scholarship and I have not done this in ten years so I need some assistance. I need to explain my educational goals. Here is my rough draft:

To: LASCO
From: Angelica Paquin

Greetings! My name is Angelica Paquin, and I am a mother of three talented and intelligent children. My purpose for returning to school is to recapture a dream that I once had about ten years ago. As I was graduating from high school in the year 2000, my future appeared very bright. I was the valedictorian of all graduating American Indian students in Washington State that year, a member of honor society, a participant in several competitive internships, and the recipient of a full academic scholarship to the University of Washington. However, everything did not play out the way I had imagined it. I fell in love, and I became pregnant, and I dropped out of school with the intention of returning as soon as possible. Well, I did not return to school until this year.

I am glad that I have had a chance to experience life before I stepped back into a classroom because I am sure about what I want to become and that is a registered nurse! I have been working with the public for the last 13 years, and I care about people. However, this is not the only reason. My dad is a diabetic, and I have witnessed his health deteriorate before my eyes for the last 15 years. My father has lost a leg and five fingers to diabetes, and I wished that I had the knowledge and tools to help him fight this disease. Now, I intend to gain the skills necessary to assist my father and other diabetics in their struggle.

I not only want to become a registered nurse, but I want to become a diabetic nurse. I plan to complete the nursing program offered at TCC, and transfer to the University of Washington-Tacoma. At the UW-Tacoma, I plan to enter their accelerated RN to BSN program, so I can obtain my bachelors degree in nursing. Then, I would like to continue my education and become a specialized diabetic nurse. I have a long road ahead, but I know I can do it!

I have overcome many obstacles in my life so far, from being single a mother to caring for a sick parent to keeping a roof over my family's head. Furthering my education is not an obstacle for me because I see it as a pathway to a new beginning. Learning new information is a passion of mine, and I want to learn as much as I can. This scholarship will help me gain intelligence, a degree, and a career. With this scholarship, I will accomplish my dream.

Exact instructions: Please include a cover letter that explains a little about your educational goals.