brlee82
Sep 22, 2010
Writing Feedback / Learning with teachers or learning by ourselves. Which do you prefer? [2]
I believe that it is always good to present both sides first, then appeal your idea. You made your conclusion in the first paragraph already but why don't you start with general ideas and break it down? Then, you should present pros and cons on both sides.
Also, In your writing,
Firstly, secondly -> advantages about "Learning with teachers"
Finally-> disadvantage about "Studying ourselves"
It seems like a bit lack of back up.
I hope my small ideas help you a bit.
Have a nice day :-)
I believe that it is always good to present both sides first, then appeal your idea. You made your conclusion in the first paragraph already but why don't you start with general ideas and break it down? Then, you should present pros and cons on both sides.
Also, In your writing,
Firstly, secondly -> advantages about "Learning with teachers"
Finally-> disadvantage about "Studying ourselves"
It seems like a bit lack of back up.
I hope my small ideas help you a bit.
Have a nice day :-)