Undergraduate / "Summer Engineering Seminar and the will to never give up" - UC Promt # 2 [8]

Prompt:Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

I have always heard the words "never give up" and I thought I knew what they truly meant, but I was wrong. Sure, I have never given up in many things like last-minute English essays or devotedly practicing for a soccer championship, but I have only recently come to understand the true meaning of these words.

I was fortunate enough to be selected to attend the fully sponsored Summer Engineering Seminar (SES) at Santa Clara University this summer. During this one week exploration of the various types of Engineering and its applications, we undertook courses in fields ranging from Electrical Engineering to Civil Engineering. We also took several elective courses including an Introduction to Nanotechnology, Robotics, and Renewable Energy. To further put our skills to the test, we competed in various engineering competitions every night. These competitions ranged anywhere from building a duck tape hammock to constructing a potato catapult. Whether for good or bad, my team and I never won a competition, and by the end of the week I was disappointed and eager to prove my abilities as an Engineer. Besides, I really wanted the red LED light all the winners got.

On the third day we were finally assigned the "grand" project, to build a rubber band powered device to transport a single quarter. Many of us thought little of it and considered the project trivial, but we would soon learn otherwise. We were simply given a square sheet of cardboard, paperclips, a straw, tape, the rubber band, and of course a quarter with which to construct our devices. Over the course of the next three days, my group and I experimented with various designs including the obvious car-type design, but it was all in vain. It was then that we had a marvelous idea-simplicity. We decided to follow this concept and brainstormed various designs and, as is likely to happen in a group of five engineering loving boys, we finally decided to build a slingshot type device. The design was indeed simple, a cardboard encased quarter, to increase traction, was attached to a rubber band and we were in business. While our previous models generally stopped after traveling about ten feet, our new model just kept going until the quarter finally skid to at stop after more than 29 feet. It was then that a horrible "what if" struck our minds, "what if, our new design didn't fit in the rules!"

The next day we quickly went to talk to our Engineering Design professor after class and even he seemed a bit awe-struck at the sheer simplicity of our design. After reading the rules thoroughly, his verdict was that our design lacked sufficient use of any materials except the rubber band. We were shattered, but not for long, I had a brilliant idea and asked the professor if our device would be eligible if we just used more cardboard and after thinking about it again he said that was fine. My idea was inspired by an atom, so we put the quarter in the middle of a piece of circular cardboard and attached five more circles together using cut out inserts. We then covered the entire "Atom" with tape to reduce friction and compensate for the empty spaces between the circle halves. So come Friday morning, my group was prepared to finally win. While the average distance traveled for the other groups' devices was less than 25 feet, my group's device traveled more than 50 feet before finally hitting the back wall. A roar of cheers went up as our "Atom Slingshot", as we called it, hit the wall and we were finally winners.

Sure, the huge bag of prizes and the LED light were great and more than made up for not winning all week, but the lesson learned was even more valuable. I could have given up after my third failure but I kept going, if only for the LED light, but once the final day had ended and I was victorious, I finally appreciated the lesson I had learnt. I will never give up on my goal of being an Engineer because by persevering, I will overcome any and all obstacles between me and my goals.

Mostly I need help cutting down the word count because my first UC essay is kind long too, so thats a major issue right now. Other than that it's mostly a issue of if it makes sense or not and if the essay really tells the speaker about me. Thanks a Lot

Undergraduate / "My Enviornment: Family, Culture, and School" - UC Prompt 1 [16]

Prompt:Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

The environment from which one comes from determines a person's respective personalities and qualities. In the same way, the environment from which I come from has helped determine not only my personality and qualities, but also my dreams and aspirations. My environment consists not only of my family and school but also of a harmonious balance between my Indian and American cultures. There's an old saying that summarizes this concept, "one who stays near vermilion gets stained red, and one who stays near ink gets stained black".

I consider myself "lucky" because I've always been able to stay near good vermillion, my parents. My parents have not only helped me stay focused on my schoolwork, but have also instilled in a diverse Indian culture which has harmoniously blended with my American values to define me as who I am today. My American culture has come easily enough over the course of many years, but my Indian culture is a different issue altogether. Although the threat of being punished for not speaking Telugu (my mother tongue) at home is often aggravating, I began to comprehend its value when my family and I went to India two summers ago and I saw how pleasantly surprised my grandparents, relatives, and friends were that I could speak Telugu and knew my traditions so well. The traditions and values that were passed on and instilled in me by my parents have taught me to be proud of my priceless heritage.

My father has been one of my greatest sources of inspiration. I found it bothersome to be woken up at 4:00 in morning by the sound of my father talking on the phone with a client in Europe or Asia in the other room, but I now understand that he works so hard so that my sister and I may have a better life than he did. As the second oldest child of five, my father had to start taking care of his family of seven at a very young age and because of financial shortcomings he had to abandon his dream of studying medicine. He took my family and left India for America to not only secure a better life for us, but to also give me and my sister a head start in life, a luxury I don't plan on wasting. The story of my father's struggle continues to inspire me and has taught me to be determined, aspiring, and most importantly to never give up.

My schooling plays an important role in my life. I value the amazing opportunity I have to be studying in America, an opportunity that even some of the best students in India do not have. My education not only gives me a rigorous academic instruction, but also instills in me a sense of self-confidence, creativity, optimism, and humility. This has allowed me to explore the various academic opportunities available to me such that my school has been a launching pad for my dreams and aspirations. The simple freedom of being able to choose between Chemistry and Physics has been instrumental in leading me to my dream of being an engineer. Now when I prepare for a shot during soccer practice, I immediately pay attention to the angle of my foot and after kicking the ball I take notice of the curve created by the ball's motion and try to calculate its acceleration. After the shot scores or fails I wonder why it did what it did. This curiosity and inquisitive nature have made me who I am today and will define me as the engineer I will one day be.

My environment has shaped me into who I am now and might one day become. My parents, my culture, and my school have taught me the value of hard work, determination, confidence, and the most importantly the courage to never give up. It is with these values that I will pursue my dreams and aspirations in college and in life.

My only major worries regarding my essay are that it is a bit broad, but I think that all of these factors are important in describing me. Also I'm at 752 words, which is okay but that only leaves me with about 250 or so words for my second essay, so anything you guys thing can help limit word count would be very helpful.

THANKS A LOT!