Undergraduate / "My sister (I was mean)" -Essay about someone who has made an impact on my life. [5]

- Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.

I wrote about my sister. It's my rough draft, and I would appreciate any corrections and comments on my essay, thanks!

Since the day she was born, we were in war mode (or so it feels like). She was the talented one; she was the generous one; she was the pretty one; she was the most loved one. My sister was the baby girl in the family, and I had to be the older sister. I was always jealous of the attention she got from the family and other people. Everyone would tell her how nice and talented she was, and nobody, I thought, paid any attention to me. So I chose to be the mean sister.

I was a very mean sister. When I was younger, I would make my sister give things to me, and if she refused, I would tell her that I would not be her friend anymore. Being the kind soul she was, she would give things to me, even her most prized possessions. I would bring her down by picking on her and ignoring her whenever my friends came over. My sister could not talk well until she was eight years old, and of course, I made fun of that. Even so, now that I look back, she was never, not even once, mean to me. She always wanted to play with me and to be just like me. I think the way she looked up to me only empowered me more to take advantage of her. However, things started to change when I realized that I could lose my sister. My sister was seven years old. My parents thought my sister had the common cold. Even the doctor said so. However, her symptoms became worse. She was no longer the happy, vibrant sister I used to know. She would be laying in her bed lifelessly, and her once rosy cheeks were drained of color. I felt very guilty. It felt like I was the reason she was sick. I would cringe under my blanket when I heard her scream and cough hard in the middle of the night. My parents, after a week, finally realized that my sister was in a much worse condition than they thought. We went to a bigger hospital, and my sister was diagnosed with a serious case of pneumonia. I remember my parents being yelled at by a doctor for bringing my sister in too late. I stayed at my aunt's house for two weeks, and it was the worst two weeks of my life. I did not have my sister with me. When I went to visit my sister for the first time, she greeted me with a big smile. She told me how much she missed me, and it was then I finally realized how much I was blessed with such a great sister.

Even after several years, my sister has not lost her kindness. It amazes me to know how a person can be so unchanging. Her genuineness has impacted to be a better and loving person. She has given me a sense of strong security, because I know that I can always turn to my little sister for advice and comfort. I am stuck with her for a long time, but I am not complaining.

Undergraduate / "A Small Frog in a Small Pond" - UT undergrad essay [4]

I want to know if the essay that I have relates to the prompt (any other corrections and comments would be more than helpful too). The prompt is choose an issue of importance to you-the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope-and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.

Many teenagers in today's society, especially the ones living in developed countries, are handed everything. Therefore, it is difficult for those teenagers to be watchful about things that happen outside of their small world; they are likely to be drawn away from learning about and participating in compelling issues and other cultures around the world. I know that because I was one of those teenagers. However, my perspective changed after I visited Cambodia.

The air was heavy, and it smelled of exotic spices; I could not help reaching my hand up to my nose. The unfamiliar smell was the only factor that dominated my senses for the longest time. It was obvious that I was not ready for my first mission trip, but what could I do? I was already there.

I was to spend a whole week, mainly in the southern rural area of Kampot, Cambodia. Oh, it was amazing, amazingly provincial. Around me, there were no bathrooms, no safe drinking water, and did I mention no bathrooms? All these trivial things, although not so trivial at the time, started to bother me, and at that point I had completely forgotten my reason of being there. Then, one became two and two became three; little children from the area started gathering around us. They had heard about our little mission work. Children of all sizes, though most of them lanky and small, came with one idea, what could these people possibly do for us? When I saw this through their questioning eyes, I was terrified. However, it did not take long for this fear to turn into stimulation. I was more than ready to interact with these kids. I did not know Khmer, and I did not know all their customs, but these cultural barriers motivated me, or rather forced me to, use my heart. I must have done something right, or they must have really pitied my effort. Many of them started showing signs of genuine interest in me. On my third day in Cambodia, this little girl came up to me and handed me a small, green fruit. She showed me how to eat it, and she even shared her salt bag to dip the fruit in. I did not realize right away that this was possibly the best way this little girl could show fondness for me. In Cambodia, people do not have much, and generally, they do not have much to eat. By sharing her food with me, she was opening herself to me. I was truly amazed.

To every beginning, there is an end. Just when I thought I was coming to know many of the kids, it was time for me to leave. At first, my intention of going to Cambodia was to give something to the less fortunate. However, it was the kids who gave and taught me important things I need to know in life. Through them I learned that there are things much more important than being comfortable; in order to understand and reach out to compelling issues and diverse cultures around the world, I need to be able to break away from my temporary, physical desires. Furthermore, through them I learned that being open minded would let me see and feel many inspiring and enriching things in life. And as I walked into the plane, I realized that I didn't even care about the smell anymore.