Undergraduate / "friendships with my co-workers" + "interest in WPI" -Short Answer + WPI Supplemental [2]

Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (150 words or fewer).

It was the summer leading into my junior year and I had just turned sixteen. I decided that wanted to start paying for my own things rather than having my parents support me, and it was never too early or too late to start saving money for college and driving lessons. Tropical Smoothie Café had just opened and I was hired as part of the first crew. It wasn't your typical fast food restaurant; were very personal towards customers, we even used their names. I had put myself in an environment with many people younger and older than I, and I learned how to cooperate with them. Over time I developed deep friendships with my co-workers who I had not known before I started working, we were like family. Now after a year has passed, I still cherish these friendships and have a better idea of what the real world is like.

Does this seem boring? I put more emphasis on what I learned from it than the actual job itself. Also, does it suffer from vagueness, repetition, clichés, egotism, or over-intricate vocabulary? (I'm just reading off a list of common mistakes)

How did you become interested in WPI?
(IMGD stand for Interactive Media and Game Development)

I had heard only good things about WPI and after researching it online I was impressed to say the least. I noticed the IMGD program and it amazed me how perfect a match this would be for my interest of making video games. I was astounded after reading about the attention from Curt Schilling and other gaming companies; I knew I had to visit. After touring the beautiful campus, seeing the IMGD computer labs, and meeting the hospitable alumni, I knew that this was the only college for me. I am prepared to commit myself to WPI because I know that when I graduate, it would have set me up with a good job and a good life for me and my future family.

I hope to give a strong impression that I really want to go and have done my research. Also, check for vagueness, not answering the question, a materialistic tone, and an over-privileged tone.

Thanks for any feedback! =)

Undergraduate / "I think about my upcoming life" - Overcoming a challenge, application essay for WPI [4]

What does this essay say about me as a person? Did I use the hyphen correctly in the third paragraph? Also, do the paragraphs, sentences, or the entire essay seem short? Oh and do I need a title? If so I imagine something along the lines of "Moving on" or something involving high school would be appropriate.Thanks in advance for all who help.

My final days in middle school were the hardest in my life; I had spent the last ten years in a single school and now had to take the leap into high school. I had been with the same people; they were my friends, as close as family. As hard as it was, I had to say goodbye. We were spreading out and going to different schools; I would be alone. I knew things would never be the same, but I didn't quite understand that it was all part of growing up.

I took my first steps into high school, still the same person I was the year before. I had to adapt, to learn how to survive on my own. I struggled with this new school, this newfound (is this one or two words?) freedom. I started to make friends and meet new people, but they weren't close friends. I always had a place in me for my true friends, but at the time, that place was empty.

The following year I started to come outside my shell and leave my comfort zone. I became focused. I was more active and doing better in class- and I was finally growing up. I was more motivated, and realized how important school was. I started to enjoy it again. This empty place inside me had finally started to fill up.

I began my work career and my junior year almost at the same time. I took on the responsibilities of an adult and a teenager simultaneously, and did not let the two mingle; I always put school before anything else. By this time I finally felt at home again, I felt like things were right, that I belonged. Nevertheless, as a junior I knew that I couldn't stay in this stage forever; I knew I had to move on soon.

Now it is senior year and after three years of making changes and adapting to this new place, it is time to get ready to leave yet again. I have true friends finally, but I know I can't stay with them forever and I accept that. My empty place had been filled, but (should i put "now" here?) I would have to empty it all over again. Every day college is on my mind; I think about my upcoming life and I feel the pressure, but I'm determined. The future waits with open arms, and this time I am eager to take a step into a new world that had struck me with fear so many years ago. It will still be difficult but easier now. I know I have to start all over, and I know I have to say goodbye once more, but I will be ready this time, this time I'm prepared.