Posts by riskirider

riskirider

Aug 16, 2010

Undergraduate / Challenge or experience that helped you learn what is important to you [12]

everyone faces some sort of challenge, be it an illness, a sport you like to play, a hobby, even a mayonnaise jar you're having trouble opening, or your favorite video game...there is no such thing as an inapplicable topic you can always find something to draw on

post a topic or 2 I will help you brainstorm

riskirider

Aug 16, 2010

Letters / College Resume...I am having difficulty understanding the exact formulation [7]

Competencies

How do these sound? They are ind of generic to me...
-Academically Prepared
-Community Focused
-Dynamic Leader
-Goal Oriented
-Self Aware

Education

High School, , New Jersey 2007-2011
Class of 2011

Volunteer Service

Hours
FTHS Octagon Club 5
Habitat for Humanity 24
Missionaries of Charity 64
Monmouth County Food Bank 25
New Jersey Tree Foundation 12
Northern Wales Restoration Project 20
Pinwheels for Peace 10
Relay For Life 14
Saint Anthony Claret Clothing Bank 10
Special Needs Carnival @ St. Aloysius Church 12
Youth Group Related Activities + 440

*volunteering took place over the course of 4 years Total: 636 Hours

Activities
St. Aloysius Youth Group 2006-Present
-Activity Coordinator
-Young Adult Leader

People to People Student Ambassador 2007- Present

Octagon Club 2009-Present

DECA
-1st Place Overall - Hospitality and Tourism 2010

Howell Point Swim Team 2010
-Most Valuable Player

Simple Faith Leadership Award
-exemplary involvement in the community and demonstration of leadership qualities in and out of school

riskirider

Aug 16, 2010

Undergraduate / My Trip Across The Pond....diverse perspective [6]

layne001 how would you recommend moving my quote to the last paragraph? I am kind of stuck

thank you for the comments they were very helpful

riskirider

Aug 15, 2010

Undergraduate / "the nerdy Asian kid" 'My world' life long education and my American dream. [4]

I am the personification of the most well know stereotypes, a nerd, and to make matters worse I'm asian. People ask, "why do you try so hard?' How can I not? I am not only the reflection of myself, I am more than that. I am a reflection of the people who raised me and love me most, my mother and father. I hold the key to the future, sculpted by the people closest to me.

sorry i kind of let my creative license get out of hand...your essay sounds great though lol great story

for future reference :
oh like i said always write in the active voice, it is so important when writing expository essays because t helps set the tone for the writing response. passive voice puts a time limit on your writing not the idea of this kind of writing form.

also don't be afraid to elaborate on you details that is what makes your composition different form the thousands of other applications out there :)

and i also noticed that your sentence composition is for the the most part good the structure just needs to be flipped...you will notice i did that in some places...and you need to structure your paragraphs in time order

sometimes it helps to read out loud your sentences and entire composition in a fancy british accent...it seems to me that your vietnamese dialect is shining through in your writing....it feels a little silly but talking in the accent helps to clarify the sentence structure (listen to yourself) if the sentences make no sense out loud then they need to be revised on paper

riskirider

Aug 15, 2010

Undergraduate / My Trip Across The Pond....diverse perspective [6]

Describe range of academic interests, personal perspectives, and life experiences adds much to the educational mix. Given your personal background, describe an experience that illustrates what you would bring to the diversity in a college community, or an encounter that demonstrated the importance of diversity to you.

In reflecting on the events of my life, none have impacted me more than my trip "across the pond". It was mid November when I received a brochure from People to People Student Ambassador Programs to join them for the experience of a lifetime. Along with students from my surrounding area I experienced global immersion. Ireland was a place that I had always wanted to go through out my short young life. I took initiative to enroll in the program and attend an information meeting. I was captivated by every aspect of the presentation, the itinerary opened up a window of opportunity unavailable to the regular traveler. As Student Ambassadors we were more than that; we represented the best of the best of student travel.

This trip was a pathway into my intellectual puberty. From the first month that preparation began to our final days abroad, life obstacles seemed to fade beneath my feet. Melting into my character with each step, In preparation I attended state briefings with senators, and political delegates as well as classroom based lessons concentrating on the various aspects that compose a country. These distinct opportunities whisked me away into another world; unattainable for the "average" thirteen year old. Each additional piece of information conceived my worldly outlook and broadened my view on knowledge itself. more importantly i adopted the philosophy that there is no better way to do something than to witness it first hand, taking education out of the classroom.

A great Doctor of the Catholic Church, Saint Augustine of Hippo is famously quoted with saying, " The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page." I find inspiration in the great theologian's words, exploring the unique characteristics around the world provides direct insight. Similar to how a great book provides a view into a cultures customs and unique society. Knowledge is limited, when only one single excerpt from a book is read, it is hardly a taste of what is yet to be explored. The knowledge I learned by direct immersion in the Emerald Isles was incomparable to any lesson in a classroom.

Now as a door begins to close on my adolescence I have learned to react and express myself in reasonable proportion. My travel experiences have acted as a pivotal gateway in the classroom. I was gifted with a life long opportunity to travel to Ireland, England and Wales for a unique travel experience. The knowledge I have gained has helped me to connect many lessons in the classroom and springboard to new learning. I am certain that this diverse perspective will not only help me adapt to the challenges of college life but also bring an element of insight and freshness to my future college friendships and classrooms.