Undergraduate / Interest in Medicine/Rutgers Essay [5]

Hello fellow essayforum members.
I need your help. Please tell me on how I could improve this essay.
Any critiques are welcome.
Thank you in advance.

Rutgers University is a vibrant community of people with a wide variety of backgrounds and experiences. How would you benefit from and contribute to such an environment? Consider variables such as your talents, travels, leadership activities, volunteer services, and cultural experiences. Only personal essays submitted via our website will be considered. You may enter a maximum of 3800 characters including spaces.

"Trust me, this will be a wonderful experience." My mother said. I didn't know what to expect. As I approached the door, my eyes detected a very old woman, around 90 years of age. As we entered, the old woman exclaimed, "Please let me leave! I need to pick up my children from school." My mother answered, "Don't worry Tanya, your husband has already picked them up." I didn't really understand why the lady said she needed to pick up her children, until later on in the day. My mother explained to me that the old woman had a severe stage of Alzheimer's. At that time, I didn't know any of this medical jargon, I don't think any seven year old knows what Alzheimer's is. I soon came to know that this was a Nursing home, filled with elderly people who have all sorts of physiological problems. Of course I didn't know how to help the people out, but after a month or two constantly spending time with the elderly, their mood's started to lighten up. Some saw me as a son, while others saw me as a grandson. I played with them, ate with them, and even napped with them. Constantly keeping them company seemed to make them less stressed and feel like they're at home. I then realized that not having any family members to support them really took a toll on them. I fell in love with taking care of them.

One evening my parents announced that we won the green card and were planning to move from Israel to the United States. Fear struck me like a lightning bolt hitting a tree. After questioning and scolding my mother for leaving her job, she explained to me that America would provide better opportunities for the whole family. My interest in medicine abruptly ended until I was 13 and found the opportunity to volunteer at Coney Island Hospital. I first started off completing all sorts of clerical work such as organizing patient charts and notes. I attended physiology and anatomy courses that the volunteer department set up, and it all led up to taking the volunteer nurse assistant examination. I would unlock the ability to care for the patients on the units such as taking vital signs, making their beds, and simply just keeping them company. The patients always had a lot of gratitude for me. They seemed to recover much more quickly than patients who had nobody to interact with. I realized how extra attention can really make a patient's day. Being able to help people who are sick is the most fulfilling career I could imagine pursuing. Due to this opportunity, I have developed a strong work ethic and I know that in order to be truly happy with my life, I will need a career that I love. Because of all of these experiences, I believe I would be a perfect fit for Rutgers. Not only will I be able to adapt to the diverse population on campus, but I would also give back to the community of Rutgers with my immense fervor and infatuation for volunteering.

Undergraduate / "Potential problems" - Evaluate a significant experience, achievement [6]

Hello fellow Essayforum members. I wanted to receive some feedback about my essay and if it fits the criteria.
Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.
-thanks in advance.

We have all certainly heard at some point about people who reach the end of their lives and regret the fact that they never took any risks, and that they never challenged life. Andre Gide once said, "Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore." Risks make us grow in many ways; they help us to mature and to learn and to become stronger, wiser people than we were before we took the risk. In particular, one ...

after edits:

One event in my life that involved taking a risk had a tremendous impact on me, because it made me realize that some risks are worth not taking, but also opened my eyes to show me that some risks that are not taken can be just as bad. On January 23, 2008, My friend and I drove to Hunter Mountain for some intense skiing sessions. We strapped on all of our gear, and got ready to set out on one of the most supposedly exciting days of our lives. But, that's not what was in store for me.

My friend had been nagging the whole time about the terrain park. The terrain park consisted of jumps, rails, and a huge half pipe. He wanted to ski down this slope under one condition, if it was with me. I was strictly against going onto the terrain park. After seeing people wipe out on rails and crack their helmets open, I swore to myself that I would never go on. The right side of my brain was saying that it was a bad idea, while the left kept telling me that it would be a cool experience. So I took the risk. I decided to go on the terrain park because it was something I had to try sooner or later. I executed my decision and went onto the lift.

The ski ride down was amazing. I managed to get decent air over a couple jumps and then rode up to a box. I grinded down the box like it was nothing. This was my first grind I had ever done. I was psyched. After we skied down the rest of the slope we sat down onto the snow and felt accomplished. But, I wanted more. I wanted to go back to the box and grind it again. This is where my decision making skills went terribly wrong. . We skied down to the box. I prepared myself and propped up on to the box. I slid down the box and as I was preparing to jump off I leaned forward too much and lost my center of gravity. I pummeled into the snow face first with the ski pole right under me and all I saw was white. I heard a devastating crack and I knew that something went terribly wrong. I let out one of the most vicious screams as I laid on the sub zero snow unable to move. Allen quickly ran down to me. Thankfully, I crew of mountain patrol medics were right behind us. "Help! My friend is seriously hurt! Over here! Hurry!" Allen yelled out as I laid on the ice screaming helplessly. I turned to lie on my back. I gave Allen my phone and told him to call my parents."Hi, Dmitri? Yea, Boris just hurt himself pretty bad. Yea, he's in a lot of pain. We'll meet you by the lodge." Allen said to my father. My hands were beginning to become numb.

I squirmed around on the snow like a worm. The pain was excruciating. The medic helped me stand up and assessed me. A sharp pain was coming from the area of my shoulder. I knew that I had definitely broken something. The medic told me to raise my arm as high as I could. As I started to raise it, I heard grinding sounds and then felt a sharp pain as if I took a jack hammer to the shoulder. Tears started to roll down my cheek. I felt really bad and everything started to black out. I was about to faint. I asked the medic if I could lie back down on the snow until the sled came down to transport me. As I lay down the pain soothed, as the snow acted as an anesthetic.

The medic strapped me into a sled that felt like a sleeping bag. "I'll meet you at the bottom. Stay strong." Allen said. I felt like a totaled car being towed down the slope by a snow mobile. My guilty conscience had started to set in. I should have listened to my parents. I had no business of going onto the terrain park, especially a second time. If only I had listened. The ride to the lodge was so smooth and relaxing. It was as if I was lying in a cozy sleeping bag. I closed my eyes to relax a little. As we pulled up to the lodge, I opened my eyes and saw my parents hovering above me. I had frozen tears on my cheek. The look on my parents face was disappointed.

I was wheeled into the emergency room. The doctor said that I had dislocated my collar bone. It was a huge sigh of relief that I hadn't broken anything until he said that the bone might have tangled up important arteries running next to it and that I needed to get an MRI to see if any arteries were damaged. I was loaded into my parent's car, and we were back to crappy Brooklyn. I remained confined to my computer chair for the next week, because it was too painful to sleep lying down, so I had to sleep sitting up.

This whole experience brought to my attention that one must enter a risk with their eyes wide open and be fully aware of the potential problems that could arise as results of their risk-taking. I figured out that when one's faced with an opportunity to take a risk, it is wise to go over the risk and possible outcomes, because a risk not taken can be just as disastrous as a poorly considered risk. I have learned that risks have the potential to be our greatest teachers, our strongest benefactors, and our best friends. It all depends on how we approach them.