Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by kal
Joined: Sep 8, 2010
Last Post: Sep 15, 2010
Threads: 2
Posts: 7  

From: Sri Lanka

Displayed posts: 9
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kal   
Sep 15, 2010
Writing Feedback / Advertising encourages people to buy things or not [3]

Appreciate if you could provide me with a feed back on the following;

Question: Do you think that advertising encourages people to buy things
that they don't want?


Advertising is a form of communication intended to persuade an audience such as viewers, readers or listeners to purchase or perform some action upon products, ideals, or services. It has become a very powerful marketing tool today due to its ability to communicate an idea to a mass audience using the mass media. Therefore many businesses today use advertising to increase consumption of their products or services, to build their brand image among consumers and to face the competition. Advertising is an effective tool to keep people aware of the facts and details about the products/ services available in the market. However the way it is used by the businesses is subjected to high criticism.

Businesses operate with the motive of profit maximization. Therefore we can often see that they tend to exploit the power of advertising to convey misleading ideas merely to capture the market and make profits. The weaknesses of human mind are frequently exploited by such advertisers to influence people to purchase things they actually do not wish to buy. For example consider the product that is deemed undesirable for health such as cigarettes. Obviously everybody knows smoking can cause serious illnesses. However when a cigarette company sponsors a popular sporting , it inadvertently promotes smoking to the public. Even a person who is determined to stop smoking due to its ill effects on his health would be reminded by such advertising and thereby tempted to smoke.

Children are another most vulnerable segment in the society who gets carried away by advertisements. Advertisers tap young minds very cleverly and the parents find it very hard to prevent their children from this danger. For example, fast foods are becoming increasingly popular among children today mainly because of advertising. Although the parents know that fast foods do not provide a balanced nutritious diet, they are helpless before the demands of their children on food.

Advertising impacts on decisions taken by adults on their day to day lives as well. Many companies carry out sales promotions either to penetrate into the market or to face severe competition. They communicate such promotions to the public using advertisements. When such promotions take place adults too are prone to change their decisions or to take new decisions. For example, when an airline announces an attractive cut-rate on air travel, some adults may suddenly plan trips to take advantage of that promotion. However such a trip would have not been made unless the promotion would have not been there.

Considering the power of advertising and the way it has been used by the businesses, I conclude that the statement, "Advertising encourages people to buy things they do not want", is true. However I must also stress that advertising also favor the public by making awareness about the products and services in the market.
kal   
Sep 13, 2010
Writing Feedback / Generation gap: your generation is different from your parents' generation? [5]

Dear Kevin.
Thanks for the advise, but I'm now a little bit confused.
I tried to highlight the differences between my generation and my parent's. I also wanted to stress that these differences are so vast between our two generations than ever before. And that was the reason why we often failed to understand each other. I thought this is what required by the topic. May be the way I have worded it is confusing the reader or????

Anyway I'm soconfused now. Could you kindly explain a bit more?
Thanks
Suven
kal   
Sep 12, 2010
Undergraduate / "Raised in Canada and my father" - feedback on my approach to a Personal Statement [4]

I find some grammer mistakes in the first paragraph;
An important influence on my life whothat shaped much of who I am today was my father. He was a mechanic but our family struggled to make ends meet. However, life would changechanged when my older sister had heart failures. The surgeons did everything inwithin their power to help her but within just few days she had passed onaway . While I was too young to remember my sister.tThese This eventshad changed my father and ledhe began tohim to pursue a career in medicine. For During the next seven years I watched as my father struggledstrugglingthroughat the University, ;staying up late at night as he studied for tests , or would working graveyard shifts in the hospital graveyards until he finished his residency to become a family physician. (consider re-writing this sentence as it is too long and your idea doesn't flow properly) . It was a very stressful time infor our family asdue to short of fundswere short . My mother began working once I was old enough forto be at the day care.While growing up I learnt which gave me the opportunity to learn the values of hard work and dedication from both my parents growing up .

I feel that you should rewrite this para as it is the opening paragraph. Try to arrange ideas again to give it a better flow .
kal   
Sep 11, 2010
Writing Feedback / TOEFL - 'Meng Zi Story'; Classmates are a more important influence [4]

I have a few suggestions;
When it comes to whether classmates exert more influence than parents on a child's success in school, I would claim that parents play a more significant role;

I certainly believe that parents play a more important role than classmates on a child's success in school.

I think you better improve the second paragraph as it is not very clear what you really mean.
kal   
Sep 9, 2010
Writing Feedback / 'destroyed pleasures'; Childhood is the happiest time of a person's life [8]

Hi,
Could you kindly give me a feedback on my following essay.

TOEFL ESSAY; CHILDHOOD IS THE HAPPIEST TIME OF A PERSON'S LIFE

Though many are of the view that childhood is the happiest time of a person's life I do not think we can generalize it is so. Of cause childhood is a very enjoyable phase in a man's life which is free from many responsibilities and challenges of the adulthood. However I believe there are several conditions that need to be satisfied for a happy childhood.

First and foremost, a child should have loving and caring parents who could provide physical, emotional, social and intellectual needs of their child. How many children have such parents today? There are thousands of children raised by foster homes or orphanages. Most of these children have never experienced the love of their mothers or fathers. In fact many a them even do not know who their parents are. These children are often deprived from many privileges and rights of a normal child. We could also see that the numbers of single parents are ever increasing due to various socio economic reasons. It is a known fact that single parents have to struggle hard to raise their children without the help of their partner and in most cases they fail to provide necessary requirements of their children, especially with respect to emotional factors.

The security of the child is another important factor that decides whether the childhood is a happy one or not. In my country there was a civil war which spanned for thirty years and fortunately became to an end in the last year. The children who were born during these thirty years of war were raised under its dark shadows. In most families, the fathers had to join the army to fight against the terrorists. Many did not return home leaving endless problems for their families. There were frequent bomb blasts directed on civilians by the terrorists and in many instances children were victims. Also the children in the areas under terrorist control were abducted by the terrorists to strengthen their carders. These children were completely deprived from all their rights as children. They were neither allowed to be with their loved ones nor to attend school. Instead they were given a gun and trained to fire at the enemy. They were taught to hate not to love. How can we say that the childhood is the happiest time for such children?

Poverty is another factor that deprives children from enjoying their childhood. In my country, the children of poor families undergo enormous difficulties. Some parents struggle to provide them even the main three meals. Although we have a free education system some children are forced to give up school in order to support their family budget. Some even start working at tender age.

Even among the rich educated families, some parents make the childhood miserable for their children because of their over ambitiousness. These parents have grand plans for their children and in most instances such plans add enormous pressure on their children destroying their childhood pleasures.

Therefore my conclusion is childhood is not the happiest time for every person's life though it may be the happiest for many who are lucky enough.
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