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Posts by pshizz
Joined: Oct 31, 2010
Last Post: Nov 9, 2010
Threads: 2
Posts: 4  

From: United States

Displayed posts: 6
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pshizz   
Nov 9, 2010
Undergraduate / "a career in economics once I graduate" - George Washington Supplement [3]

Hey guys. In advance, thank you for your help. This is my supplement for GW which i am applying to ED tomorrow or maybe even tonight. Any help would be appreciated.

The question is: Attach an essay of no more than 500 words indicating what most influenced you to apply to The George Washington University (required of all applicants). If you are applying to an accelerated or special program, also explain why you are interested in this program at GW.

FYI i am NOT applying to a special program.

"You should look at the George Washington University, Kaitlyn loves it there" my father explained. The proposition did not even register in my mind at the time. Sure, I heard of GW partly because my best friends sister went there. However, I had never thought of George Washington as a place where I would think about going to college. Coming from Boston, where there is a plethora of good colleges, nothing about going to a school hundreds of miles from home appealed to me. Looking back, I laugh at my ignorance for judging George Washington University before I knew what it was really all about and what it had to offer.

Of the many reasons that inspired me to apply to the George Washington University, the post college opportunities offered in Washington D.C. are the most significant. Ever since visiting the U.S. capital and George Washington University campus, I have been drawn to the international atmosphere that is unlike anywhere else in the United States. This parallels my interest in pursuing a career in economics once I graduate. Helping to attain a stable and dependable global economy is one of the challenges the world faces trying to rebound from the financial crisis of 2008. Being able to utilize the first class professors and internship opportunities for economics majors in the Columbian College of Arts and Sciences, would make my dream of having influence over the global economy much more attainable. In addition to this, George Washington's excellent study abroad program would also help further my education and appease another one of my goals, studying at the London School of Economics. Whilst in the process of taking AP Economics at my high school, I have found out that it is my interest and passion that I intend on pursuing at a higher level of education. I hope that I will be able to take my ambition and drive to an institution where my ideas will not go to waste. I know that George Washington will allow me to do this, which is why it is at the top my list. I believe that George Washington University is the perfect school for me because I will be able to apply my knowledge to make a difference once my schooling is through.
pshizz   
Nov 9, 2010
Writing Feedback / Leaders that had effect on the world [5]

When he became a king, their was many social and political problems that encounter Jordan, the most important issue was the crisis between the arab countries and Israel, the two parties was in a state of war, as a result there were a large number of palestenians that had lost their homes in the war.

This sentence is way too long and confusing. Try to break it up to 2 or maybe even 3 separate sentences to make things clearer and easier to understand.
pshizz   
Oct 31, 2010
Undergraduate / "I have become more thoughtful and responsible" - College Admissions Essay [5]

Hey guys, just wondering if you could take a look at my essay, and give me some last minute advice before i submit my applications. Its for the common app and is option 6, which is to write about any experience.

While carrying a tray full of freshly cooked fish, I negotiated my way across the busy restaurant floor to my eagerly awaiting customers. It was just another Saturday night working at Captain Marden's Table and Takeaway, which has become my weekly shift since I was a sophomore. Captain Marden's is a local hot spot frequented by seafood fanatics and breakfast mavens in my hometown of Wellesley, Massachusetts. It has been a Wellesley institution for nearly 70 years, and is very popular with the locals. With the restaurant only having the capacity to seat 52 people, and consistently having customers lined out the door, my job as a waiter is to get the people what they want as quickly and efficiently as possible.

Over my four years at Captain Marden's, I have learned many important lessons. One of the most important has been my ability to successfully interact and work constructively with a variety of people. While working as a waiter and host, I have encountered all types of personalities. My favorites are the regulars. Those who I see almost every time I work and seem to always order the same thing. They chat up the staff like we're family and sometimes distract us from doing our job properly. I wouldn't care if they didn't tip well, because they are the best and make my job more enjoyable. Thankfully most customers are polite and appreciative, while some are impatient and rude. Usually I am the first to be asked why air conditioning is too cold, why we increased prices, why we changed menus, and many other issues that are simply out of my control. This can sometimes make for a stressful job, because pleasing everyone is a tough task and often impossible. I have learned that the hard way. People can become very hostile when the only person standing between them and their food is a high school student telling them it isn't ready yet. However, I do not regret working as a waiter. I believe it is a worthwhile experience for anyone, because it has made me an all around more resilient and competent individual.

In addition to meeting customers of all kinds, I have also had the pleasure of working with people from a variety of different backgrounds. College students, musicians, Brazilian immigrants, and even former truck drivers are just a few examples of people I have worked with at Captain Marden's. Coming from a high school and town where diversity is uncommon, it has been a breath of fresh air to experience unique and unfamiliar traditions. This diversity has opened me up to many new opportunities. During this past summer's world cup, I attended a party at a Brazilian restaurant with my co-workers. While there I ate traditional Brazilian cuisine and watched the soccer game between Brazil and Argentina. In the restaurant there were many festivities going on and it reminded me of a typical tailgate party before a football game. This party was able to educated me on South American culture through first hand experience, which is something not otherwise offered or available at my high school.

Working twice a week for the last four years has also taught me a great deal of self-discipline. Being trusted to wait on customers as a young and immature 14 year old made me grow up quickly. I had to take on great responsibility and certainly couldn't act the same as I would around my friends. With an increased work ethic and greater all around social skills, I am able to successfully interact with an eclectic mix of interesting people, which has been most gratifying. These experiences did not only have a positive effect on me while working, but also helped develop me as a person. As a result, I have become more thoughtful and responsible because of my working experience at Captain Marden's.
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